[CWIS'S NOTE] It's no secret that growing up ABDL is a difficult existence. Our need to wear diapers - and, for some of us, to explore our infant/toddler side - is balanced with a need to feel normal, and a need to hide this alternative side of ourselves from our friends and loved ones.
Some of us get hit with a double whammy: we're both gay and into the diaper lifestyle. Others of us are asexual, which is probably almost as difficult. But for all of us, no matter what our sexual orientation, growing up but never growing out of diapers is definitely hard to do.
Today I'm sharing with you a guest entry from Baby J. He's a collegebaby from the west coast who's contributed pictures to the blog before. He's offered to share some additional pictures, shown below - and, to share his story.
I'm including it here in his own words. It takes courage to share this much of yourself with our community, so if you know Joshua, say thanks...
MY ABDL STORY: BY BABY J
Alright people, I’m Josh Aka Baby J and this is my story.
To start off, I’ve always been into diapers & wanting to feel like a baby again ever since I can remember. My very first memory of diapers was when I was about 5 or so, my little brother was still in diapers at the time. There was a pack of pull-ups on the dresser and I was very curious, I knew that if I put a diaper on I could pee in it & not have to go to the bathroom, at the time those we’re the thoughts going through my head. So I took a diaper out of the package, took off my under wear and I put on the diaper then jumped in bed. A few minutes later I heard my dad calling my name, I didn’t have time to take the diaper off and put my underwear back on before he would come down the hallway so I just went out there in a T-shirt & the diaper hoping he wouldn’t notice. So I went down the hall & sat on the couch where him & my mom we’re and he looked at me in kind of a shocked look in his eyes & said why are you wearing a diaper? And of course being a 5 year old kid I said “I dunno” So he said okay well I’m going to show you where the potty is & my dad was a straight up dick so what he did was took me by the hand and into the bathroom & basically put face in the toilet, it wasn’t very fun. So this happened about three times before I learned my lesson & then I didn’t put on a diaper for awhile after that until I was about seven. When I was 7 one day, I went over to my cousins house and they we’re babies at the time so of course where there’s babies there’s diapers, so I took one & put it on right before we left and I took a couple extra just so I would have some. I got home later that night & ive already used the diaper, as a dumb little kid I just threw it in the bathroom trash not thinking that my parents would find it & they did. I got yelled at & they made me call my cousins mom and apologize for stealing there diapers, so that was embarrassing. I didn’t really want to deal with the humiliation just to satisfy myself so then I never wore diapers again until I was about 11 or 12 and it was on and off from that point on until I was 15. By this time my dad had divorced my mom & moved over seas so then I could do basically whatever I wanted. I had just moved to Fontana from Riverside California about a 20 min drive, after I had been there for awhile I was settled in. I got a pre-pay Visa card and put all the money I had on there. I would order cartons of Cigarettes & things off the internet. I would also order diapers, I only did this a few times because I didn’t want to get caught up my my mom or any of my friends. So I ordered 2 packs of Tena diapers, they came in a pretty big box I went up stairs & opened up the box, it felt like opening up a present on Christmas, it was great. The first thing I did was of course put one on, and they fitted perfectly and they felt comfy and bomb as fuckk around my dick. They lasted me a good while but around that time is when I had my first computer & I was curious of why I liked diapers, I didn’t really know why I just did and it made me feel good and wearing them filled in that missing spot it was like a security blanket to me and it just made me feel good and made me feel like a baby and I liked it. I knew that other people would be like “what the fuck is wrong with you, why would you want to wear a diaper?” That’s just common sense, normal people without this fetish/lifestyle whatever you want to call it would automatically come off negative, that’s just what happens People Misunderstand and are prejudice agents it naturally. That just goes to show how close minded people are, most people are idiots. So as I was saying, I had access to the internet & I started searching around and that’s how I discovered the online community of Adult babies and diaper lovers. I don’t think diaper space was around at that time but im not sure, as I was searching around the web I came across a lot of interesting thing but what caught my eye was these videos of girls in diapers & these girls wetting diapers. At that point I was completely intrigued and I wanted to know more. I read up on Infantilism or Paraphilic Infantilism, whatever you want to call it. So at that point I knew that I wasn’t alone and I wasn’t completely abnormal & it brought a sense of relief to me to know that I wasn’t the only person like this. From that point on I really got into the AB Part of my Fetish or as I would like to call it “Lifestyle”. I looked for adult baby cloths and any type of AB and baby Paraphernalia I was surprised to see how much was out there. I’ve continued to indulge in this ever since & im glad I’m glad I have. I kept everything under the radar but it wasn’t very hard since I was only living with my mom and my brother, but then an unfortunate course of events occurred. My dad stopped paying child support resulting in us losing the house, we ended up moving in a small apartment only to be evicted a few months later because my brother thought it would be funny to prank call the cops & say someone was dying in the street. They traced the call back to the apartment and we got evicted. The only place we had to go after that is to move in with my Aunt Uncle & my cousins. We’ve been here for about 3-4 years, after awhile my family kind of picked up on the diaper thing but the only person that really flipped out was my aunt but she’s a bitchh anyways everyone hates her anyways so I don’t give a fuck what she thinks. I wrote a letter to my mom & my uncle about the whole diaper thing, It said a lot about wanting to be accepted & trying to get them to understand what it was about, there actually open minded to a certain extent. They we’re kinda weirded out about it, but they haven’t said much to me about it accept for taking the trash out, But according to my aunt its still “unacceptable and agents the rules here” but I make sure she doesn’t know about it. Its not going to be a problem here anyways because I’l be out of here by the time this is up.
Okay so I have this Girlfriend and her name is Christine Jacqueline but me and everyone else call her Chunkyy or Jackie, She’s not fat she’s the fucken sexiest thing alive but its cutee, you would have to know us to understand. Anyways we’ve been together for about a year and 3 months, we’re like beyond in love its ridiculous, through everything we’re still together. So after we we’re together for about 9 months I really wanted to tell her about the whole “Diaper thing” But just like anyone would be I was sketchy & nervous and kinda scared of the possible out comes, but then I thought to myself like “I know we’re in love & I know she’s not going to leave me no matter what & even if she dose think its weird or whatever she’ll still accept me because she loves me.” And just knowing that from my heart gave me enough courage to open up to her. So I decided okay I really want to let her in on this part of me, so i thought about how I wanted to tell her & how it should go down, it played over & over in my head then I was like okay. I was actually in a diaper at this time anyways.
Okayy so first off, we're like already crazy in love so I trusted her & I was ready to tell her about this whole thing, at the time we we're already together for about 7 months. So one night we we're laying in bed on the phone just talking and I brought up the subject on fetishes, I asked her if she had any & what they we're & what she liked & what’s turned her on and all that good stuff so we we're going through all these different fetishes & talking about them. Then I brought up roll playing & then she was telling me how she had all these different costumes like a skanky nurse, fire girl, bunny, police girl with a short skirt & the last one she said she had was like a baby costume with a crop top that said "Got Milk?" & that’s where I stopped her. then I asked her to explain to me how it looked & everything & that’s when she said it had like a little dress like bottom & puffy panties kind of like a diaper but it wasn’t it just puffy & a little pink Crop top that just barely covered the bottom of her titties & it said Got Milk on it. Then I asked her would u wanna roll play lika a baby with me, like crawl around on the ground & call me your daddy & then pull my dick out & suck on it like your bottle & then she was like omg yess of course that would be fucken sexyy! & then I was like okay. Then we started getting into more detail with it & then after a few minutes of that I asked her would she put on a real diaper & she was like "A real one!" In her little squeaky voice. So I said Yess A real onee I think that would be cutee then she kind of thought about it for a min & then she was like okay ill do it for you, & I was like really? & she was like yeahh. Then I was like okayy. Then there was a pause for a min... Then I was like okay I have a fetish, But idkk... & she was Like what is it?!? & I kind of drug it on for a little bit until she was like begging me to tell her then I finally gave in. So we we're laying there & I was like okay okay okayy I’ll tell you. Then there was another short pause. Then I said "I wanna see your butt in a diaper, I think its cutee." & she was like wait whatt? So I was like yeahh I think it’s the cutest thing in the world. So she was like "To see me in a diaper?" & I was like yess. & she was like no really?!? Is u serious? & I was like "Yeah babyy I'm serious, I like it, and I think it’s the cutest fucken thing in the world. & she was like "No Bullshit, like really?" I was like yess really I swearr to god, I think it’s cute & I like it. Then she kind of got all exited & was like "Omgg you fucken kinkk!!" But in a good way & I could tell in the tone of her voice that she kind of liked the idea. So she agreed to wear one for me. But I haven’t told her about me at this point yet, and then I kind of got up & sat down at the computer talking to her. Then she was like Hella intrigued & she wanted to know more so she started asking me questions about it. Then I went out & had a cig while I was on the phone with her. That’s when I kind of started explaining the whole "ABDL" thing & what it was about & how it consist with diapers & roll playing. Then she told me she would call me back in a min that she was going to go do something real quickk so I was like okayy. Then she called me back & wanted to know everything about it & she wanted to get into it with me & experience this with me so I was like okay &I basically spilled my guts to her, like everything. Then a little while later I was like okay Guess what... & she was like whatt? & I was like what would u say if I was in a diaper right now? & she was like are you? & I was like yeahh & she squeaked & she liked it & thought it was completely adorable.
The next day She called me & said she did like 4 hours of research on it & she really wanted to be in this with me & I was happy as fuck to hear that so I was like okayy & she even put a diaper on for me & we sleep on the phone that night both in our "squishes" & that’s when everything started & from that day forward she like fell in love with this & now we're where we are now & you can go look at her profile & see how much she’s got into it & how far we've gone with this ;]
I think its like completely fucken amazing & I would never stop this for the world.
Want to talk to Baby J directly? Click it.
Coming Monday: More Baby J Photos...
...and Josh's letter to his family.
