Q&A With PaddedCrinkles

[CWIS'S NOTE] Up today I have a Q&A with someone new to the blog: PaddedCrinkles! You may know him from his ABDL.link profile - @paddedcrinkles. Today he's taken the time to answer my Q&A questions and has sent in a few adorable pics as well. Enjoy!

Q&A With PaddedCrinkles

Name/Nick: PaddedCrinkles

Online Presence: https://abdl.link/@PaddedCrinkles 

Age: 33, cisgender gay male

City/State/Country: Phoenix, AZ, USA

AB/DL/BabyFur/Other? Both AB and DL. Often pretty centric, but some days it can sway heavy to one side or the other.

When did you first realize you were ABDL?

I can't say that I did really realize it until just a few years ago - about 3 or so years ago. Perhaps that makes me a late bloomer in this scene, but of course there's more to this story. I grew up fast and matured early as a child, but there was a period around age 10-11 when I had this overwhelming desire to be back in boys briefs (a drastic departure from the cool-kids boxer shorts at that time, in my neck of the woods). And somehow I did convince my mother to buy me some, but with adult reflection I think this was the first sign that I was really looking for more - but there was no feasible way for me to achieve anything more at that time. 

What steps did you take to get your diaper 'fix' as a child and/or teen?

Not long after and into my early teens, I had a few "reserve" pairs of undies that I would secretly wet when I had some alone time. I also made my fair share of homemade diapers around the same time, usually using plastic wrap and paper towels. I really didn't have any access to actual diapers without any younger siblings or extend family members. 

Do your parents and/or siblings know about you and diapers? If so, please explain how, and how they reacted?

Nope - and I intend to keep it that way. As a married adult now, it's simply none of my family's business. Only a handful of close kink-positive or ABDL friends know, and that's enough for me.

Have you dealt with the shame and regret that is the binge/purge cycle? Please explain.

Maybe this is a blessing of finding my way into this life at a later age, but this is not something I have dealt with. Plus I'd be too cheap to ever rid myself of my stash. :P

How has this fetish affected your social life and/or dating? Married life?

I have been with my husband over nine years. I did not embrace this fetish until well into our relationship, so it never had an opportunity to effect my dating life. We both talked openly about our kinks and past experiences early in our relationship, and as time progressed we both introduced more of them into our lives. We both support another in what excites us the most, and have some fluidity in our kink roles. So overall, it's a good experience, but I know it does get a bit much for him when I do extended periods (more than 4 weeks) of 24/7. My social life is not effected at all, unless I've chosen to spend the occasion with other ABDLs. I do discretely wear in public and have done such with vanilla friends who are none the wiser.

Some experts believe that we become the way we are because of traumas experienced at an early age, including abuse and/or neglect. Do your life experiences bear this out?

Not at all. I grew up in a very stable household and my mother was a homemaker. I certainly struggled with my own sexuality and had my own demons I quietly fought on that front. But from a parental standpoint, my life was free of abuse or neglect. 

For the little dunces, please tell us about what it was like to discover this fetish/lifestyle on the Internet. Please be at least 18 at the time of writing, but be specific about what age you discovered it, what sites helped you, and keep this part PG for obvious reasons.

Most of my internet revelations as a teen all had to do with my sexuality. Diapers were not a part of my young internet discoveries.

Do your interests involve a subset of this community, such as babyfurs, diaper disciplinarians, wet/messy, sissybabies etc.? Please tell us about it. I won't even try to be specific here; just tell us what you think people should know.

I find myself a bit all over the map here. I would not consider myself a babyfur or a furry but I do find myself fascinated with that community and have come to learn a great deal about it. Therefore, I am well educated but not a participant. My husband will sometimes take a soft caretaker role, and that's always fun, but it is not something I would ever want full time. Diaper punishments, within reason, are enticing to me and something I do partake in from time to time. If my husband is in his caretaker mode, I do like to push things to the point of various punishments, which are not typically sexual. When I'm feeling especially little, secretly messing and trying not to get caught being messy around the house is a favorite of mine. Lastly, sissification is a turn off for me and something I have little interest in.

What % of your sexual activities and/or masturbation incorporate diapers? Has this caused problems for you?

At this point in my life, sexual activity is probably about 50% diaper related. The rest can range from vanilla gay sex to complete incorporation of my husbands kinks. Rarely do I masturbate, but when that's the case it's highly likely a diaper is involved. I do not feel this has caused any problems in my life or marriage. We try hard to both be good communicators and let the other know what we're craving, and we both understand there must be balance of kinks. I am the one who tends to have the higher sex drive, so my husband usually couldn't care less if I choose to masturbate without him. And sometimes a long period of being 24/7 will really lower my sex drive.

If you get into the regression aspect of ABDL please tell us more about that. If you do not, and you have feelings about being lumped into a fetish involving it, explain how it makes you feel.

I do occasionally enjoy regression. It's pretty hard for me to switch off my adult brain, but sometimes I can let myself fall into emotionally little responses when in the right head space. To get there, it takes a fair bit of help: diapers, onesies, pacis, bottles, etc. It's an interesting experience for me, and tends to be more therapeutic than anything. In times when I need some stress or anxiety management, it is pretty powerful. When I do regress, sexual desires tend to fade, and anything sexual quickly feels unwelcome. That aspect has been hard for me to deal with sometimes; it's especially hard to explain to an outsider.

This is a bit of a tangent to this question, and perhaps should be it's own question, but certainly related to the topic. 

I do have a bit of a stuffie/plushie soft spot. I have fond memories of being a child and having quite a few favorite plushies, and I used to insist on sleeping with them every night. Doing such these days really helps me find my little space, and I often sleep with a single plushie today. Stitch is a favorite of mine, in both personality and persona, and you'll often see him appear in various forms in many of my photos. :)

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I'LL REPLY WITH THE QUESTIONS. 18+!

Slurp... slurp...

Spent the afternoon in a warm, wet diaper

out on the dock on our first 70 degree day of 2019.

Thanks to LittleBroTyTy,

who picked up two of the new Safari glass bottles

on special at CAPCON

and was cool enough to let me bring one home.

It makes me feel so little! 

Looking forward to putting this to use on the Luvs Boat!

Sometimes a purge is more than just a purge...

ANTISOCIAL

PERSONALITY DISORDER

I suffer from depression, seasonal affective disorder, and anxiety. I've talked about my own issues with separation anxiety in this blog in the past. So I know that mental disorders exist, even if I'm not someone who typically puts a lot of stock in the armchair psychologists like my straight/vanilla friend, Will, who continuously calls me to explain how some book he's read or some article he's seen on Facebook completely explains why none of his relationships work: it's because the other person is a narcissist, or some other personality type. (It's never just because Will sucks with women lol). 

But I recently read something that, taken into context with something a friend told me about himself, made something click inside my mind. So I did a little research. And what I found was... Antisocial Personality Disorder.

Antisocial personality disorder, sometimes called sociopathy, is a mental health condition in which a person consistently shows no regard for right and wrong and ignores the rights and feelings of others. People with antisocial personality disorder tend to manipulate or treat others harshly or with callous indifference. They typically show no guilt or remorse for their behavior.

Individuals with antisocial personality disorder may lie, or behave violently or impulsively. Because of these characteristics, people with this disorder typically can't fulfill responsibilities related to family, work or school. 

• Disregard for right and wrong
• Persistent lying or deceit to exploit others
• Being callous, cynical and disrespectful of others
• A disregard for the feelings of others
• Using charm or wit to manipulate others for personal gain or personal pleasure
• Arrogance, a sense of superiority and being extremely opinionated
• Repeatedly violating the rights of others through dishonesty
• Lack of empathy for others and lack of remorse about harming others
• Unnecessary risk-taking or dangerous behavior with no regard for the safety of self or others
• Poor relationships
• Failure to consider the negative consequences of behavior or learn from them

I've run into a few people in our community who display some or all of these behaviors. But until I read something that explained what Antisocial Personality Disorder is, I really didn't understand it. 

These tend to be the people who purge or disappear, often after taking everything they can from a relationship, or even a friendship, and leaving without a trace  They may come into your life in a flash and disappear just as quickly - or they may stay around for a long time, and then leave without a shred of guilt when the moment suits them. 

Often, the person who has been ghosted, broken up with, or left behind feels awful about it and themselves - and it can take quite a bit of time to recover. 

I have contributors to my blog who have up and left the community after being in relationships with what was likely someone with Antisocial Personality Disorder. One friend went through a series of similar relationships, enough to believe that he was the problem for quite a while, until an ex did the exact same thing to another person in our community. 

I've heard people in our community refer to certain people as the grifters of ABDL - people who are typically viewed by others as taking total advantage, seemingly with zero guilt. Consider: 

• An ABDL who travels across the country meeting new people, having lots of fun escapades, always promising to call - but who instead vanishes, blocking a number of his 'new friends' from all social platforms instead - while continuing to post photographic exploits with new people.
• Someone who pretends to be in a deep relationship with someone else, but who is really just waiting for his true desired relationship partner to become available, and who jettisons his original 'partner' like yesterday's trash.
• Someone who, while in a long-term relationship with another ABDL, continuously takes everything and gives very little back to the relationship, especially in terms of financial help and support; this same person is later found to have been texting others the whole time about how little he has to work, and how much of the other person's money he's able to spend, something that goes on for several years. 
• Someone who pretends to forge a close big/little, DD/LB or DD/LG, or even romantic relationship, but really just needs a place to stay, and has no intentions of maintaining the relationship once he's found another place to stay. 
• An ABDL who appears to be trying to amass a record number of sex partners, but who has little use for those he's had sexual encounters with once he's done with them. 

I'm privy to the stories above because people in the community trust me, and share some of their lowest moments with me. Or sometimes because people become incensed when they realize they've been duped or taken advantage of, and they hope I will use my blog platform to use others. 

I don't put anyone on blast. But I include the bullet points above because I think people should be on the lookout for this kind of behavior. If you can spot it early on, it may help you make decisions about the relationship that you otherwise wouldn't. And even if you make the wrong decision, or don't recognize the signs until it's too late, hopefully understanding that you've been a victim of someone with Antisocial Personality Disorder will help you spend less time wallowing in the missing of that person, and more time moving on to someone who is deserving of you. 

I've known people in our community who display some or all of the signs of Antisocial Personality Disorder. They are some of the people I've liked the most, and as I've come to understand this more I've come to the conclusion that they can't help their antisocial behaviors any more than I can help being depressed, or having an occasional anxiety attack. 

But with me, you know what you're getting up front. I'll be the first person to tell you that I have had lifelong depression - I've blogged about it, and I talk about it often. And although I was once one of the people who foolishly believed that anxiety wasn't 'real', and told a friend with anxiety to try things like hot baths and meditation - what a jackass I was back then lol - I now understand the physical affects anxiety has, and if I'm having an anxiety attack I let the people around me know. 

People with Antisocial Personality Disorder, by virtue of the disorder itself, typically don't recognize the signs of it. 

Every once in a while one will recognize the signs, at least - and if they're kind enough to share them with you, you're likely to hear about it in the passion of an argument, or during a breakup. They may admit to using other people to get their own needs met but offer some sort of reasoning behind why they're that way. Or they may describe themselves as monsters, or worse, out of anger - usually in a push to get the other person to abandon the relationship. 

They aren't monsters. But something, somewhere, went wrong, and because of it - genes, environment, or some unknown factors - they are capable of seeming to be the most loving, caring people one moment, and being completely indifferent - or even just disappearing - the next. 

If you think you may be one of the people I'm referring to above, you probably are. Don't ask me. Instead, read the bullet points and decide whether a number of them apply to you. Or ask the people around you what they think. 

And if you're in a relationship with someone who fits the description, encourage them to get therapy. They're not evil - but they may be broken in ways they don't fully understand and are powerless to stop. Help may be available, but they'll never get it on their own. 

Regardless, if you get ghosted, broken up with, or worse, understand that it's likely that the problem really isn't you - it's them. Ghosting is rampant in our community, and while it usually doesn't have a negative effect on others, I hear about some of the cases where it does. People with Antisocial Personality Disorder are the perfect candidates to ghost, and they are likely to be the ones to come back into the community at full force, without showing a shred of remorse for the people they've hurt.  Sometimes a purge really is more than a purge - sometimes it's mental illness. 

I promise not to spend too much time on armchair psychology on this blog. But a few stories I've heard recently, and some realizations I've come to on my own, made me want to jot this down. Hope it helps someone. 

Guest Entry Writers, Others Wanted...

CONTRIBUTORS WANTED

I am looking for

guest entry writers

(all topics)

and maybe some video creators

for a new ABDL website project I am working on.

I'll have more info soon,

but if writing is your thing

and you're interested in contributing

stuff for the community

email me.

18+