Q&A with StrengthOfTurningTides
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Name/Nick: StrengthOfTurningTides
Age: 22
City/State/Country: Shropshire, UK
AB/DL/BabyFur/Other: ABDL
When did you first realize you were ABDL?
I first realised I was ABDL when I was very young. I remember, as a child, I'd reminisce about how much I missed being a toddler (me being around 6-7 and being able to remember those times!). I'd get really upset and wish so hard to be put back into nappies. I still have that same frustration to this day, but it's obscured by grown up problems and responsibilities.
What steps did you take to get your diaper 'fix' as a child and/or teen?
During the summer holidays, when all my family was at work and I was home alone, I'd surf the internet on my phone and that's when I realised that I wasn't alone on this planet! From the age of around 8 to 15 I seemed to have no access to anything related to wearing nappies, only in my mind. So when I discovered others' interest in ABDL, I was elated and further intrigued as to what there was to discover about it.
I took the plunge one day and caught the bus to my nearest superstore which was miles away and incredibly nerve-racking, not just because I was about to buy my first set of nappies in around 13 years but because I'd never caught a bus to an unknown place on my own before!
I purchased a pack of Drynites (Goodnites for my fellow American ABDLs) and a pack of Pampers size 6 (because I could fit in those back then!) along with all the essentials like baby oil/powder/wipes. I took them home, and enjoyed it, and kept on enjoying it to this day!
Do your parents and/or siblings know about you and diapers? If so, please explain how, and how they reacted?
I've never confessed this to my family. Although my parents did find out once, after they'd seen the internet history of what I'd been looking at during the summer holidays. It's safe to say my Dad didn't react very well - and I'm not going to go into detail about what happened but I was made to feel very ashamed of what I'd done and was told never to do it again. Oh, and they also thought I was a paedophile. My parents didn't understand at all but I played this off by claiming I was seeking help for bedwetting and discovered this amazing community. My Dad was having none of it and my mum never said anything about it. As the years rolled by, it was forgotten in time and I assume my parents put it down to being a phase as I've never heard anything from them since on the subject.
Have you dealt with the shame and regret that is the binge/purge cycle? Please explain.
This bloody cycle does my tree in. Yes, I've fallen victim to this cycle and I hate it. I wish it was one or the other. I have no idea the psychology behind it but I'm sure it's a completely natural cycle. My method is just to enjoy it while its lasting.
How has this fetish affected your social life and/or dating? Married life? Parenting?
Massively. I hate calling it a fetish. I'd love it to be more of a lifestyle but at the end of the day, nappies/diapers turn me on and that's that. However, I wouldn't like my partner to wear them, so I guess that makes me the baby! I told my Ex and he wasn't into it very much. My current partner isn't either but doesn't mind me wearing around him and he occasionally changes me which is nice. I do often wonder whether there'd be someone out there who could suit this side of me better than him. But this one will do just fine for me as he supports me in everything else I do (the grass is always greener, blah, blah, blah). As for social life, I wear around friends and they've never seemed to notice and if they did, I wouldn't mind much as I'd just tell them i struggle with my continence.
Some experts believe that we become the way we are because of traumas experienced at an early age, including abuse and/or neglect. Do your life experiences bear this out?
I'm a big believer in this one. I wouldn't say I've had a terrible childhood. But I can't seem to remember very many good times, even though I known they happened (like holidays and birthdays, etc). I think that's just the way I'm wired up, which is probably why I've been diagnosed with depression. Either way, the past is the past and I am who I am now, which is an ABDL, and t=I know that won't ever change which is a big comfort.
For the little dunces, please tell us about what it was like to discover this fetish/lifestyle on the Internet. Please be at least 18 at the time of writing, but be specific about what age you discovered it, what sites helped you, and keep this part PG for obvious reasons.
When I discovered the community online, I was around 15/16 and had recently got an internet-capable mobile phone. I knew better than using the family computer to do my 'research' on ABDL so it was mainly on my phone. I remember such pages as ABDLDADDY on wordpress and Deekers Diaper Page. The best on was DiaperHangout (formerly GayBabyDiaperHangout) which had so much content it would send me into a frenzy! Just the fact I wasn't alone in this world was bliss and the content I suddenly had access to was insane. To think back then, I'd fantasise about being one of those people in those photographs and right now I am makes me wonder why I don't appreciate it more.
What % of your sexual activities and/or masturbation incorporate diapers? Has this caused problems for you?
Around 55%. I wouldn't say I was completely dependant on ABDL content to satisfy my sexual urges. I think it would be a pretty unhealthy way to be if you needed it that much but that's just my opinion. It's not caused problems for me but in regards to partners; yes, sometimes with conflict of interests.
If you get into the regression aspect of ABDL please tell us more about that. If you do not, and you have feelings about being lumped into a fetish involving it, explain how it makes you feel.
I remember on GayBabyDiaperHangout (back in that day), they had some hypnosis content on there. Now, although none of the wetting/messing hypnosis worked on a physical level, the regression most certainly did and I loved it! Nothing mattered, and all my worries left me. I really do think I could use this now!
Since then, I've only tried a couple of times, and my conclusion is I think I was more susceptible to it back then. As I said earlier, adult problems can overwhelm a person so much so, they can't regress and unfortunately I'm one of those people. I've always wanted to go to one of these ABDL nurseries for a week just to regress as I think if i knew it was a relatively long term thing with a trustee, in the setting and with a good, experienced caregiver - maybe I could once again enjoy the feeling. But until my adult life allows it and until my partner would too, it's not liable to happen soon!
I hope these answers were good. Well done to Cwis from ABYSitter for being such a prominent, well-standing, credit to the community! You deserve a lot of respect and praise for what you do for us!
