I would estimate that 95% of my blog entries have to do with topics directly related to diapers. Probably even higher than that, actually.
Today's does not.
Today I am writing about something that I think is pertinent to my readers entering (or, at least, currently enrolled in) college.
And most of the advice I am about to give would be pertinent to anyone, diapers or no.
I hope that, if you're the target audience, you'll read this.
And no matter who you are, you'll share it with others.
You'll soon be able to link to http://CollegeAdvice.abysitter.com, and it will bring you right to this entry. So if you know college babies, or places that college-aged ABies and DLs congregate, hit them with the link.
Cwis
College Advice from Cwis
The first time I gave college advice to an ABDL was summer of 2006.
A young 18yo ABDL would be starting classes at the local university in a few weeks. We'd been talking online for a while, and had decided to make the jump to a phone call. We talked for more than an hour, about things diaper-related and things not. At some time during the course of the phone call, as it often does, my sitter side took over, my caregiver side. I decided to hit the kid with some college advice...
I wasn't sure how he'd take it. Some people are loathe to accept advice from people they do know, let alone people they only know online. Still, I had sensed some nervousness - or maybe even fear - on his part. I'd been through college. I had advice to give. So I decided to just go for it.
He listened, and thanked me for the advice. I wasn't sure if he'd really listened, or was just being polite. A few years later we'd get the chance to talk. During the course of our conversation he mentioned a specific piece of advice that I'd given, and told me that, to this day, he'd followed it.
"I did hear what you said, Chris" he told me. "And I listened..."
In between the time we'd had our conversation and the time we talked a few years later I'd had the chance to give similar advice to a number of other young ABDLs entering, or attending, college.
Some of you know what I'm talking about, because we've talked at length, and you've gotten the 'college conversation.'
Most of you welcomed it.
Some of you were probably just being polite.
Some of you took it and ran with it - and it showed in subsequent conversations. I've had collegebabies regularly text me with grades and other information so frequently I almost feel like a parent, there every step of the way. And enough of you have updated me sporadically that I know that the advice I've given has been more than helpful.
- There's my "li'l bro", in Texas. I helped him edit a college application essay, and gave him advice about taking advantage of internship opportunities. He's made me proud every step of the way, applying for and accepting internships I didn't even know existed. So proud of you bro...
- And a close friend in Los Angeles. He was a freshman when we first had "the talk" - and his freshman year was nothing to write home about. In the past three years he's focused on the goal like a laser, sending me picture messages of grades and class schedules. Last May he mailed me an invitation to graduation. Dope as fuck...
- Finally, someone I babysat during a visit to FL. Truthfully, I think he pretty much had his shit together before we even talked about college, but he made it a point to try to appear as though he didn't and, since the day we met, has called me to give me example after example of things he's done based on the advice I gave. Pretty good feeling every time the phone rings...
Others of you have struggled mightily. I know ABDLs who've dropped out of school, and others who are stretching out their college experience over so many years I'm starting to think that my record is in danger of being broken.
And I do hold the record.
Because, when I attended college, nobody gave me gangsta advice.
And I made every mistake known to man.
So the advice that I've given so many of you before today, and the advice I'll type out in this entry, is based on my mistakes, and not some misguided feelings of superiority.
Take my advice.
Or don't.
In the end, I already have my degree, and whether you take it or not doesn't really affect me.
But it could help you...
...and if you're ABDL and a reader of my blog, I care about you.
Our only contact thusfar may have been words on a website.
But trust when I say I am a real person. And my advice is real.
Here goes...
1. These four years could determine the course of the rest of your life.
If you are attending college, what you do now could literally determine what you do for the rest of your life. Don't forget that for a minute. If you're in college, do it right...
2. Invest in yourself...
Sounds like a cliche, right?
Whether your parents are paying for your schooling or you've taken out student loans, someone's made an investment in you.
It's up to you, now, to make an investment in yourself.
Make the most of every minute of this experience. Don't waste it.
Think of it like this...
You're at the airport and suddenly, out of nowhere, an old man pulls up to the curb in a shiny, brand new Cadillac. His brakes screech and he steps out and runs to you, holding the keys to the car.
"You seem like a trustworthy young man," he says to you. "I am going to miss my plane. Take this car, use it all week, but please be here one week from today to pick me up from the airport!"
What do you do?
- Some of my friends drive the car home, park it in the driveway, and play video games all week.
- Some of my friends take the car and drive to Miami for the week. Free gas, right? Time to have fun.
- One or two of my friends take that car to the suit store, buy the best suit they can find, and go job hunting. After all, they've got a Cadillac for a week... why not play it up to the max?
College is kind of like this.
If you're reading this in a dorm, you've been given an opportunity to better your life.
Don't waste it.
Which group would you fall into?
Sounds simple so far, right?
3. If you're going to party, do it in moderation.
I know plenty of college students - both in diapers and out of them - who view college as an opportunity to party.
These kids have been cooped up in Mom and Dad's for eighteen years. They've been just waiting for this chance to be freeeeee!
College is as much about growing up as it is about learning, right?
Many will go nuts.
They'll drink nightly, go to classes hung over (if at all), and talk of their college experience as "fun".
And it will be fun.
But the fun may be short-lived. And it may be at the expense of success, later.
Now, don't get me wrong... I'm definitely not suggesting that anyone avoid parties entirely.
Especially parties like the ones pictured above... go to all of those. ;)
But seriously: I'm definitely suggesting anyone who plans to take college seriously to avoid what's known as the party lifestyle.
If it's reached the level of a lifestyle, you've got a problem.
Some kids go to college, drink, party, and live the life.
Keyword: kids.
If you choose to do that, so be it.
But my advice is this.
You've got four years to handle your business, get a degree, and get the fuck out.
If you choose the right major and do this right, you'll have the chance to set yourself up with a pretty comfortable lifestyle. You can drink top-shelf liquor later. The alcohol will be flowing... you might even have a full bar in your home.
Binge drink whatever is on special at college bars now vs. set yourself up for a real party later?
The choice would be easy for me.
Please don't be one of these who pisses away this chance with last night's beer...
4. Don't be antisocial, either...
I recently read a post from a college freshman on my diaper Facebook. He was contemplating whether he wanted to go to a party or stay home. He posted:
"grr.. ther¨s a party at school and i donno if i
wanna go.. im not into drinking. don¨t like the taste of it :<. and
don¨t like to dance either. and im gay.. think i¨ll just stay home."
He later posted:
"im used to beeing a loner. but the first party is pretty much where they show their true colours =/. i might miss out.. i dunno"
I advised him to go, not drink, and get to know some people.
Part of the college experience is socializing.
We all have varying levels of social skills. Some of us are straight up social. Others are downright antisocial. Some of us have social anxiety disorder - we avoid crowds, and parties aren't our scene.
And in the ABDL community there's a real tendency for some of us to avoid socializing at all, using periods of regression as our reason. We're different from non-ABies/DLs, in that we have alter-ego's: infants, toddlers, or just diaper-wearing college kids. We use the time others might consider 'free time' to Pamper up. Party? Who has time?
But college is more than just going to class and putting a diaper on. It's meeting people, making friends, and networking.
Some of the friends you make in college might wind up being friends you'll have for the rest of your life.
After two or four years of college, you'll have forgotten about most of your high school friends.
But college friends... that'll be another story.
So if you have the opportunity to make new friends, take it. Even if you have to force yourself into a social situation you're not quite comfortable with.
If you don't like the taste of beer, don't drink.
If you don't know how to dance, don't dance.
But get out there and make some new friends...
Now let's get into some academics...
5. Pick a major and focus on that shit like a laser.
A lot of college students have no idea what they want to major in when they get to school. That's pretty normal, actually. And if you're among them, it's all good. In fact, a lot of people will tell you not to even worry about it. Just go to school... take some classes in different subjects.... take a year or two to figure out what you want to major in.
I can't tell you how many times I heard the statistic: (insert % here) students don't even pick their major until junior (or senior, even) year!
LOL.
It's cool if you don't know what you want to do as a freshman.
But if you do know, you're ahead of the curve.
And that's a good place to be.
Why?
These days, what you do in the four years you're in college will have a huge impact on what you do after. You'll be leaving college and entering one of the worse job markets in our nation's history. You'll be competing for jobs against people with degrees, and often against displaced workers who already have experience in the job market.
Students who leave college with practical, real-world experience have a huge jump on students who don't.
And that comes with four years of laser-focused coursework, internships, and networking.
If you don't know what you want to do freshman year, don't panic.
But don't wait to decide. Figure that shit out, and start doing it.
6. GPA Matters. Another regret I have is not being able to focus on my studies as much as I should have.
I once had a college advisor who told me I was like a Cadillac he'd once owned.
"You're an eight-cylinder student, Chris" he told me - "trying to get by on six cylinders..."
Yup.
I
had an excuse: in my early 20s I was raising my "little brother" - who
was on electronic home confinement and felony probation at the time.
Between court dates and probation visits, plus the shit that comes with
having a little teen hoodlum in your home, I was stretched to the max.
And while I wouldn't trade what I did for anything, if I could start my
life over I'd figure out a way to stop my brother from breaking the
law.
If I had been able to focus 100% on school, my GPA would have been much higher.
But even then, I wasn't aware of how important GPA actually is.
And today it's much, much more
important. In this job market, companies that never before looked
closely at your GPA are looking now. It may be the deciding factor in a
job offer.
Not everyone is a 4.0 student.
But you want to be as close to 4.0 as you can be.
That starts day one in college. It's not like high school, when your freshman year doesn't really mean shit. Freshman year means shit in college;
every single grade you earn is compiled and averaged to make up your
GPA, and potential employers will ask for your GPA and, in many cases,
your college transcripts (all your grades) before they decide
whether you're hire-worthy. That class you got a D in because you blew
off the classes? That counts.
4.0? Dope as fuck.
3.5? Not too shabby.
3.0? Hmm... okay...
2.9 or below? Ouch...
2.5? Damn.
1.95? Good luck, stupid. You'd better be cute as fuck... heh.
A few tips. As basic as they
seem, I know from experience (my own and some of yours) these aren't as
common-sense as they might seem:
- Go to class. Don't skip.
- Take notes.
- If there are assignments, do them when they're assigned - not last minute like I did.
- Study. Put on a Pamper and, instead of surfing RUPadded, read a schoolbook.
- Study, seriously. Every minute you spend studying is an investment in your GPA.
- Find the 'student learning center' - and get help for any class you're not likely to get a 3.0 in.
- If you find that you're struggling in any class,
and the above doesn't seem to help, go talk to the instructor. The time
to do this isn't just before the final. You want to do it way before that. But even if you've put it off 'til last minute... do it.
If I asked you to send me your grades at the end of each semester - and some of y'all do haha - what would I see?
Make sure you're doing well, right from the beginning.
7. Internships, internships, internships.
When I told my "little bro" to do as many internships as possible, I had no idea how seriously he'd take it. Most college students wait til junior or senior year to start doing internships. This kid started looking for one freshman year. WTF? He's a senior now, and he's already done internships with three companies and a charity.
That's real-world experience. A fucking resume before he even graduates. And I wouldn't be surprised if one of the companies he's interned for winds up hiring him full-time after he graduates.
The best part is, he spent whole school years looking and, as a result, wasn't forced to settle.
Unpaid internships are everywhere. And they are valuable as FUCK.
But my boy managed to find paid internships.
One paid more than a damn summer job. And included housing expenses. WTF?
Internships are even more important now than they were when I was in college. Not doing internships in college is one of my biggest regrets, and is probably the reason I preach them so emphatically now.
So what is an internship?
Internships are positions - most unpaid, some paid - companies offer specifically to college students. They benefit the company by offering it free (or cheap) labor - labor that tends to be highly-motivated (college students often are trying to prove themselves).
Accounting firms offer internships to accounting majors. Public relations firms offer internships to communications majors. Many, many companies offer internships to a variety of majors. Some are set up through colleges and universities, and others are offered by companies on their websites or job search websites.
Find them.
Apply.
Trust me: if you want to leave college with real-world experience, connections in your field of study, and maybe (just maybe) a job offer, do as many internships as you can.
Don't sleep on the opportunity to to leave college with your resume already partly put together.
[NOTE: I've reached out to a few college students I know do internships and asked them to hit me with some sources for them. I'll paste those links here soon.]
8. Get Advisement. Most colleges will assign a professor or instructor as your official advisor.
Get to know that person well.
See them twice a semester, at a minimum: at the start of the semester once you've attended every class at least once or twice; and when it comes time to choose your classes.
You want to meet with your advisor at the start of the semester because you want him or her to be fully aware of the classes you are taking. He can offer tips and suggestions, and he'll already have an idea of what's up with you academically should you start having trouble.
You want to meet with your advisor again when classes for the next semester are announced. Your advisor will know exactly what classes are required for your major, and can help you map what classes you need next.
Advisement is included in your tuition, and you are paying for it. Use it. And if you get a suck-ass advisor who acts like meeting with students is beneath him, like I did at first, go to your department chair and get a new one.
If you haven't seen your advisor yet this semester, make an appointment now.
9. Enroll In Classes First - So You Don't Get Stuck With The Worst. Colleges are cutting staff left and right in this economy - and that means classes are more crowded, and fewer are offered.
I've talked to a few students already this semester who are pissed because they got closed out of classes already.
Don't be one of them next semester.
Consult your academic calendar. Find out when registration opens. Meet with your advisor before that date. And be ready to be among the first to register.
This one is super easy. Don't slack, boys... get it, get it.
10. What Am I Forgetting? I'll be adding to this as time goes on. If you can think of anything I've forgotten, please email me at abysitter@gmail.com. I'll be writing an entirely different entry on diapers in college later this month, so if you have any feedback for me on that front, hit me up!
Last Thing...
Please...
Don't Fuck Up Your Credit
Before You've Even Begun?
Don't fuck up your credit before you've even begun...
This one is almost as important as all of the ones above. And it's particularly important to college students, so I'm including it in this entry. Eventually I'll expand on it and make it an entry of its own...
If you're like most college students you've had eighteen or more years of living at home and having every bill paid by Mom and Dad. You've probably never paid a bill before. You don't have credit, positive or negative. Yet.
By enrolling in college, you've just made yourself a huge, huge target for all kinds of companies that want your money and will fuck up your credit to get it.
The decisions you make now will have a huge impact on the rest of your life...
First, a little about credit.
Everyone in America has what's known as a credit score. Some people call it a FICO score, but there are actually three major credit bureaus that rate your credit worthiness based on a number of factors and assign you a score. These factors include things like how many credit cards you have, whether you pay them on time on a regular basis, and whether you've had any accounts (for any types of bills) sent to collection agencies.
Your credit score is important as fuck.
It may not mean much in college, but later in life it will mean a shit ton.
Your score will determine your quality of life.
Take the car you will drive, for example. College students usually aren't thinking that far ahead - many have parents who've bought them cars, or gifted them hand-me-down vehicles, and they don't think of the next car they'll need. But they should...
A car buyer with an excellent credit score will most likely qualify for the types of car loans you see advertised on television. A 0.0% interest rate, a big fat rebate. They'll basically pay you to drive a new car off the car lot. Let's say you wind up paying $199/month for your typical auto.
A car buyer with a fair credit score won't fare as well. He'll still be able to get a new car, but it won't be with zero interest. It might be 5% or more. He'll pay an extra $49.75 every month for the same car.
A car buyer with poor credit will have trouble getting a loan. If he can secure financing, he'll pay more than 5% interest. He may pay 10%, 12%, 15%, or more - up to the legal limit in the state he's buying a car in. I know someone who pays 20% interest - that's practically loan shark rates. He's paying double what the person with excellent credit is paying - for the same car. Double. All because of a credit score.
That's bad enough, but most major insurance companies run a credit check. If you have excellent credit, you'll get a great rate. Poor credit? Expect to pay a shitload.
The same comes to furniture - will you buy the latest leather living room set or rent some shitty second-hand bedbug-ridden furniture from Aaron's?
When you start looking for a home, will you be able to secure a mortgage to buy a house? Or will you have trouble getting approved for a lease on an apartment?
Your credit score will determine all of this.
I'm well aware that, for a lucky few of you, none of this will matter. I have ABDL friends who have wealthy parents, parents who will pay for that first car, co-sign for that mortgage - even a friend whose parents bought him his house.
But that's not most of us.
Most of us are self-made.
If you consider yourself in the self-made category, you're making yourself right now.
Don't fuck up your credit already...
A. Do NOT get a credit card. The single-most way to fuck up your credit is to get a credit card, charge some shit, and fail to pay. This is a huge, huge problem amongst college students.
First off, college students are virtual magnets for credit card offers. Credit card companies target college students, even partnering with colleges - your university gets a cut to victimize you. And they do this for one reason: college students will rack up big bills, and parents often pay them.
Maybe your parents will pay off your credit card debt. But for many college students whose parents refuse or simply can't pay, your credit is f-u-c-k-e-d. Credit bureaus track how much you owe, how often you pay, how late you pay, and how much of the amount you owe you pay. If any of these things aren't to their liking, boom. Peace out, good credit...
B. Thinking of getting a credit card so you can build good credit? Think again. It's true that obtaining a credit card, making small purchases, and paying off your balance on time every month can have a positive outcome on your credit score. It's also true that a very, very small percentage of college students manage to do this.
If you know, 100%, that you are one of the most responsible kids ever in your age bracket, this strategy might be for you.
But if you have any doubt - any at all - and feel that you might be susceptible to the trap that has befallen so many before you, don't do it.
Once you pay a payment late, you can't undo that.
No job? Don't get a credit card.
Go debit, and don't overdraft. Spend only what you have.
Even if your college offers you some sweet-looking deal with your university logo on the card - don't do it.
Please... no credit cards, bro.
C. Don't get a wireless phone you can't afford. My phone bills are nuts. Between my iPhone, a Mi-Fi hotspot, two additional iPhones (don't ask), and my toll-free and fax services, I pay approximately $375/month. For phones. WTF?
I justify this by charging these bills against the money I make working PR jobs on the side. But there are days that I seriously examine my finances and try to figure out whether I can live without the Mi-Fi, lose one of those lines, drop my minutes down, or get rid of the toll-free.
Everyone wants an iPhone. And, from the mirror shots I see, most abies seem to have one.
Some of y'all have parents who are just generous with their plans.
Others, though... not so lucky.
I've talked to enough of you to know that some of you have gone down to AT&T, Verizon, or Sprint. They've run your credit and let you know that you'll have to pay a deposit - the consequence of limited credit - which you gladly coughed up. You walked out of the store with your new iPhone, not expecting that first bill would include activation fees ($36 with AT&T), pro-rated charges (sometimes nearly two months worth of service), and other fees. You thought you were getting unlimited everything for $69.99, huh? When that first bill came, you found out differently - and when you couldn't pay, and they tacked on a $40 reconnection fee, you saw your wireless bills start getting out of control...
I can think of five people within our community who once had wireless phones, but now have wireless balances placed with collection agencies. One wireless company just placed more than a billion dollars in wireless bill debts with a collection agency, many of them young people. True, that iPhone works as an iPod Touch, but what the fuck? You're left with a paperweight, outstanding bills, and an early termination fee of up to $350 per phone.
And a fucked up credit score.
Get something you can afford. Go prepaid. MetroPCS. Cricket. GoPhone. You can even get an iPhone, prepaid, with Virgin now.
If you don't have an income, you have no business buying a smartphone with a plan.
Don't fuck up your credit because you made a purchase you didn't understand or couldn't afford.
D. Pay your fucking bills. On time. And make a budget. This one is simple. I know, both from my job and from talking with some of y'all, that many college students have zero concept of bills. They don't know what they owe, they don't know when they owe it, and they often don't make payments until shit is suspended (phones) or about to be repossessed (cars).
Many companies report directly to credit bureaus. You pay late, your credit score goes down. Cause, effect. And only you can stop that.
Make a budget. Know how much you're taking in (jobs, parental allowance, financial aid), and make sure your bills (cell phone, car insurance, etc.) and other expenses (groceries, clubbing, gas, diapers) are all less than the amount you're taking in. Make your budget monthly, and go out a few months. (Mine goes out til 2014).
Like so:
9/1/2012 Paycheck: $750.00
9/4/2012 Diapers: $125
9/4/2012 Cell Phone: $75
9/8/2012 GEICO: $200
9/11/2012 Groceries: $100
9/13/2012 Bar Tab: $35
TOTAL PAYCHECK: $750
TOTAL EXPENSES: $535.00
DIFFERENCE: $215.00
See how it works?
I have friends, both diapered and out of diapers, who have budgets that look more like this:
9/1/2012: Paycheck: $750.00
A Whole Lot of Expenses
Seriously... if you get your paycheck and just spend it, you're fucking up.
Make a budget.
E. If you can, save some dough.
This one's simple.
If you have the opportunity, bank a little.
If you put away $10/week over four years of college, you leave school with $2K plus interest - that's a downpayment on a car.
If you can really bank some dough, you've got the downpayment on a house.
Don't spend every penny.
If you're one of my
collegebabies
(or college DL's)
I want to hear from you.
Email me:
Let me know how you're doing
academically, financially, socially...
whatever...
...and stay in touch.
And, to everyone...
please share this entry if you know
a college-aged ABDL.
Share links are below,
or just point them to
