[CWIS'S NOTE] Up today I have a guest entry from Champ. Champ has written guest entries for Abysitter.com before - he wrote an introductory guest entry last year, as well as a guest entry on puppy play. Many of you are readers of his Tumblr blog, http://lilboychamp.tumblr.com/, which features all-original writings on a variety of topics, and lots of cute Champ pics, too.
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Champ here.
Having a little bit about my experiences
growing up with a diaper fetish, I'd like to talk about my experiences after
2004, when I turned 18 and went to college.
It was in college that I finally
found the freedom to buy and wear diapers as I pleased - no need to simply
dream, or to make do with 10 pairs of underwear or other makeshift remedies
anymore. I spotted my first chance to
wear real diapers in the student store just outside my dorms. I was paranoid at first; even passing them in
the aisle made me nervous. But one night
my desire became greater than my fear and I decided to go for it. I entered the store, waited until there was
no line at the register, and grabbed the diapers. I stuttered, I shook, my heart raced through
the whole process of buying them, but I got them. I was so happy to have real baby
diapers! They even had stretchy sides
and cute sesame street characters on the front.
At first I would only jack off in them, and as soon as I got off I would
lose all interest in them and remove them.
Before long, I decided to try to wet them. I tried thinking of running water, I tried to
bear down, I even tried sitting on the toilet while thinking of water and
bearing down, but try as I might I could not pee with a diaper on.
Eventually, after much suffering, I was able
to release a stream while standing if I closed my eyes and pretended I was
peeing into the toilet. I actually stood
in front of the toilet and hold my hand in front of my crotch like I was
peeing, if you can imagine. A couple of
months later I got a pack of Goodnites from the grocery store. At night I would lay in bed across from my
room mate and try to pee in my diaper, but again, no matter what position I
took it seemed as if I couldn't wet. It
took a long time before I could actually wet my diaper in bed without having to
get on my hands and knees and strain for a good quarter of an hour. One day my room mate asked me if I wore
depends. "What?" was all I
managed to get out before he quickly changed the subject, saying "Never
mind." That was be the first of
many hints I would get from room mates telling me that they were on to me. But what could I do? No matter how many times I tried to get rid
of them, my diaper desires always came back and overpowered my fear of getting
caught.
As I've said before, accepting that I had
this desire was not hard. I had always
felt this way, just as I had always been attracted to boys. But accepting that I would act on my desires
was a different story. Like anything, however, the more you do it the easier it
becomes and by my sophomore year I was ordering bulk shipments of diapers to my
dorms. Nobody ever asked what was in the
packages and I always had a space in my closet for a stash. In this way I got to know all the great
premium diapers I enjoy today. At first
I was only turned on by baby diapers, but eventually I saw the sense in trying
diapers which would actually fit properly - and not the ones that come apart at
the seams like Goodnites and other pull ups.
Once I tried adult diapers, I was hooked. I never got discovered in college because I
was very careful, but there were a few close calls. One day I decided to get some plastic pants. After they arrived I started wearing them
over my diapers at night. My room mate
sophomore year was always masturbating when he thought I wasn't looking. At night he would always jack off in the bed
across from me. Little did he know that,
while he was doing his stealth jerk, I was secretly crinkling in ecstasy under
my covers. Then one morning we were
sitting next to each other chatting in front of our computers.
By this time I had realized that as long
as I had baggy pants and loose shirts on, no one would be the wiser when I wore
in public. I wore them to parties, I wore
them to class, I didn't wear them all the time but when I did I loved it. Still, sometimes I'd get a little paranoid
and on this particular day I was still feeling insecure about wearing a thick
diaper under my clothes. So we were
chatting, and I was squatting with my feet on the chair when I lost by
balance. I fell onto my back and my legs
opened wide, throwing my padded butt right in front of my room mate's
face. At the same time the air was rent
by a loud CRINKLE. For a moment, it seemed like time froze. The room was silent, I was left speechless,
and both our eyes got as big as saucers.
Then we continued on chatting as if nothing happened. I always wondered if he really heard it or
not, but I guess I'll never know. It's
never been clear with my room mates just what they knew and what they
didn't. Once a room mate pointedly used
diapers to replace widgets when explaining to me how businesses calculate costs
when one buys whole sale. Another room
mate lent me Truman Capote's novella, Breakfast at Tiffany's, telling me
that I should find it very 'interesting'.
In it the protagonist becomes infatuated with a certain Holly
Golightly. Holly Golightly's sugar
daddy, so we come to learn, has a diaper fetish as well as a clear AB
bent. This was set in the 40's so you
can see that the ABDL fetish is nothing new to those with a little worldly
knowledge. Do you suppose that is what
he meant when he said I'd like the story?
Whether or not they knew, no one pushed me on the subject, and I never
brought it up. And that's just how
things were.
For six years I wore on and off, going
through periods of wearing often, then not at all. I went through the binge and purge cycle like
everyone else several times, ultimately ending with my last purge cycle when I
moved back home from San Francisco. Hey,
it was free rent, can ya blame me? At
the end of college, I threw out my diapers and sex toys thinking I could never
risk getting caught doing something 'naughty' in my family home. Did I have amnesia? Had I forgotten puberty and the hijinks that
ensued therein? Well, lo and behold, it
wasn't long before I started wearing again.
I'd go for months without wearing but the desire would come back. I might spend 6 months out of diapers but it
helped to have a diaper or two in my closet, just to know they were there if I
needed them. Once the diaper dreams
came, I knew it was time to wear again and I would. And every time I did, it would be for a
little longer.
Aside from a friend I diapered once in
high school, I had never shared this interest with anyone. I finally met a DL couple my first Summer
back from college and would hang out and watch television in tee shirts and
diapers frequently. One of them even
diapered me once or twice, but I've written an account of my first diapering
elsewhere. You know that pup photo from
my last article? Yeah, that was at their
house. Sadly they moved away soon after
we met and a year passed without any hope or thought of meeting other diaper
wearers. And then one day I ran across
ADBL Daddy's blog. The ABDL spectrum is
surprisingly wide, and everyone has their own approach to it so I was very
happy to see things from the perspective of this particular daddy, as opposed
to some of the unrelatable media/talk show snippets that I'd seen on
youtube. His take on the whole AB/Daddy
relationship actually made sense in a way that opened up my understanding of
the baby/daddy dynamic and got me interested in the idea of participating in such
a scene. At least, I thought, I should
try to meet others into diapers.
This was a long way from the time when I
thought no one could ever know or accept my DL side. In September, I got an account on RU Padded
and the first thing I noticed was that a lot of people had the phrase 'Stay padded'
on their profile. I thought about it and
thought '...You know I think I will stay padded!' I also put a few photos up of myself in my
depends, just so my profile wasn't empty.
I began to wear daily and within a week of joining, I decided to shoot
for full time, just to see how long I could last. Meanwhile I was running out of my second or
third pack of depends and, realizing that if was gonna be on this diaper kick
for a while, I decided it was time to go big or go bust. So at the beginning of October, less than a
week after I started shooting for full time, I got four cases of my favorite
diapers: Abenas, Molicares and
Tranquilities - 300 diapers total. And
wouldn't you know it, by the wonders of our postal system all of the diapers
arrived the very next day. Well, as you can imagine, 300 diapers is a hard fit
for anyone's closet. After some thought,
I took that little phrase I had encountered to heart and decided to see if I
could 'Stay Padded' through all 300 diapers without stopping. Before, the only thing that had stopped me
from lasting more than a week in diapers was my own fear. Maybe, I thought, I didn't want to know just how much I loved
diapers. Maybe I enjoyed them more than
I should. But after joining RUP, I found that people were
enjoying my photos, which only made me want to wear and share more. I started writing about my experiences and
getting more encouragement, and even met people who were in happy relationships
with other ABDL's or accepting partners.
For the first time, I could imagine a day in which I will be able to
share all of who I am with some special person or people.
Now, although I talk about the decision
to go full time in a fairly casual manner, I do not take it lightly. It took me 8 years to even accept that, yes,
I might like diapers that much. But once I was ready, it only took me 10 days
to fully assimilate diapers into my normal daily routine. It is a slow process of acceptance, it comes
in stages, and I can honestly say that this is the first time I've felt
completely comfortable with my choice of underwear. This was greatly helped by my decision to
wear full time and the adjustments I had to make in my life to accommodate this
change. At the end of December, I had
successfully completed the 300 diaper challenge, and believe me it was a
challenge. And what did I learn? I learned that I wasn't going to be going
full time in the future without the 'gentle persuasion' of a big bro or daddy
to help me along. I learned that
although they may not share my interests, non-abdls can accept them and some
even find them cute. I learned that I'll
never get sick of diapers no matter how much I wear - in fact going full time
has actually increased the frequency and enjoyment of diapers in my
post-challenge life. And finally, after
everything, I finally began meeting other ABDLs over the month of January and
having some of the most fun I've ever had without breaking the law.
Where this will go when all is said and
done I can not say, but after everything I've gone through, I can safely say
that when I grow up [into a fully self-confident diaper lover], I'm gonna rock
this diaper thing. No doubt. I've been wearing 8 years no so what the
hell. Here's to 8 more years in
diapers! Until next time, STAY PADDED!
-Champ
Again, if you like what you've read, check out Champ's ABDL blog, http://lilboychamp.tumblr.com/ for much, much more.
