[CWIS'S NOTE] Up today I have a Q&A with Shadow. You may know him from his Tumblr. He also entered my #Abysitter1mil Photo Contest - you can see his entry below, or here - and he won a ticket to the West Coast Jungle Gym.
Want to do a Q&A and share your ABDL story with the community? Email me at abysitter@gmail.com and put "Q&A" in the subject, I'll reply with the Q&A questions. 18+
Want to do a Q&A and share your ABDL story with the community? Email me at abysitter@gmail.com and put "Q&A" in the subject, I'll reply with the Q&A questions. 18+
Q&A With Shadow
Name/Nick: Shadow
Age: 28/2
City/State/Country: Austin, TX
AB/DL/BabyFur/Other? AB
When did you first realize you were ABDL?
I realized I was into the ABDL scene when I was very young. I remember when I was about 6 years old having a fascination with diapers. I took my first real plunge into it when I bought a pack of Goodnites at the age of 13. Then started to explore the internet to figure out if I was alone it it. When I was a kid, and playing house with people, I would always want to be the baby... There were just plenty of signs it was what I was.
What steps did you take to get your diaper 'fix' as a child and/or teen?
I was home a lot a lot as a kid. My family worked a ton, and I had a lot of the house to myself outside of school. Besides having very few friends, I spent a lot of time at home alone. So, I was sneaky and went to the store and bought some Goodnites and hid them in my room.
Do your parents and/or siblings know about you and diapers? If so, please explain how, and how they reacted?
I remember my dad finding a pack of diapers when I was 14. He absolutely freaked out and sent me to a physiologist. From then on he would do random room checks, which just meant I had to get better at hiding them. I remember hiding them behind the speaker of a sub-woofer in my room.
Have you dealt with the shame and regret that is the binge/purge cycle? Please explain.
I’ve never really had a purge cycle. I’ve always been into diapers and knew it wasn’t going to go away. Though I have thought about giving it all up, I have never gone that far.
How has this fetish affected your social life and/or dating?
It was weird when I was with my first long term boyfriend... he was very vanilla and not so into kink or fetish stuff, so I seldom ever brought any of it up. After he broke up with me, I decided I was going to me more open about it. I’ve told most of my friends and they have all been so amazing about it. They all basically have said “awww that’s so cute!” Or “ you do whatever makes you happy! That’s really no big deal”.
Some experts believe that we become the way we are because of traumas experienced at an early age, including abuse and/or neglect. Do your life experiences bear this out?
I will say, I had an amazingly hard life as a child. I was born in a prison because both my mom and dad were arrested for running a meth lab. I was then sent to live with my grandma. I was with her until I was about 5, when my dad got out and came to live with us. I didn’t meet my mom until I was 9 years old. And she told me she didn’t want me to live with her because she couldn’t deal with me and my brother both. I was the loser and outcast at school and didn’t have any friends until high school, so I had to grow up quick and be on my own. I never felt like I was loved, cared for, or had family. Entirely probably that’s why I want to be a baby and nurtured and feel like I’m loved.
Do your interests involve a subset of this community, such as babyfurs, diaper disciplinarians, wet/messy, sissybabies etc.? Please tell us about it. I won't even try to be specific here; just tell us what you think people should know.
I’m kinda exploratory in all of it. I am definitely into wearing 24/7 and wetting/messing. I have had some fun and enjoy being a sissy sometimes, and love being forced to wear and use them. I enjoy just learning new things and trying different things. Very open to life.
What % of your sexual activities and/or masturbation incorporate diapers? Has this caused problems for you?
I would say around 80% involves diapers. Whether with someone, or by myself. And even if I’m not wearing, I’m thinking about them. I will say, there have been several encounters with other guys that didn’t know about my interests in diapers, that I have kinda started thinking about diaper stuff with the guy to get things moving along... I do think that a future partner would absolutely need to indulge me in the fetish side of it, if not the entire lifestyle.
I do love to regress down to my little age. I like to watch cartoons, I like to play with legos. I will get cereal and sit it on the bed scattered around and eat them while watching tv. In normal life, I’m a very loud and bouncy person, but when I regress, I get very shy and kind of quiet.
Don't let yourself be limited by my questions. If you have anything else at all that you would like to say please feel free to say it here:
I want people to know more about the ABDL world. And just to preface... It’s really hard to categorize everyone into this but this has just been my experience thus far. I’m just gonna give some bio about myself. Now, I’m a larger guy... I’m 6’4” and weigh about 240. Am I obese? Nah, just a bigger guy. I wear large diapers typically, and I do fit in mediums. Just like the feel of large diapers more. I’m super self-conscious about my stature and have stopped myself from meeting people because I’m nervous I’m not gonna be good enough. There have been two people I’ve come across in my life that upon meeting them, they have said “oh... your pictures must be older... you look, a lot bigger...” and other things of that nature. I will say it’s extremely hard to be in the position I’m in. I want to feel little, and be little, and I’m just not. I know there is a stigma in the community that puts the thinner and smaller people kind of on a pedestal. And though I have accepted what I am, and have met some amazing people that accept me for me, and even have made me feel small... it is still hard to navigate the and find what I’m looking for. Just know this... We are all deserving of love, and we all deserve to find that person that makes you feel how you want to feel. Don’t ever give up on what you dream to do, and know that there are people in the world that will love you unconditionally. Whatever you look for, and whatever you need, don’t ever give up on that dream.
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