I should note that Windman has set the record for longest response to a Q&A. Also, I have not edited it for content or length. Finally, when he says 'boys', he does mean ABDLs 18+; the legal age is 18+ in SA as it is in many places. (I do occasionally get emails from people in countries for whom the legal age is lower than 18, inquiring about submitting stories etc., and I have to be clear that my standard is 18+, everywhere).
Enjoy!
Q&A with Windman
Name/Nick: Windman or Uncle
Chris
Age: Very close to the nasty side of forty
City/State/Country: South Africa, that dark troubled country at the southern tip of Africa
AB/DL/BabyFur/Other? Non wearing Daddy
The questions are:
• When did you first realize you were ABDL?
Age: Very close to the nasty side of forty
City/State/Country: South Africa, that dark troubled country at the southern tip of Africa
AB/DL/BabyFur/Other? Non wearing Daddy
The questions are:
• When did you first realize you were ABDL?
I don’t remember much about when I was young but a few things do pop
out. I was five years old, older friends were visiting us (they had two kids :
one boy, one girl both older than me by a bit), the boys whose name I can
longer spell is laying on the floor clutching a teddy bear, his head in my lap
and is calling me Mommy. That’s how it
started. “Call me Mommy but don’t let the adults hear you.” Guess it was the
start of my twisted personality.
Skip ahead a few years and two friends are coming for a sleep over. They
arrive we chat and the one tells me he wants a bed time story. Instant
attention grabber. And oh boy, he had this blonde hair and angel face that
could melt the devil himself without a whiff of resistance.
For me the desire to turn boys into babies has never begun or ended. It has always just been a constant need and the ultimate way to distress and truly relax. It is not so much sexual for me but a boy in diapers can be very sexy but it is more like soul food.
I know that sounds incredibly corny but there is nothing else I would
rather do than take care of boy or men who want to be babied.
I must point out I don’t wear diapers and have never had the desire to
do so.
I don’t find it disgusting or weak
but it just isn’t for me. The way I feel God willing one day I will be
terminally ill, in a permanent twilight zone where my mind has long since left
the earth and then I may need to wear a diaper until then, no matter how many
times I need to get up to piss during the night, no matter how sick I am, no
matter how unpleasant it maybe for me or anyone else it simply remains I don’t
wear diapers.
Once I’m stuck on something and I know I’m in the right I also don’t
take no for an answer no matter how much drama it causes. And believe me, in my
life, the fact that I believe in being good and honest and like to do the right
thing has caused major hassles for me.
• What
steps did you take to get your diaper 'fix' as a child and/or teen?
Ha Ha, during my teenage years I was too busy making sure I was crapped on by peers to even think about diapering a boy. I never wrote it down, thought it or let my mind even go there.
Ha Ha, during my teenage years I was too busy making sure I was crapped on by peers to even think about diapering a boy. I never wrote it down, thought it or let my mind even go there.
The ironic thing was that I was infamous for diapering the boys who came
over for my sleep over all those years before. One day in a class the teacher
handed us dictionaries and said “Look up the word infamous.”
It was a big laugh. We all joked about famous for the wrong reasons.
Little did I know that the joke was on me.
• Do your parents and/or siblings know about you and diapers? If so, please explain how, and how they reacted?
W t f are you crazy ?
South Africans are very conservative and traditional. Most women over a
certain age won’t admit to know what a blow job is, let alone ever consider
giving one.
When I grew it was a scandal for anyone to kiss who wasn’t married.
During much of my early years the shops closed at noon on a Saturday and
nothing besides a corner café was allowed to open until Monday morning.
There was ONE movie a week on TV and that was on a Saturday night. South
Africa had one national broadcaster for jonks. Two nights a week there were
television programmes on in English and anything adult was kept for after nine
pm when my generation had no chance of watching it.
At best we only heard gossip about mature show. Back in those days a
raunchy picture of woman was one in which she was wearing a long sleeve blouse
and a skirt down to her ankles.
There was one magazine called Scope that photographs of ladies in their
underwear and bikinis. Sometimes you would see a photograph of a topless woman
but she would ALWAYS have stars over her nipples.
The only way to get adult magazines and porn movies was to buy them
overseas and smuggle them through customs at the airport.
So back to your question, when I was growing up my step father said he
would kill any of his sons who even considered wearing a pink shirt. We were
not allowed to mention the term in GAY in any sense even if we meant as being
gay or happy.
It would have gotten us killed.
My Mom once told me that if any of her uncles had ever been suspected of
being gay he would have met with an accident. And it would be the kind of
accident where there were no get well cards and the police politely looked the
other way without asking too many questions.
To put that in terms of where most South Africa adult babies, diaper
loves and guys with a diaper fetish are today, that is most likely what will
happen to any of us who get caught. A convenient fatal accident.
To date there only about sixteen South African on all the diaper
websites. Of all the people I have ever known only two guys have shown their
faces on the internet.
Part of who I am is a teaser. Needless to say when I told a guy I had
turned into an adult baby to check the local birth announcements of the SA papers
he almost had a heart attack but I would never dare do it.
I have babied a few guys and wish to set the record straight. Despite
what a certain brainless, one ball wonder has said about me on diaper-bois I have never told anyone’s parents that
they have a diaper fetish or are an adult baby.
It just isn’t my style. I respect guys in the community way too much to
anything like that.
If I like a boy and get to know him I may tease him about his folks finding
out but there is a fine line between teasing someone and them knowing it and
actually being a big enough bitch to cause some grief.
So one ball wonder, you know who you are and the reason your Mom found
out your wear diapers is because you are not the sharpest tool in the shed and
using her employees PCs to visit the diaper websites and not knowing how to
remove your tracks is plain stupid.
Don’t blame other people like me.
• Have you dealt with the shame and regret that is the binge/purge cycle? Please explain.
Since I don’t wear diaper the honest answer is no.
There was a stage when I got fed up with the guys and the constant
bullshit I was fed online and declared “I am going to go out and get a girl
pregnant and never blacken these doors again” but in all honesty the desire to
nurture is way too strong to be fought.
It is part of who I am and always has been. I’ve given up fighting it.
My Mom has always been obsessed with babies. A baby enters the room and
demon woman takes over. Given that I have always had access to women’s and
family magazines. I have schooled myself in everything I can find out about
real babies and most if applies to adults.
Now that I have a kindle I can safely read stuff without anyone ever
knowing or suspecting a thing. Of course the fact that I can always eavesdrop
on mothers as they discuss their kids, their pregnancies and the issue they
face with babies and kids always helps.
On the rare occasion I hear something I don’t know too much about I log
onto Chrome, go incognito and research everything I can find.
I have said it before : being an adult baby doesn’t make you weak in any
way.
It takes a lot more guts to be submissive and let someone else call the
shots than it ever will to be leader.
Babies who are comfortable with who they are and accept themselves as
productive successful people have my utmost respect.
• For
collegebabies/DLs, did this interest affect your college experiences? If so,
how?
I was in school before the internet. It was only as I was finishing up my studies that I accidently stumbled across DPF.
I was in school before the internet. It was only as I was finishing up my studies that I accidently stumbled across DPF.
Looking back I was so stupid. I never knew how to set up my own private
email account and came so close to being caught.
It took many years of fighting before I had my own modem and internet
connection. This particular issue cost me a cracked rib and more shit, drama
and tears than there was money to buy toilet paper to clean it all up with.
As fate would have it I won a biological lottery in my early twenties
and my entire life changed. I was drugged out of my mind for no good reason and
no one truly cared as long as they could get on with their lives.
I am not disabled but I do have a condition for which I take a pill. It
is a non-issue for me and I think of it like this : some people have high blood
pressure, some are allergic to milk or
eggs. It doesn’t make you weak it just makes you unique.
I do the same things tons of other people do but for years my family
have been f-in around with my life and my pills. Denying me it when I knew I
needed and drugging and forcing me to take extra medication because it was
convenient for them and they only had their best interest at heart.
To anyone out there who feels stuck because you can’t drive, can’t find
a nice job or your family has refused to let you do anything for yourself I
want to say : I understand. Ditto!
Some families work but a lot of them abuse their collective power.
Don’t be ashamed because you wear diapers and are young at heart. Don’t
flaunt it either but there is no need to cower your life away because society
refuses to try and understand us.
Their ignorance is their issue that they will be judge for it one day.
Don’t make it yours.
The expression of love and caring is the most the powerful thing that
has ever existed since Adam bit into the apple. How we love has changed over
the decades and will continue to change as society exchanges ideas over this
young immature thing called the World Wide Web.
To those of who are younger than twenty five, time is going to fly by
and you have to decide right now : who are you trying to please in life ?
Society or yourself.
Diapers are a sexual private thing. Common senses says to keep it that
way but don’t let society tell you what to do in the privacy of your own space
behind a locked door where you are harming no one and it is none of their
business in the first place.
Baby Brett was on Dr. Phil a while back and I have to say I admire his
balls. I wish there more adult babies out there who know what they want and are
willing to do something about it.
Mr or Mrs Right is never going to come knocking on your door to carry
you away to heaven people. If you want a partner and happiness examine what is
at the end of your own arms and do something to make it happen besides gabber
on the websites.
• How has this fetish affected your social life and/or dating? Married life? Parenting?
I have always looked for someone who is AB aware and can be one of my sons.
Yes one day, God willing I may have children of my own but that is a
separate thing.
No one knows about my Daddy side in my social life and I don’t think it
would surprise all that many.
• Some experts believe that we become the way we are because of traumas experienced at an early age, including abuse and/or neglect. Do your life experiences bear this out?
Life has never been a level playing field. I don’t know what other
people have gone through but I lived with someone getting totally pissed out of
their minds when I was young. Because of those experiences I have decided I
will not be drunk ever.
A lot of people have been abused and neglected out there. Most
emotionally and some physically.
I have seen tons of people want to recreate what they didn’t have a
kids. It could be a stable home life, a loving parent who was never there or
just the desire to experience true happiness again.
It isn’t my place to judge anyone or tell them how to cope what has
happened to them in their lives but by the same token I totally get the need to
want a better life than what fate has served up on us.
To me our community probably has one of the most practical and
productive ways to deal with the stress life has thrown at us.
• Some people have pointed out their observation that a larger-than-average number of multiple birth babies (twins, etc.) rep the ABDL lifestyle. If you are one of these, please explain what effect, if any, you feel this may have had on your ABDLishness.
I don’t know enough about multiple birth babies to comment on this. To date I know of only one set of diaper loving twins.
• For the older generation, please tell us more about what it was like being ABDL before social networking. I will be looking for the perspectives of members in their 40s, 50s, and even higher.
God that was a life time ago. I have only existed for forty years so I
can barely touch on it.
I remember a time when the most modern thing in our house was a toaster
and I was called over to someone home to program the VCR.
What life must have been like for someone who is now in their sixties
and wanted to wear diapers or diaper guys I can’t imagine.
I only know how many times God has said no to me about so many things
and I can imagine multiplying that disappointment and frustration by a thousand
and living in constant fear and disgust with oneself because you felt like you
were the only person in the world who your loves of nappies a secret.
• For the little dunces, please tell us about what it was like to discover this fetish/lifestyle on the Internet. Please be at least 18 at the time of writing, but be specific about what age you discovered it, what sites helped you, and keep this part PG for obvious reasons.
To discover that there were other people who wanted to wear diapers and
were not mentally retarded blew my fucking mind and gave me an orgasm that was
so intense nothing will ever be able to compare to it.
Imagine the national news announcing that Aliens had landed in peace at
the white house. You get the picture of what it was like for me.
• Do your interests involve a subset of this community, such as babyfurs, diaper disciplinarians, wet/messy, sissybabies etc.? Please tell us about it. I won't even try to be specific here; just tell us what you think people should know.
I don’t get diaper furs. I understand them through what I have read but
I have never wanted to baby an animal.
Not sure if I could stomach a messy diaper but then again if I had to
change a messy diaper I guess I would screw up my balls and do it.
I have nothing against sissies per say. I like boys but that doesn’t
mean it wouldn’t be fun taking a boy dressing him in lace, ribbons and pink.
Given more opportunity I will definitely do it but at the moment I just can’t
get into sissies because their clothes take up space I do not have.
• What % of your sexual activities and/or masturbation incorporate diapers? Has this caused problems for you?
My beloved family has never been good to me. I’m always made to feel
like used dog turd and I was told many many years : have sex in my house and
you basically die. Thus I sex hasn’t featured much in my life except when I
know it safe.
In all honest I have limited sexual pleasure once in about every two
months. I have simply outgrown that need.
• If you get into the regression aspect of ABDL please tell us more about that. If you do not, and you have feelings about being lumped into a fetish involving it, explain how it makes you feel.
Ah regression, the promised land. Having a boy trust you enough to let you strip him naked, remove his pubic hair and all signs of adulthood and then ultimately slip him into a diaper is one thing but is not regression.
I have never heard of anyone putting on a diaper, sucking a paci and
been taking into the headspace of baby. Those who claim to have experienced
this are blatant liars.
Everything that is worthwhile takes time and practise.
Before anyone can be regressed in any form there has to be a
1 000 000 % trust between the parties involved.
You both need to know when you attempt this you are not going to be
disturbed and that the parental figure has the babies utmost best interests at
heart.
If he comes up to you with two pills you have never seen before, says
take them and you can do so without any form of hesitation then you have a
starting point to begin experimenting with.
Drugs are not necessary to regress but from what I understand about it, it is an extremely slow process.
Before you, the adult baby can do anything, they have to spend a minimum
of FOUR months learning to relax your body and mind. You can do this with many techniques
from self-help books or you can buy various audio music that you listen to
through headphones.
The first time you try to relax your mind it feels extremely weird and
that is because it takes tons of practice.
Regression is ultimately about becoming so relaxed that you are only
vaguely aware of your body. You ultimately want to feel the diaper pressing
against your cock making you feel secure but that is the dullest of your senses
because everything is new different and exciting.
To move into the headspace takes hours of lying down, relaxing your
mind, sucking your paci, working on your breathing and letting the world around
you dissolve into oblivion.
It is not something that can achieved in a day or even a weekend. You
need at least five or seven days of private time and private space where you
can explore this world and be babied like never before.
Most guys don’t want to hear this but it is not something that you can
achieve on your own or quickly.
Before I even consider regressing a boy I go to great lengths to make
sure he is comfortable been an AB, learning everything possible about him so
that we trust each in ways we have never opened up to anyone before and then
the real work begins.
I then use my computer and iPad to find and create suitable relaxation
music which I burn and post to him.
I have my boys nurse on a baby bottle twice a day for months before we
meet. I forbid them to wank or even consider wear diapers for at least four
months before the time we have scheduled for regression and I literally sit and
plan out each movement, what I need to have on hand, what I am going to eat,
what they are going to drink, eat and do for each segment of the time together.
Because regression takes a baby back to new-born status my mobile phone
is on silent for the entire period and I’m lucky if I get onto the web. You
cannot leave an AB in any stage of regression alone, they need supervision and
guidance including regular feed, diaper changes and reassurance including feeds
and bottles throughout the night.
During the start of regression I keep my babied blindfolded and have
them wear earplugs. As we move on I introduce different senses and normally
speak Afrikaans which most babies don’t understand.
This is because new-born infants don’t see well and they don’t understand
English. This technique is the closet I can think of to simulating that part of
being a true baby.
Don't let yourself be limited by my questions. If you have anything else at all that you would like to say please feel free to say it here:
I have one major rant with young guys out there. You are all sexy, have six packs and are as hung as hell but what sun does to snow tact does to an argument.
Babies aren’t modest at all but before you decide to expose your entire
body to the world you need to think very carefully.
Every boy has a penis of some form. The wise boys are the ones who
achieve more than those who expose themselves. They are the masters of the
artful dodger, the blindfold banana, the hidden henry and tasteful tease.
Ask any Daddy or big brother figure worth his salt out there and they
will tell you, the boys who they want to know better and are more likely to
develop a relationship with are the babies who have kept their junk covered,
shown just enough to get a person interested in wanting to know more but hold
something back for someone special.
As a Daddy who looks at pictures of boys in diapers I can tell you this
: I don’t talk to babies who exposes their willies and show scat pictures or
have profile pics that showing their ass rather than their faces
I’m sure are very nice people who have a lot to offer but I prefer the
shy boy who I can approach slowly, earn his trust and get to reveal little bits
about himself to me as time goes on.
As I said before things that are worthwhile take time. Happily ever
after has never happened overnight.
My profile on rupadded and diaper boys used to be at least nine pages of
text. It required concentration and work to get through.
I know exactly what I want out the boys I one day have the privilege of
babying. I take my role as a Daddy and caregiver more seriously than anyone
else I have across on the internet over the past twenty years.
I don’t do thing by half measures because I am an intense passionate man
who knows what he wants.
Last week I went underground and deleted all my profiles across the
internet.
Firstly because a no brain wonder was causing shit with me on the forum
on diaper bois and then some other smart ass was attacking South African babies
hacking into their Facebook profiles and making life unpleasant for us.
I have not totally left the diaper community because I am planning on
coming back with a new website over the next year. It might not have the word
diaper or nappy in the url and for starters it is going to be tiny.
I am in contact with a select few people and once I have enough content
to put a website up I will invite them to invite people they know to the
website.
At the moment the websites are all about the fetish and only the fetish.
I want something better, something more personal where you are just a diaper
groin something where you receive a personalised message on your birthday,
where you get a letter from Santa a month before Christmas but mostly I want a
site for abs who don’t let the diapers define and limited them.
We have so much more to talk about then messy diapers, pissing inside a
boy’s nappy and so much more to offer each other than what we are currently
getting and accepting.
I believe it is possible to do good, work smarter rather than harder and
that what makes us unique should be celebrated.
I know you think I am mad for saying all this but I refuse to give into
the notion where we are all just faces behind computer screen typing at
keyboards. We have come very far as a community and we can go so very much
further if we only push ourselves beyond what we currently accept.
Before I go I want to touch on the subject of punishments.
No baby is ever 100% good or bad. That would be utter and totally
boring.
When a boy misbehaves he must be punished appropriately. Spanking a boy
on his own does nothing any many guys enjoy it.
For those other Daddies out there here are a few other things to
consider.
Make them write lines
Select a statement, get some plain paper and wax crayons.
Have them write out the line in a sequence of colours. Say the colour of
the rainbow or any definite sequence you desire.
Tell them to put down the first word on the left of the page, then as
they did in grade 0, they put their index finger next to that word and write
the next word in the sequence.
Tell them to write say fifteen pages a day for fifteen days and then you
inspect it.
If the colours aren’t in the right sequence, if the writing is bad or
the space between words doesn’t seem consistent they begin again, only this
time they do double of what you last required.
Believe me when I say you don’t need the special blood drawing quil
mentioned in Harry Potter to teach the child a lesson.
Also once the punishment is finished don’t throw away those lines.
Rather paste it on newspaper with glue and wrap a gift in it for the next time
you go over to their house for a party, celebration or birthday.
They will squirm when they see the packaging been handed to them in
front of their friends/family and no one else will really notice too much.
The infamous sour dummy
I’ve always maintained there is nothing
worse than an AB who has a potty mouth.
I came up with concept of a sour dummy to make
babies think about cussing about thirteen years ago.
The only instructions on how to make a sour
dummy have been posted on BabyMatt.net and within hours of me posting
instructions I was called everything from Satan incarnate to every foul term
ever used.
As far as I know the sour dummy has only
ever been implemented once. I don’t give instructions on how to make it to just
anyone but believe me when I say any
baby subjected to this punishment is going to be thinking extremely carefully
about swearing in future. I guarantee it – if it’s done right!
My Smacky spoon.
Next to my desk I have a bar fridge with a
tiny freezer. In that freezer I have a plastic container of almost frozen
water. Laying in that container is the biggest stainless steel serving spoon I
could buy.
It comes out of the freezer when I know the
boy I am babying is prone to niggles.
Its temperature is just right to weight
balls, give a sharp tap to little erections and utter invoke terror when I need
to yield it.
Deep heat
For the real sadists out there and for
those boys who keep discovering themselves, open a tube of this stuff and let
the baby have an extremely good strong whiff.
In my vast experience that alone is more
than enough to keep naughty hands away from the groin area for a long while.
Oh
sometimes you have to threaten to apply it strategically but most times when I
open my diapering kits and the boys sees it waiting patiently in its slot I
don’t have to many boys who misbehave in that regard where I will use it if
they “misbehave”:.
Remember guys :babies don’t discover themselves without
their Daddy’s express permission !
A tip for using VEET
Veet is substance like Nair that is used to
remove hair. You can buy it in pharmacy. Look for the sections where they keep
ladies razors.
Firstly it is a chemical and if you applied
and it begins to burn take it off! That is pure common sense.
When you are applying anything to your
crotch you have to be careful. Veet itself is so strong that it can easily burn
the skin on the shaft of your penis. I’ve seen careless guys actually bleed.
So to prevent this from happening, pop into
your local government clinic and stock up on some of the cheap condoms they
hand out.
Before you apply Veet to your crotch, roll
a cheap condom on and then you can apply the cream to your groin and balls and
your shaft stays safe.
More recently I have seen two other systems
for removing pubic hair. Both are sold in stores and on these home shopping
channels.
The first is a citrus based spray - like Veet. You literally spray it on, wait
a few minutes and the offensive hair simply wipes away with a wet wipe.
Method two is an egg shaped disc that has
these little miniature adhesive pads you’d expect to buy for a sander.
You stick on of these on the purple spoon
thing and press a button which causes it to vibrate slightly and it removes the
hair without shaving gel or a razor.
The kit I bought had a big egg device and
tiny one for doing the upper lip.
Finally once you’ve gotten rid of the pubic
hair hop in the shower or bath.
To finish off invest in a good quality
Vitamin E aqueous cream and apply it to the areas you have shaved.
If you mess . . .
Messing is not for everyone but if you do
it and you worry about the smell I’m told you can buy charcoal tablets to take
and it removes the odour from the scat.
This is a rumour I cannot confirm nor deny.
It will also turn your scat black but if
anyone has used these tablets and this works please post a comment below.
Oh and for those of you who used baby
bottles and teats,
When you wash the teats you literally want
to pour running tablet salt into them and leave them to soak.
If babies can get thrush on their lips so
can you so be sure to be obsessed with washing those teats.
If you are using a baby bottle you mayl
find that the teats are way too small. There is an extremely cheap workaround.
Find a store that sells feed, hay and stuff
for livestock. Sometimes they are called Co-ops but see if you can find a place
that sells stuff to people who have horse and things like ducks and goats.
Pop in and ask to see the Calf and Goat
teats. It may not be BPA free but you can probably buy about ten for US$5 and
as you will see the teats will fit your mouth far better than those found on
baby bottles.
If you really want to go all out you can
order proper adult teats but they are expensive. About twenty dollars each.
To the guys who contacted me and asked me
to continue my story called Project Babyhood I have been working on it and a
few new ageplay stories.
I am still looking for six to eight guys to
interview and include specific things about their lifestyle into my fiction but
as for me writing diapered erotica
becomes as boring as hell very quickly.
I have noticed that a lot of the kindle age
play books available on Amazon are most
female dominated tales and most involve diapering girls. Writing quality
fiction is a slow process so I hope in a couple of a month time I will have a
couple of quality stories in the fashion of Aunty Eva’s Border.
If you are a member of DL-BOY.COM look up a
member called DiaperDoc.
His name is Ethan and he has an illustrated
story on their stretching back at least twenty chapters. Writing quality
fiction is a task all on its own but amount of work that Ethan has put into
creating each image for each section of his story it utter mind-blowing.
Check it out please!
Cwis if you don’t publish this as I suspect
you might not, I will put it on my tiny blog. Thanks for all the stories and
good advice. You are an utter brat of that there can be no doubt but as I’ve
said before if you want help with your blog I am happy to donate my limited
skills.
Please forgive me for keeping this Q&A
so short. I keep feel as though I’ve forgotten to say a million things.
Peace and infinite blessings unto all of
you.
PS: Believe me Cwis these answers are
extremely short for me. As I writer I suffer from typing diarrhoea.
