Q&A With Growing-boysXL
Name/Nick: Dan, Growing-boysxl
Age: 22
City/State/Country: Leesburg Virginia, United States
AB/DL/BabyFur/Other? I’m ABDL, as well as into the Adult Boy, Spanko, and feederism kinks.
When did you first realize you were ABDL?
Well, I was in diapers when I was 5. Youngest child perks! But that ended up factoring in a lot to my childhood, as well as weirdly ending up in diapers on numerous occasions when I was a kid… but I’ll share those later. I always sort of knew I was interested in it. I used to draw pictures of boys my age peeing their pants, in desperate “potty dance” poses, or in diapers soaked in urine from when I was around 7. The idea of diapers being used past the age of being a baby was always fascinating to me, and it followed me all throughout my childhood until I discovered the term “AB/DL” in my early teens.
What steps did you take to get your diaper 'fix' as a child and/or teen?
As mentioned before, I had several weird experiences when I was a kid. One time when I was 7 I actually found some of my old pull-ups in our bathroom and started wearing them occasionally when my parents didn’t know. I would wear them to church, to friend’s houses, stuff like that. An interesting story ended up coming out of this pull-up era. One time ended up being a bit interesting, in that I wore it to a church function on a Wednesday night. I ended up wetting it, and it leaked, which was kind of embarrassing. The worst part though was my parents weren’t there and I ended up getting taken to the church nursery and changed on the changing table, and put into an actual diaper. Since my pants were wet I actually ended up having to wait there for my parents in just a diaper. And no, that’s not fictional, that actually happened to me. lol Another time I was able to satisfy my craving was when I was 12 at my buddy’s house. They had just moved, and my best friend’s younger brother was about 8 at the time. Unbeknownst to me, he was a bed wetter, and while exploring the house, i found a pack of boys goodnites. I knew I had to have them, but didn’t know how. So I ended up taking them to the bathroom and putting one on. However, my shorts were pretty loose (It was 2007 and cargo shorts were in) so I figured I could get away with more. Long story short, by putting them on over each other one by one I was able to waddle off with pretty much an entire pack of goodnites on. Do your parents and/or siblings know about you and diapers? If so, please explain how, and how they reacted? My parents have known about it since I was pretty much 10. They’re religious so it hit them hard, especially finding out I was gay. This led to me spending years trying to purge it from my life.
Have you dealt with the shame and regret that is the binge/purge cycle? Please explain.
I dealt with it until i turned 18 really. I was very religious growing up, and was not only ashamed of my sexuality, but diapers as well. I was in a church which really pressured conformity and holiness, so it ended up I felt as though I could “fix” myself by trying to purge the diaper stories, and fantasies from my life. Needless to say, it didn’t work. It actually drove me to a severe depression for several years. I knew I couldn’t suppress who I was for very long before I dropped right back in where I had been before. The guilt I forced myself to feel, and the shame really crippled me and I became really secluded in my youth group. This ended up sending me in a downward spiral, and when I was 14 I attempted to take my life. Needless to say, I failed and my mom walked in on me. I realized at that point there was very little point in trying to hold myself back from who I was. I needed to learn to accept and embrace who I was, because holding it back was literally going to kill me.
For collegebabies/DLs, did this interest affect your college experiences? If so, how?
I’ve had interesting experiences, as I attend one of the largest christian universities in the world. (parents pay for school, and my brother goes there) It’s a great school… but I definitely feel pretty weird being gay and ABDL there. The funny thing is though, I’ve managed to find other kinky gay folks on campus. In fact, one of the guys from my choir actually is ABDL, and we’re rooming together next year. I’ve spanked boys in back seats of cars, diapered boys up in tuxes before concerts, all the fun stuff. It’s just an interesting experience living on the DL (pun intended) where I am.
How has this fetish affected your social life and/or dating? Married life? Parenting?
Well, I’m actually dating another ABDL, which has been great! He used to have a blog on Tumblr, TheLittleVryk. We’ve been dating about two years now and I can definitely say I’ve never been so in love with anyone in my life. We met through tumblr, and fell in love with each other from a distance, so I can definitely say that embracing your fetish and finding someone into it as well is definitely an achievable goal. :)
Some experts believe that we become the way we are because of traumas experienced at an early age, including abuse and/or neglect. Do your life experiences bear this out?
My dad was in the military when I was a kid and so he wasn’t really around a lot, so I definitely see that kind of “daddy issue” (no offense intended) kind of thing happening with my craving for a male authority figure.
For the little dunces, please tell us about what it was like to discover this fetish/lifestyle on the Internet. Please be at least 18 at the time of writing, but be specific about what age you discovered it, what sites helped you, and keep this part PG for obvious reasons.
Obviously I already knew about diapers as a fetish, but my first exposure was at 12 through an ABDL story site. I’d read about young men my age and older winding up back in diapers and I knew I wasn’t the only one, or a freak.
Do your interests involve a subset of this community, such as babyfurs, diaper disciplinarians, wet/messy, sissybabies etc.? Please tell us about it. I won't even try to be specific here; just tell us what you think people should know.
Yeah! Those of you who follow my blog (growing-boysxl.tumblr.com) prolly already know about my kinky ways, but I’m majorly into the feederism fetish. Feederism, or “Gaining” is all about men who either overeat, bloat, or get fat on purpose. It’s also about another person taking charge of the “feedee” and fattening them up. It’s basically the sexualization of growing overweight, letting yourself go, and blowing up like a balloon. I’ve actually found it interesting in that, while some readers even now might find it odd, I’ve actually discovered it’s one of the biggest secret subset fetishes in the community. When I started my blog, I was the only ABDL at the time even talking about the gaining fetish in the realm of diapers and regression. However as I’ve talked with more and more ABDLs, many have actually opened up to me about their kink for being fed, or fattened up. There are actually about 8-12 blogs I follow now that feature a diaper boy or little who is fattening up as well, which is a 1200% improvement from when I started, lol. More and more ABDLs come to me every year confessing how they’d secretly love to be one of my “Hansel”s and get fattened up on sweets like an irresponsible greedy boy, but have been afraid to be open about it. It fits in really well in a lot of guys heads with the regression kink, with greedy boy archetypes like Augustus Gloop, Bruce from Matilda, or Hansel all examples of greedy boys who need to be chided and teased for being so greedy and childish. I think a lot of the reasons guys aren’t as forthcoming with it is because the idea of growing fat is so frowned upon, in the gay community especially, and guys think they won’t be considered attractive anymore if they give in to their desires. I myself have dealt with a lot of body image issues as well due to this. It’s actually been really cool over the past few years to see more full-figured abdls, not only those with the gaining kink, come out of their shells and start posting. It makes me really really proud to see people accepting the beauty of their own bodies. This goes without saying but if anyone is curious about gaining, and wants to talk openly or discreetly about it, or just find out more, please shoot me a message! I’d love to hear from you!
What % of your sexual activities and/or masturbation incorporate diapers? Has this caused problems for you?
Well I’m more of a daddy, but generally even in my fantasies, diapers, or seeing a guy get treated like a little boy is always a big part of my sexual experience. I really honestly am pretty disinterested in vanilla sex, so I’d say it has it’s drawbacks. But again, I prefer kinky sex anyhow so it’s all good.
If you get into the regression aspect of ABDL please tell us more about that. If you do not, and you have feelings about being lumped into a fetish involving it, explain how it makes you feel.
I love being treated like I’m a little boy. My little age is between 7-11, since I’m more into the “adult boy” fetish than “adult baby”. For me it goes back to my childhood and the pictures I used to draw and experiences I had. It’s all about that taboo humiliation and “In diapers?! At *his* age?!?” Kind of thing. When I’m big it’s all about that vulnerability and seeing a guy reduced to nothing but a toddler. It can be a huge part of sex, but as far as when a guy gets little, I’m also a big snuggly daddy who likes to spoil and baby his little guy platonically as well.
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