Q&A: Jess

Up today, I have a Q&A from Jess. Jess is a 24 year-old ABDL from Toronto, Ontario - soon to be relocating to the USA. I've been waiting for Jess to send someone in since before the Q&A's even began. I think you'll enjoy reading this one...

These Q&A entries are pretty amazing, filled with all kinds of introspection about the ABDL lifestyle. You can read them all at QandA.abysitter.com. If you want to complete a Q&A of your own, please email me at abysitter@gmail.com and ask for the questions, I'll hit you back with them asap.

 Q&A With Jess

Name/Nick: Jess           
Age: 24
City/State/Country: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
AB/DL/BabyFur/Other?: Man cub

The questions are:

• When did you first realize you were ABDL?

I was definitely young, still in high school. I remember finding DL-Boy and realizing there was this whole community who wore diapers for pleasure. At first it was exciting and thrilling, something that I wanted to taste. It’s like when you go to the ice cream shop and they have a new flavor. You are hesitant to taste it, but after you do, it’s usually a pleasant and exhilarating experience. After connecting with a few people, I found one guy who lived in my city. I was too afraid to ‘play’ so instead asked if he would drop off diapers in my mailbox. When he complied I was super happy. In those days text messaging wasn’t extremely popular, so he named a time to drive by the house. I peeked out the window waiting with bated breath. When he pulled up, delivered the diapers and drove away I immediately ran down to the mailbox, grabbed the diapers and put them on. It was my very first experience. It was simply amazing and made me realize I have a real kink for wearing.

• Does your family and/or friends know about you and diapers? If so, please explain how, and how they reacted?

You know, I’ve always been very open about my sexual and erotic interests (I consider diapers more an erotic experience). While not realizing that two men having sex and cruising each other was labeled by mainstream society as ‘gay’ when I was young, I’ve always been attracted to other men. That is not to say I’m not attracted to women, it’s just…less of an attraction. Again, I’ve been very open with my family and friends about my homosexual desires. However, diapers… I have closed it off from my family. Sure, they have found them in my room before, but I usually shrugged it off as a Halloween costume. Yet, my friends and my boyfriend know. I sort of make it a point. They have all been very open about it and most people treat it as if it’s not a big deal. It’s like an added bonus, like an inside joke, you know?

 
• Have you dealt with the shame and regret that is the binge/purge cycle? Please explain.

Ohhhh yes. I find that this is such a common experience with people who aren’t involved on a 24/7 basis. I’m always saying something like “oh, I’m not into it right now”. Then, three months later I’m searching the web looking for local stores with abenas and asking abies and dls to play. I guess it’s both the nature of the fetish and my own personal quirks. I’m scattered with most interests, so it makes sense that I’m rather fickle with my diaper desires.

• For collegebabies/DLs, did this interest affect your college experiences? If so, how?

I found college/university and grad school to be both limiting and liberating in terms of diaper play. On the one hand, having roommates and living in dorms made it much harder to buy diapers, feel comfortable having them shipped and feel comfortable wearing with roommates right outside my door. On the other hand, summers and breaks between semesters allowed me to hang out with different kinds of people involved in the ‘community’. I mean, when am I going to ever have three months of the year to just travel and hang out all the time? University. Additionally, the classes I took involving queer theory and sexuality studies allowed me to explore myself and tell myself that wearing diapers was okay. I didn’t need approval from mainstream society. Mainstream society it would seem makes caricatures of abies. So yes, my diaper fetish did affect my college experiences, but mostly in a positive way.

• How has this fetish affected your social life and/or dating?

Being social with a vast group of people is really important to me. This tendency might be one of the reasons why I’m so open about my erotic and sexual interests. Taking this into account, I also know that not everyone is totally open or even worse, says they are okay with it but when they are in my diapered presence change their mind. So, I really gotta watch out for these sorts of situations. Therefore, while I am open about my desires, I’m also cognizant that I live in a society which doesn’t speak fondly of diaper boys or even more-than-normal hairy people.

• How does body hair influence your diaper fetish?

I find that people in every sexual and fetish group (gays, lesbians, bisexuals, heteros, leather daddies, boys, bears, diaper lovers, adult babies, etc.) has a representation of what is considered desirable. For abies, this means hairless. I have gotten a range of negative comments concerning my body hair. I understand that trimming my hair around my genitals is important for diaper changes, but the rest? I mean, come on. You can’t expect every AB to completely shave themselves. I love my hair so much and I think others do as well, which is why I refuse to shave or trim the majority of my body hair. Which brings me to an important point: my body hair allows me to be masculine while still being a submissive baby boy. Whether or not I’m playing a baby, I still think of myself as an man who wishes to be submissive and be put into diapers. There is never a thought in my mind that I am not 24 and my hair helps to reinforce that feeling.

• Do your interests involve a subset of this community, such as babyfurs, diaper disciplinarians, wet/messy, sissybabies etc.? Please tell us about it. I won't even try to be specific here; just tell us what you think people should know.

As I have stated previously, I am a very social person and that also means that it is sometimes hard for people to dominate me. I’m always talking and chatting and it takes a real daddy to shut my trap and order me to do things. I love when a man dominates me, when he tells me to sit on his lap, what to do, how to do it, etc.

Other interests include, thick wet diapers. I love it when I feel the wet soggy thick diaper between my legs. I love it when the thick diaper forces me to waddle around.

• Anything else?

Well, I am moving to Seattle soon to live with my partner. I am super excited to live on the West coast as I have only visited a few times. If anyone is reading and is in the area, I am usually searching for play friends and a potential daddy. If you want to chat, I’m always up for a little conversation. However, it may take awhile before I get back to you. 

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