And, below, also courtesy of WindmanSA,
is the text from the most recent YOU magazine article,
published last month:
He dresses in nappies, sucks a dummy - and
offers support for other South Africans like him
By JACO HOUGH-COETZEE
He’s a
boerseun ( a typical South African Afrikaans boy ) from the Northern
Cape and a factory foreman who oversees 80 people. At - weekends he braais
(barbeques) with the guys, drinks brandy and Coke and talks rugby. In between
he teaches karate.
Bur Johan Prinsloo *
(not his real name ~ 40) has a secret: every day He wears a disposable nappy
under his jeans. And at night he puts on an extra-large nappy before he goes to
bed. Sometimes he even sucks a dummy
Johan is an adult baby
and the fact that he wears nappies has nothing to do with health problems -
he's just a grown-up who chooses to escape to a baby world where he feels
emotionally secure.
It’s a worldwide
phenomenon (see box on opposite page) and was recently m the news again in the
UK when Channel 4 broadcast the documentary the 15 Stone Babies.
Johan is married with
two children, which is why he prefers not to reveal his true identity But he isn’t
ashamed to be an infantilist - the name for adults who sometimes live like
babies.
He readily poses for
photographs and even puts on his oversized nappy He laughs when he's addressed
as meneer (mister). A man who still wears nappies is definitely not a meneer,
he says. "Rather call me meneertjie ?(meneertjie = little man)
He says without all the
baby paraphernalia he feels defenceless and afraid. If it weren't for that l don’t
know if I’d be able to face the challenges of every day.
The first time he read
about adults who, like him* choose to live in a baby world was in YOU in 1996
(29 February), When he put on a nappy for the first time in his early twenties
but thought he was the only man la the world to do so.
But after reading the
article he began to
search the internet for
the keywords infantilism* and "adult baby syndrome" - and suddenly he
was no longer alone.
"There are hundreds
of websites overseas with thousands of members who practise infantilism,"
he says. *But here in South Africa there was nothing.”
That’s why he recently
started his website, adultbabies.co.za “
"The message I want
to get across it’s okay to be this way — you're not alone
The ashtray on the stoep
(veranda) is soon full because Johan puts out one cigarette after another. He's
nervous because this it’s first time he's telling his story to stranger he
admits. An hour ago he took a headache powder to steady his nerves,
But if you hide all the
time and deny that you are an infantilist you end up major psychological
problems.
He hid it for 18 years
but now accepts himself, he says after his fourth cup of coffee. “It was a hell
of a long road towards acceptance. You go through phases when you wear a nappy
and are okay with it, but then the feelings of guilt return. Then you throw
everything away, only to go out and buy the next batch a month later.”
A psychologist he
consulted in 2003 said he thought Johan hadn’t received enough love from his
mother as child.
“Could be, I don’t know.
I remember how my father assaulted my mother every time she was unfaithful.
After their divorce she often left us alone when she went out.”
To grow up in such
circumstances makes you feel powerless. You think it’s your fault. Later your
poor self-image gets the better of you.”
But he doesn’t blame his
parents. “Still, after everything, I couldn’t have asked for better parents.
All parents do the best they can for their child at that particular moment in
their lives.”
What he did learn from
his psychological counselling sessions was to talk about his fears and emotions.
I can’t change myself: no one can. Communication, that‘s the key. After i
learnt to communicate, my marriage’s the strongest it’s been in 10 years.
But he doesn't
want his two primary school-age kids to know about his infantilism yet.
"One day when they're older I’ll xplain it to them.”
At night, when
the children are asleep, he puts on one of his large, brightly coloured
nappies. If he's had a bad day at work his wife holds him while he spends a
long time sucking at her breast. She comforts him and strokes his forehead. If he’s
away from home he can't sleep without a dummy in his mouth.
He refills his
cup again. "All people have their issues. Some reach for alcohol and others
take drugs. I reach for my dummy and nappies.
He has 13 of
these nappies in his wardrobe at home. And one of these days, when his website
is up and running, he wants to sell the homemade nappies on the site. He knows
10 other infantilists and among them they know or about 100 in country.
”But I estimate
there could be as a thousand of us. Because you to register on the discussion
forum on site, we'll soon know the correct estimate”
On the morning
of our visit 17 people had already registered on the forum.
His wife
doesn’t want to say much about her husband s habits. “Ag, whatever ….” was her
only reaction when Johan told her about the interview.
After another
cup of coffee he feels better, i t was good to talk about it, he says.
And his message
to other infantilists "Accept yourself, warts and all. Having a disorder
doesn‘t make you a bad person.”
* Not his real name
THE WORLD OF ADULT BABIES
The documentary
The 15-Stone Babies sheds light on the secret fives of adults Who wear
disposable nappies, suck dummies and drink from baby's bottles.
A couple on the
south coast off England, introduced only as Maxine and Derek, have had a
nursery in their house for 10 years where adults are treated like babies. It's
one of about a dozen in England.
Maxine plays
mom to Derek and other adults who pay £50 (about R700) an hour to be pacified,
fed baby food and given bottles, and to have their nappies changed.
“As soon as you
mention adult baby, they all think it's something to do with children, you know
paedophiles,” explains Derek, who’s been married for 27 years.m“We don’t want
to be with children. We want to be the child.”
Charlie Arnold
(31) has been going to a day-care centre at the University of Nebraska at
Omaha (UNO) since 2011.
"A lot of people think we're doing
something sick but adult babies just want to be like a baby," he says.
Adult babies
are well monitored and investigated before they're allowed to attend day-care
centres.
"Some of
these adult babies' obsession can be rooted to certain childhood events, while
others evolve their lifestyle later life," says Femi Cootie, a professor
of psychology at UNO.
“Regardless of
how they got this psychological obsession, they're Just trying to escape the
realities, stresses and burdens of adult life"
The kids at the
centre no longer see Charlie as an adult, says Martha Hubbard, an employee
there. “They associate him as being the head kid in charge and also the kids
who needs the most diaper changes. Besides his size, that separates him from
the other children.” Martha says, “Well, expect that he also drives two of our
kids’ home at the end of the day.”
