Story Time! How I Came To Be An ABDL - by LittleBabyJedi

Up today I have a story and some photos from LittleBabyJedi. 

LittleBabyJedi has contributed diaper pictures to the blog before, under a different username. He's consolidated things into one ABDL persona, which happens to be on Tumblr: LittleBabyJedi. 

HOW I CAME TO BE AN ABDL

by LittleBabyJedi

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How did I come to be an ABDL? 

It goes all the way back to when I was 6-8 years old. I remember having dreams of being diapered and wanting to wear diapers. I couldn't understand why I was having these dreams. All I knew is that every night when I went to bed I would dream about diapers. About this time my youngest brother was still a baby. I would dream of taking his place or be jealous that he was in diapers.

I remember that anytime a commercial came on for diapers that it would grab my attention. The same with cartoons that had diapers in them.

I remember taking one of my brothers diapers one night and putting it on. It felt natural, safe, and I felt at peace. Over time my little stash under my bed grew. Then my supply stopped when my mom switched my brother from disposable diapers to cloth diapers. I didn't know what I was going to do.

I wasn't using any of the diapers that I collected. I didn't what my mom would do when she would notice extra diapers in the diaper pail. Finally one night I decide to use one of the diapers. I just wet it and fell asleep wearing. The next morning I hid it in a bag under my bed. Well my mom was cleaning the room while I was at school and found my stash and the wet diaper. At this time I was sharing a room with my other brother who was 3 years younger than me. My mom gathered my brother, my sister, and myself in the room and wanted to know whose stash it was and why she found it. None of us answered. So she diapered all three of us and left us in the room till one of us confessed. Several hours later she came in and said we could take them off. My stash was taken.

I didn't know what to do at this point.

I should probably take a break here to explain a little about my childhood. I am the oldest of 4. I don't really know my biological father, cause my mom divorced him when I was 2. There was a big court case and I was the center of it. I don't remember any of it cause I was so young. I don't remember a lot of my childhood. What I do remember is only negative stuff. The stuff that one should not remember from their childhood. My step dad has a temper. He was always yelling and angry. He would hit the walls but never any of us. I was always scared of him, to were I never wanted to help him with projects. I don't remember having a childhood. I always had my nose in a book growing up, I was into comics and star wars. Was always imagining that I was in the books I was reading. I never was close with any of my siblings. I was the outcast.

Ok back to my story.

Now that my mom has taken my stash, I was back to dreaming of them, keeping my eye out for diaper commercials. Sometime later I am not sure how long my mom went back to work. So now we had to go to a babysitters. My luck changed when the babysitter had a little one in diapers. I started to sneak diapers home in bag. Grew my diaper stash back up. Then my mom found my stash again. This time she loads all four of us kids up into the car and heads towards the store. She says that she is going to diaper all four us up in the store and make us wear diapers till one of us tells her why she found diapers again. Half way to the store I speak up that the diapers were mine. She asks why I had them. Response I gave her was that I was curious about how they were made. Don't know if she believed me or not, but she did turn the car around and head back home.

After that I was left with just dreaming about diapers. It was at this point that I started to find other ways to wear diapers. I would put a cloth diaper in my underwear to simulate a diaper, I would wear multiple pairs of underwear, would also take hand towels and put them in my underwear to simulate a diaper. I did this for many, many years.

This continued into middle, junior high, and high school. There were time that I could get my hands on a diaper or two. I would take two baby diapers and tape them end to end to make a diaper that I could wear and fit into.

All through the years I thought that I was the only one that liked diapers. That I was going to go to hell, and never find anyone to be with. My life has not been a pleasant one. There has been a lot of negative in. I was bullied all through my childhood, al the way up to my junior year of high school. My family was always moving growing up.

I have been on the internet since it first came out. Always hanging out at the town library, helping people set up email address, and teaching people how to use the internet.

It wasn't till about 1998 that we got internet at the house. This is when I started to search to see if I was the only one. I had been flipping through a Readers Digest and saw an ad for goodnites. The first thing I ever searched for on the internet that was ABDL related was goodnites. The first two sites that I ever found that were ABDL were Deeker Diapers and Riley Kilo's site. I don't remember what the name or Riley's site was called at that time. I learned from both that A) I wasn't the only one and B) that there was a term for it all Diaper Lover and Adult Baby. Two other sites I remember were DPF and ABY. Sadly none of the site are still up except Riley's site Staypadded.com.

It was such a relief to learn that I wasn't the only one interested in diapers. I would boot up the computer and have it dial in for the internet. Yes I go that far back. I would go on after everyone else went to bed. I would look at pictures and read stories for hours. I remember having email pen pals with other DL's in other states.

I was very luckily back than that my parents never found out what I was doing back than. They thought I was up doing school research or play either Warcraft II or Starcraft. I was lucky in that back than the tenement was still knew and we didn't know about clearing the history or as I learned later to also clear cookies and the temp internet files.

In 2001 the family moved from California where I grew up to Kentucky my junior year of high school. By this time I had found more sites and more online communities. Also had several online ABDL friends as well.

During my senior of high school I had a job and a car, so I bought my first bag of Depends Diapers from Rite Aid. At the time I thought they were amazing. Later, many years later I would learn that they were not and that there were better diapers.

Beginning or my senior year my mom found not only my stash of diapers but my stash of diaper stories that I had printed out, and my history on the computer. She took me to see a counselor. The counselor and I only ever talked about diapers that first day. After the we only talked about day to day stuff. I ended up seeing the counselor twice a week my entire senior year of high school.

I don't remember when it was that year but my mom pulled me into her room one night to talk. She said that she didn't care what I did as long as I was happy and safe. The only thing she asked was that I don't do any of it in the house cause of my siblings. She was afraid about how they would respond and didn't want me to get hurt. I respected her wish and did a purge. As a quick side note I have done several purges over the years. Well that initial purge only lasted about a month I think.

This time when I started to get diapers back and go back online to the sites, I got better at hiding both my stash and tracks. I kept the diapers in my car in a GAP bag. Started to save stuff to disks, ( this was before flash drives, was still using disks in school) and learned how to better cover my tracks on the computer.

I would do a purge every time I started to see a girl ( before I came out and entirely different story). The purge would last about a few weeks to a month. I was afraid of them finding out. I got smarter and instead of getting rid of my stash I would just hide it and not use it.

Fast forward some years.

It wasn't till my last girlfriend that several things came to face. First off she was the first person I told about my other side. She was accepting. She would allow me to wear around her, to the movies and such. She even bought me cloth diapers and plastic pants to try. It was at this point that I started to identify as a DL with AB tendencies. I liked pacifiers, bottles, and loved the idea of onesies and sleepers.

She was also the one that helped me realize and discover that I was gay ( like I said another story).

Skip ahead some more... 

I met my first ABDL in person. We met here on Fetlife. We were chatting and i had mentioned I was having a problem with my external hard drive and he said he could take a look at it and see if he could fix it. So a week later I go to his house and he takes a look at it. While he is looking at we start talking comics, star wars and such. Well to may a long story short we ended up becoming best friends. We would hang out once a week watching movies, or playing video games in diapers.

It was thanks to him that I got introduced to Abena M4, Super Dry Kids, and Teddy diapers. Which are all on my favorite diaper list. I also start to explore my little side more. Using pacifiers, and bottles more when I was over at his place. I found out that I was submissive. Problem was so was he, so I was made to be the big when we hung out, never little always the big bro who wore diapers.

I was listening to the BigLittlePodcast one day (Show Note) and heard about someone named Benny who made AB clothes on etsy, whose shop was called Never Grown Up. I looked them up on etsy and commissioned a batman onesie. After a short wait I was awarded with my first piece of AB clothes. I was in heaven. Sad to say that the shop is no longer open.

By now I have met a few other ABDL's in the area. We would hang out at my best friends house, play video games and be diapered.

Skip ahead to the past few months.

January I moved from Kentucky to Maryland. Shortly after moving here I started to catch myself sucking my thumb at night, feeling really little, watching a lot of cartoons, wanting to be diapered and looked after. A good friend pointed out that I was an AB and this was natural. I am wanting to explore this more. I like diapers, bottles, sippy cups, pacifiers, onesies and sleepers. I like to play with legos, have nerf gun wars, watching disney movies and cartoons. I don't like to do baby talk or baby food.

I am making a lot of new friends int DMV area. I am surprised at how many ABDL's or age players there are in the area. First day off that I get that falls on the DC little munch, I plan on attending.

Don't forget to check out his Tumblr:

LittleBabyJedi.tumblr.com

Got a story or photos to share? 
Email me!
abysitter@gmail.com
18+, of course! 

Guest Entry: Champ - From The Remotest Corners of ABDLWorld...

UP TODAY: I have a Guest Entry from Champ. Champ has been serving abroad as a volunteer - the country and organization shall remain anonymous. As soon as I found out he wasn't in the US anymore it made me both proud (because he's doing something selfessly awesome for people) and sad (because I selfishly thought, no more diaper pics/stories? Wah!) But he's since written a Q&A, and submitted some photos, too. He also keeps his Tumblr blog stocked with thoughful essays I suggest everyone consider reading. 

When I first found out, I suggested he write a little bit about what it's like to be an ABDL in a far-off place. This is that essay... thanks, Champ! 

GUEST ENTRY: CHAMP

From the Remotest Corners of ABDLWorld

As I write this, I'm on my tenth diaper in my latest bid for full time use.  The longer I've worn, the more it seems that going without diapers is actually harder than wearing them all the time.  That's not to say it's easy balancing my ABDL  needs with the rest of my life, though.  Especially because of my current situation.  You see I've been living and working as a volunteer in one of the remotest countries in the world for the past two years.  When I first came here I thought I would have to take a break from my ABDL ways.  I thought that I could.  But I was wrong on both counts.

Actually, for a good ten months I was able to survive without my diapers.  I didn't actually think they'd sell them here.  And if they did they would be of poor quality.  I was wrong again.  Wherever I go, even if it's a short vacation, I always make a point to check out the diaper aisle in every store, in the hopes that I will see something in my size.  Just give me thirty minutes on my own and I'm off on the hunt.

It's instinct, I can't help it.  And within the first month I saw a package of TENA Slip plus.  Those are good diapers!  So I knew that there were diapers, but still I didn't get any.  I'd left my plushie at home, along with all my other childish accouterments, and I was going to grow up and be a big boy while I was working overseas.  Besides, there was no way I could do this without being noticed, right?

But after a while, I started having the dreams. Whenever I take a break, the dreams are always the beginning of the end.  I dreamt of diapers, I dreamt of being put into toddler clothes, being strapped into car seats and changing tables.  Most of all I dreamt of going to stores and searching for diapers.

They were always frustratingly out of reach, and even if I bought them I usually woke up before I got to put them on.  My mind was telling me what I needed.  I could only resist the call for so long, and at the ten month mark, I broke.

I was in the capital, and as in all the big cities here, I knew exactly where the diapers were.  On the way to the black market, I made a split second decision  I popped into a grocery store, and saw right there – rows of diapers sold in full packages and two diaper sample packs.  I got a two diaper sample pack to test out, and I couldn't wait to get back to my room.  I changed in the nearest public restroom  and then met up with my friends to go shopping.  Unbeknownst to them I was wearing – and using – double diapers underneath my jeans the whole time.  Was my mouth dry and my hands shaking when I went to the cash register with the diapers?  Hell yeah.  Did it stop me from going back for a whole pack?

Absolutely not.  I actually ran to the store just before closing, bought a pack, and found a secluded spot on the side of a building to open it up and stuff them into my laptop bag and tote before going to a friend's house for drinks.  I've been doing this for a long time, I know how to sneak diapers.

So that was the start of it, but the problems were manifold.  For one, how to transport them?  Diapers take up a lot of space, and my luggage needed to hold other things, such as clothing and toiletries.

Well, it turns out if you really manhandle your luggage, you can always fit a little more in - even a couple packs of diapers.    But the hostels I stayed at were full of other volunteers!  Maybe I'm crazy, but despite the risk I was determined to get my way.  I will sneak, stash, and distract, anything I have to to get my diapers.  The next time I was in the capital, I brought two packs from the store hidden in tote bags, the tops of the packaging hidden under grocery bag plastic and anything else I happened to have with me at the time – scarves, water bottles, whatever.  I figured as long as they were covered, no one would know.  When I needed a change, I would pick up a tote bag I had left discreetly by the bathroom and bring it in with me.  Once you get past the nervousness of stealth diapering, you come to find out that nobody really pays attention to your bathroom habits or your puffy bottom.

Before I left the States, I changed at work, at friend's houses, even my family's Thanksgiving get together!  This place is no different, and once I became familiar with my surroundings, I was right back to my old ways.  I later found the stores selling diapers in the town by where I live, but used diapers take up even more space than new ones and having one trash can (a rusty old oil can with no lid) which is emptied only a few times a year can really put a crimp in your crinkle.  Whenever possible, I double bag them and bring them with me into town to dispose of.  Where there's a will there's a way, right?

So what of the AB side of things?  

I was wearing again but I still felt I had to be a big boy – I was still doing big boy work, after all, and even though other volunteers brought their plushies with them, I would never be caught with such a childish thing.  And for a long time I wasn't, until six months ago, when I spotted him in a nondescript furniture store.  He was a stuffed husky with blue eyes, 22” long.  I was instantly in love but he was fifteen bucks.  Cheap, I know, but a good chunk of my monthly stipend.  I decided to wait a month and see if anyone bought him.  One month later, I was in the store with a friend and saw him again.  I was torn.  I still wanted him just as badly as before, but what would my guy friend think?  He could tell I was upset, and after some coaxing I told him why.

“No problem dude.  If that's what you want, go for it!”

I was almost asking him to judge me, but as has happened whenever my friends catch a glimpse of my little side, he was totally cool with it.  Well I got him, and loved him, and have slept with him every night since, feeling like a little boy in love.  So my friend saw.  He didn't care.  I guess if you want something bad enough, you will go for it, no matter who sees.  

I've heard people give all sorts of excuses as to why they can't indulge in their ABDL fantasies.  They say things like 'I can't do anything at home because I live with my parents',  'I can't wear at work because I don't have a private restroom', or 'Everyone will notice my diapers, and where will I change?'.

There are plenty of reasons why it can't be done, and all of them have a solution.  Take it from me, Champ, anything is possible for the determined ABDL.  As for me, well, I'll see how long I can maintain my current stretch.   It's just about time to change into number eleven.

- Champ


Thanks for sharing this, Champ! For anyone else out there who wants to read some very insightful essays on the diaper life from Champ, check out his Tumblr: 

http://lilboychamp.tumblr.com/

And if YOU have a story to tell, I would love to feature it on my blog - just email me: abysitter@gmail.com. 18+ only! 

From Benjamin Button

abysitter shared a post with you Open Open in app abenjaminbutton Balance Something I've been thinking a lot about lately is finding balance in both satisfying my AB/DL needs and pursuing my hopes and dreams. As much as we'd all like to be adopted by someone and padded daily for the rest of our lives, do we still take the time to think about what else we want to do? I just turned 20 and am in college, so having bi-weekly existential meltdowns should come as no surprise to all the full grown folks out there. Lately it seems like all the flowers have wilted away and the brick wall of reality has stacked itself all around me. And so as I retreat into my little side to get away from things, I actually learn something about myself and this cool community. As I read through all the fun stories and AB life hacks on blogs like abysitter's or see all the adorable pictures on minimaxkiddo's page (not to forget all the drawn artwork on deviant), I'm reminded that so many of us are artists. It takes a special mind to be able to retreat into a childlike state of purity and calm instead of falling on more destructive vices like drugs and alcohol. Shouldn't we have an advantage over other people for that reason? There's a balance to be found in existing as a little. There's both a good way and a bad way to take advantage of who we are. The bad way is to always retreat into our little side, taking a fearful approach to all that life throws at us. But on the other hand we can use our littleness to catch our breath, find comfort when the going gets rough, and then emerge from within ourselves and do great things. We can go out into the world and express the skills we have to make ourselves a community of creators, problem solvers, and doers. #abdl 8 notes ATTN: Tumblrbot  35 East 21st St, 10th Floor  New York, NY 10010

Guest Entry: DiaperWhiz

Up today I have an awesome guest entry from DiaperWhiz! DiaperWhiz has written guest entries here before, including a story (still trying to find the link for it), an essay on Tumblr, and a Q&A. In addition, he has his own Tumblr blog: Lilscruff.tumblr.com. Go check him out in all his cuteness.

By the way: DiaperWhiz is also a two-time Abysitter #ABDL Photo Contest winner. I've sprinkled in some of his contest entry pictures with this blog entry hehe...

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Guest Entry: DiaperWhiz

"End of College Days"

 

I went to undergrad in a very rural part of vermont. A small liberal art college with a large population of very attractive mountain men. unfortunately Vermont proved to not be the best location for picking up sexy gay dudes. But it was a fantastic place for young college co-eds to experience with their sexuality. Thank god for good ol college experimentation, without it, I might never have gotten laid. But even with the occasional straight lay, there still was no diaper play happening in my life. During that time I kept myself occupied wearing diapers to bed and occasionally to class. But I couldn't get the fantasy of diapering rural vermont boys out of my mind. I mean they already wore overalls most of the time, and with all that scruff I knew they would make the most adorable toddlers. hehehe  But I never got a chance to incorporate diapers, I always kept that part a secret. That is until one fateful night….
It was the week after classes but before graduation my senior year. I had just received 2 cases of M4s from a friend who was moving out of New England and needed to dispose of his stash quickly. Being a poor college student I gladly took him up on the offer. With all the extra padding around I was wearing quite frequently at the time, doubling up for bed and whatnot. I knew that I couldn't get through all the diapers before I myself had to move, but I sure as hell was trying! haha.

The university was throwing a big party at a bar the next town over. All the seniors were invited to have one last hour not he universitiy's tab. There are underclass men there to act as DDs and to make sure the seniors don't get to out of control.

The good thing about going to a small school is that you know EVERYONE. It makes group situations easy cause you can easily strike up a conversation because you have most likely had a class, played a sport or been to a party with whoever you are talking to. After some goofing around with my Frisbee teammates I saddled up to the bar for a drink when I noticed this boy sitting alone across the bar. He wasn't a senior, and though he was someone I recognized, I couldn't remember where we had met. I must  have been staring because he signaled me to come over.

I thought what the hell, this might be a good chance to flirt a little. I always liked having fun with the straight boys, knowing that it probably wasn't going anywhere, it allowed me to be much more loose and casual.

As I walked over to him a the bar I sized him up. He was short, about 5'5" but solid. He had a nice pair of arms from what I could through his tight fitting dress shirt. He had short hair that was just a little on the shaggy side, like so many of my Vermont boys like to wear it. He had a look about him the read rural. I don't know how to describe it, but I could easily picture him growing up in wife beaters and whitey tighteys on the couch watching TV. The kinda guy who was a little messy and a little dirty in that sexy man kinda way. His face was contorted in a wry smile that hugged the scruff peeking out from his otherwise baby face. A devilish light flickered behind his eyes as if he was always thinking something dirty.

I pulled up next to him and struck up a conversation. He seemed shorter when I finally pulled up close to him. His feet dangling over the edge of his seat, swaying back and forth like a little boy.

"What are you drinking?" I asked

"A Roy Rogers. Im not old enough to drink here." He replied sheepishly

"Oh a young one eh? Well that's what the party back in town is for right?", I laughed. Ha! A Roy Rogers I thought, this boy is a a little tyke isn't he?

"Have we met before?" I asked, "You looks so familiar."

"Yeah, I came to your birthday party, and I play soccer next to the frisbee fields. I've seen you out there before. The name is Calvin."


Now I remembered him. He was the shortest player on the soccer team but he could move fast. That explained why he looked so familiar. The soccer team shared field space with the frisbee team.  I've always had a thing for sports players. The mention of soccer let my drunken mind wonder to how this short little guy looked in his soccer uniform. Probably looks awesome looks cute in a jock strap I thought to myself, followed by the thought that I'd probably never get to see that. What a shame, I thought as I threw back the rest of my beer.
The whole time we are talking I get this really good vibe. He was clearly interested into talking to me so we sat and I drank a lot. After the party was over al the seniors had to wait for a school bus to come pick them up and take them back to campus. A few savvy seniors made arrangements with underclassmen DDs for rides, but I make no such plan. The idea of waiting for the slow ass bus to get back to campus was unacceptable. I finished my beer and got up to leave but Calvin stopped me and said:

"Do you want a ride? I brought the cargo van out here from campus but they said I can take it back. There is room for one more."

"Hell yes! Im totally coming with you!" I exclaimed.

We grabbed our stuff and hopped into the van and head back to campus. I was significantly drunk at this point and am feeling a little saucy with my newfound soccer boy.

"Thanks for the ride man. I really appreciate it." I said, thinking about all the trouble I was going to get into that night.

"No problem man. What are you getting into tonight." He aked. This kid, who I have met only briefly, wanted to tag along to the "grownup" party, how cute. But, what was in if for me?

"I dunno man I am probably gonna head back to town and drink some more. What about you?"

"I am ready to start drinking myself. I'm looking for the party."

"Awww so cute the lil boy wants to come play with the big boys." I mocked. He quickly shot me a look and stuck his tongue out laughing.

"You are more than welcome to tag along with me. if you want, I'll make sure you get into trouble." I teased

"What kind of trouble?" he asked curiously.

"You'll see." I said.

Now I should mention here that I did not have the intention of doing anything with this boy other than be flirty and to tease him. At this point I had no plan beyond getting back to town and drinking more. The alcohol was making me feel really high on my horse. I had been in this situation before. You get a chatty straight guy who laughs at all your jokes and give you good eye contact and attention at the bar, then wants to tag along for the night and drink and wax poetic with a seemingly wise sociology major. This was heading towards us having sex. I could just feel it. Now usually at this point I just sit back and coast and let the night play out without any work on my part. But this time was different. I don't know if it was the booze or the fact that I sensed he was kinda kinky, from no other information other than I had this vibe. And the fact that I was pretty confidant he was going to try and have sex with me later gave me the impression that he must be at least open minded. I steered the conversation towards kinky things. He asked me about being gay and I told him about how great it is and liberating and how we have the best kinds of sex because we can get kinky and I like that.

"Oh like Bondage?" he asked, trying to look knowledgeable.

"Oh so your familiar?" I said with one eyebrow raised, " Does your girlfriend tie you up at night?" A wry smile cut my lips.

"Hahaha. No, I don't have a girlfriend." Interesting, I thought to myself. "Yeah, I've never really done it but I have seen some stuff. There is all kinds of crazy stuff on the internet."

"True story" I laugh, "You don't even know the half of it."

"Oh really?" He asked, genuinely curious, "Like what?"

"Well, like there is a huge subculture in the gay world around sports gear. I bet you in your soccer outfit would drive em wild. They'd be stuffing dollar bills down your jockstrap at the club."

"nahhhhh." he laughs, "Really? Dudes find that hot? Its just what I wear every day, I mean Ill give you the jock strap does look good. Especially if you have a good body like mine." He throws up his right arm to do a flex pose.

"So modest!" I snorted playfully punching his arm.

He jokingly swatted me away, "Shut it! hahaha. no but really. Is that what you are into? Does my soccer outfit turn you on." He asks, with a tone of seduction in his voice.

"I'm not gonna lie, hahaaha, I bet you look slamming in a jockstrap. But no I have another kink." I kinda just blurted this out, which immediately regretted. I looked out the window of the van and wished that we were closer to home so I wouldn't have to elaborate.

"Go on" he said
Damn why did I open my big fat mouth.

"Tell me." He pressed on.

Shit it was now or never

"I dunno…" I hesitate.

"I promise I won't freak." I can almost see the curiosity dripping from his lips.

Fuck am I gonna or am I not gonna. For a split second I almost make something up.

Then I blurted it out.

"I like to wear diapers and put other guys in diapers."

He was silent for a second. It felt like an eternity.

Then he bust out laughing. "HAHAAHA, really dude?! thats some kinky shit." but I had piqued his interest. He asked me a whole line of questions. Where do you get them? They're not kid diapers? Adult Diapers? How often do I wear. Does anyone else know?

"Do you have any right now?" he asked as we pulled around the corner into the main part of town. This perked my ears up.

"I do back at my house. you wanna see one?" I asked devilishly.

"Yes." and with that my heart exploded in my chest. Here I was with a smoking hot, dirty little soccer player who wants to see my diaper stash. and isn't appalled that I wear diapers but rather intrigued. We went back to my apartment.  I brought Calvin upstairs to my room and uncovered a big plastic crate of M4s. He looked at it for a long time and said "Damn, that a lot of diapers." He wasn't wrong. Then he said something that I will never forget.

"So are you gonna put me in one or what?"

With that, my face fell off. I swear I literally had to pick it up off of the floor. Did I hear him right? Put him in one? Just a couple of hours ago I would have killed to see him in a jockstrap, never did I think I would get this boy into a diaper.

My look of shock turned into a look of kinky anticipation "Lay down." I commanded.

He started to fumble with his belt. I stopped him. "Let big bro do that."

I laid him down on the bed, my hands trembling. I pulled off his belt, and slowly slid down his jeans. He had killer legs. Strong legs. The kind you get from running and jumping. he was wearing a pair of BVD white briefs. The were well worn in, I could tell they were an old pair.  A little stained with urine and precum, his cock nestled softly inside, twitching at the movement of my hands. I pulled his shirt up a little to grab the waistband of his underwear and slid my hands across his solid washboard abs.

"You must work out a lot!" I said.

'Everyday." He responded, " I told you I have a good body." He stuck his tongue out again.

"Oh, cocky boy huh," I teased, "We'll see how confidant you are with a big diaper between your strong legs, you brat." That seemed to hush him up, and I continued with my process.

I stood over this boy, laying on my bed with his jeans around his ankles and his shirt pulled up high leaving his ever expanding cock waiting to be freed from those whitey tighties and put into a thick diaper. I pulled out an M4 and set it it beside him, Then I pulled out my baby powder.

"Baby Powder!" He started to protest.

"Hush!" I barked, "We don't want you to get chaffed do we?" I dragged my hands up his strong firm legs, over the top of his now hard penis. He let out an audible moan. Someone likes being the sub, I thought to myself. I pulled down his big boy underwear letting his cock spring out like a jack-in-the-box.

"Does this excite you? Being put back into diapers by an older wiser senior? Being put back where you belong." I was trying to sound cool and tough, but the truth is my voice was shaking and I couldn't believe what was happening. I tried not to let it show though.

"You diaper a lot of guys?" He asked, changing the subject.

"Actually, you're the first. So its new to both of us! Lift up." He lifted his tight butt and I slide the M4 right underneath him. It looked huge compared to his relative body size, but was a perfect fit over that rockhard stomach and beefy legs. I carefully powdered him and tapped him in. The sight of this was too much to bear. I helped him up and let him walk around the room a little.



Crinkle Crinkle

I watched him waddle around the room, looking at his new underwear. He kept looking at the front then looking at the back. He ran his hands across the front of his diaper, now barely concealing his erection. He grabbed his jeans and shimmied them up his legs. Halfway up he lost his balance and fell over on all fours. He looked up at me from the floor, his diapered butt puffed out in perfect form. His face began to fill with blush. He let his head drop in a kind of play shame, and then stood back up, cheeks as red as fire trucks.

He had trouble getting his tight jeans up and over the massive M4 but he was finally able to do it. He stood there looking at me with this helpless face, his pants unzipped and exposing a very thick diaper. The contrast between this very babyish attire and his athletic build was cute and it made him look all the more hilarious.

Crinkle Crinkle

"Im gonna bust out of these jeans! Do you think anyone will notice?"

"No," I lied. It was definitely noticeable.

As he zipped up his pants the M4 stuck out over the top of his waistband defiantly. It was very clear that he wasn't just wearing a diaper but it was a very big diaper. He pulled his sweatshirt down over his waistband in an effort to conceal his new evening wear, but the bulge around his crotch was a tell tale give away. His butt, which was already bubbly, now stuck out even farther and was ever further accentuated by his waddle. This was going to be fun.

I grabbed my things and began making for the exit.
"Aren't you gonna wear one?" He asked with fear in his voice.

For a second, I thought about sending him off into the world padded alone. Watching him uncomfortably waddle through the party on his way to the keg with the knowledge that he was wearing a very thick diaper alone in a room of college boys. I wanted him to feel that embarrassment and slight shame. But I decided to have a heart and padded myself up as well. Much to his relief.

As we began walking down Main street on the way to the boozed fueled party, I trailed Calvin by a few steps. Watching his over exaggerated bowlegged walk. seeing him struggle with the new found wealth of fluff stuffed into his 501 jeans. "Its hard to walk!" he complained,

"You'll get used to it." I laughed. So we continued, him waddling down the street, self consciously tugging at his sweatshirt to conceal top of his new underwear that was peeking out from the waistband of his jeans. As we approach the party he turned to me. I could see the outline of his trim body suddenly swallowed by his puffy pants. "You think anyone will notice?"
Nah," I said, hoping he wouldn't chicken out, "I wear all the time and no one can tell."

This seemed to appease him and soon we were up the steps and into the party. The party was kind of a blur. Lots of faces, lots of conversation. At one point I lost my little diaper boy in the crowd. After having a few drinks, and throughly soaking my own diaper. I see lil Calvin sat around a table in the living room play a card game. I pulled up a chair and join in. By this time, everyone has had a few drinks, is a little looser and just having a good old time. Calvin has a slight glaze over his blue eyes indicating that he too was having a good time. The self conscious athlete is no where to be seen. He had completely forgotten about the diaper, it seemed. As I watch him play, he hunches over his knees, throwing down cards and reaching for booze. Unbeknownst to him, every time he reaches forward his sweatshirt is pulled up a little. He was wearing a tight fitted flannel shirt that was now ridden up a quarter way up his back. The shirt left a space of white smooth flesh that would normally connect to the waistband of his pants on any other night, but tonight, that space is interrupted by a crinkly thick diaper exploding out his backside.

From behind anyone could see quite clearly the exposed M4 jutting out of his tight jeans. Even a quick glance by a drunken coed would confirm that this boy was wearing a diaper. I loved watching him expose his dirty little secret to the whole party, and I was kind of surprised that A) no one confronted him and B) that he genuinely didn't seem to care. He was too busy laughing and drinking to bother with keeping his diaper underwraps. Every once and a while our eyes would catch and I would flash a wry smile that said "I know what you are wearing under there little boy", and I would look at his bulging crotch and watch a fresh wave of blush run across his face as he was forced to remember that he was nothing more than a diaper boy at the big boy party.

After a while he turns to me and whispers in my ear. "How am I supposed to use the bathroom with this thing. I have to piss like a mother fucker!"

I looked at him and laughed at such an obvious question.

"You mean, you use them too?!" he asked.

I nodded.

"Oh man I don't think I can do that." He said looking worried that he had gotten in over his head. "I'll just hold it."

I cracked a sinister smile and responded "Let me know how that goes for you."

Finally with the night wrapping up, I tell him I am headed home. We walk back to my place, me very soaked, from all the beer drinking and him still waddling but looking dry. I can tell because he is doing the desperation dance. I watched him all the way home crinkling back and forth, waddling like a little toddler but refusing to use his diapers. Trying to cling on to that little bit of dignity he had left.

As we climb the stairs to my apartment he makes a hard turn to go to the bathroom. I stopped him.
"There is nothing you need in there."
"But I need to piss."
"Lets get that diaper off first, buckaroo"

In my room I take my pants off. I see him stare at my soaked M4. "Jesus…" he mutters "You really did it."
"Its not that bad," I respond. "It actually feels kinda good. You don't have to worry about leaking the diaper will catch it all. It feels warm."

"But isn't that gross," he worried. It was hard to hear what he was saying casue of all the squirming he was doing. He was really determined to hold it, and after 6 or 7 beers that was quite a feat indeed.

I walked over to him and pulled down his pants.  "What have we here?" I joke, "Is that a diaper? ARE YOU WEARING A DIAPER?!" More blush runs to his cheeks turning them an embarassing shade of crimson. "A diaper boy. Doesn't look like a college soccer player to me? Maybe we should have you play your next game in this?"

He stood in silence taking my abuse. His member awake and fully paying attention to the conversation, looked like he heard something he liked. His outlined member raised the smooth front of his diaper like braille adding a mountainous texture to an otherwise uniform surface. "Still a little excited eh? Wearing diapers does make you hard?"

"Knock it off dude, Im not a little boy", he fights

"That's not how it looks to me" I grab the front of his diaper and squeeze. It looks to me like someone likes being in a diaper.
He lets out a moan, an throws his head back. "I just like being told what to do." he said
"Well in that case, piss yourself." I said calmly

"What?!"

"You heard me." This time I said it slower. "Piss yourself. I want you to use that diaper. They aren't cheap."

"ummmmmm.. uhhhh I dunno…"
I squeeze his diaper again. and moved my hands up to his tummy. I press softly on his engorged bladder. "Just relax dude, it will feel good I promise"

And with that I felt him relax. A shudder trembled through his limbs as his muscles released their tension. With my hand still on his crotch, I felt the heat escape his cock, and spread across the front of his rapidly warming diaper. White territory slowly invaded by a yellow intruder. His hands found their way to his face in a desperate attempt to hide from the humiliation of pissing his pants for a stranger. I began to squeeze and release, squeeze and release as he let more and more urine into his diaper. The relaxation turns into moans and grunts. The now swollen diapers pressing forcefully against his now rock hard dick.

His diaper, throughly soaked, I tossed him to the bed.  I do my best to rub his diaper into his pulsating member  while touching his rock hard body knowing that I probably would never get a chance to do this again. "Good boy, you filled up your diaper, look how soaked it is. Lets get you outta this thing."

And with that I tore away the used garment and mine as well. We tumbled around the bed the smell of sweat and urine and male testosterone permeated the air. He spent the night wildly fucking me, our wet diapers casual observers in the corner. In the morning we had a cup of coffee and joked about the previous night.

"I can't believe that happened." He said, ringing with disbelief.

"Me neither" I grinned back. Still sore from the nights activities, but keyed up with the cache of pornographic images now locked in my minds vault.

And that was that. I graduated the next day, and we said our goodbyes. However, that was not the last time we played together. But that is a story for another day ;)

The Official DiaperWhiz Chronicles:

Lilscruff.tumblr.com.

Guest Entry: Champ on Puppy Play

Up today, I have another guest entry from Champ. Champ, as you may remember, wrote a guest entry for this blog a few weeks ago on his experiences growing up ABDL. He has a Tumblr blog where he posts fresh, original content (essays and photos) quite often. His guest entries will become a regular feature of Abysitter.com, as well. 

Today's entry is on puppy play. I've dabbled in pup play before, and loved it. In a perfect world I'd have my own ABDL house complete with a nursery and - wait for it - a puppy cage. There's nothing like feeding an adorable li'l AB a bottle... or rubbing an AB pup on his tummy. Both are an amazing feeling, although I suspect most of my readers will be familiar with the first and not-so-much with the second. So read on... and, if you have any experience with pup play, or want to contribute some photos of your own, get at me.

You can read more from Champ by visiting http://Champ.abysitter.com [coming soon] or by visiting his own Tumblr blog at http://lilboychamp.tumblr.com/. Thanks, Champ!

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[DO NOT REDISTRIBUTE WITHOUT PERMISSION]

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Preliminary notes on the appeal of the puppy play phenomena from a genuine newcomer...

My first inkling of the world of pup-play came to me on a sunny day in San Francisco's Soma.  It was July 26th, 2009 and I was at the Dore Alley Street Fair with my room mate and friend B, a self described bondage enthusiast and a founding member of the SFLDG.  We were enjoying the sights and muscling our way through the press of skin and motorcycle jackets when we spotted a mutual friend, D with a posse of leather and spandex-clad friends.  Now, I had discussed many experiences and scenarios with our friend D but I had never heard tell of the 'pup thing'.  Yet there was his friend - on two legs with a puppy hood a collar and lead looking happy as could be.

I'd be lying if I said this was the moment I knew pup play was for me. That, like a lightning strike I felt an affinity that resonated to my core.  No, I hardly batted an eyelash at the scene before me.  I had seen to many things and, writing it off as a slight variation on the standard slave/master relationship we hear so much of, I simply smiled inwardly at his happiness and pleasure.  But I never thought I would be in his position.

Two years later I went to visit a new acquaintance in my hometown and over the course of our conversation his interest in pup play came up. He showed me his collar, his bowl, his hood and mitts.  Yeah yeah, I had seen this all before but this time something was different.  I found myself expressing enthusiasm not just for the love of diversity, or the emotional piggybacking that tends to occur when someone around you is excited.  This time I was secretly excited as well.  For some reason I wanted to see him use these things, and I hoped it would be soon.

What strikes me about the relationship between a master and a sub - pup, or otherwise - is that it goes deeper than a mere 'whose line is it' roleplay.  The depth of feeling and meaning that is transmitted between two people in these role-playing scenarios can be transcendent - spiritually transcendent under the proper circumstances.  It's not just about one forcing another to do what they say.  It's not simple humiliation.  There is a pact of trust and understanding there, there is the negotiation and fulfillment of emotional needs, and so many more layers which are particular to any individual involved.  I have been told that getting into a BDSM 'headspace' can be more mind altering than any drug.  That said, I never felt comfortable with being dominated outside of brief bedroom encounters.  I always valued my independence and had no desire to give that up.  Tests of endurance and ceding control just aren't my bag, baby.  But it was in the special relationship between pup and master that I found something else to love.

It happened after he crawled into the living room in full pup gear. My first thoughts were 'Wow, this is really cool.'  I was thrilled and right away I knew just where we both stood - who hasn't played with a dog in their lifetime?  I found myself compulsively scritching him on he head and praised him for being a good puppy.  But it happened after all this.  That moment of realization happened after he took off the mitts, when he was sitting on the couch chatting in human form again.  I was stroking the real dog in my lap, someone said the word affection and it hit me that this was what made the experience so appealing.  The ancestral bond between man and dog, that unbounded love one feels for their pet and companion.  I knew that feeling.  And through this vehicle I could experience it both ways.

In the next 24 hours I devoured the book he lent me on the subject (Woof by Michael Daniels) and found that this play offered a staggering array of angles and dimensions in which to engage this headspace.  From feeding to grooming, gear to training, the detail and care which goes into this kind of play is beyond what I could have imagined.  And for the first time I found a scenario where I could imagine myself the top - gone were the reservations and insecurities that I face in the standard ‘man-to-man' interaction.  The conditions and caveats to affection, all those walls I build around myself in everyday life would be reduced to rubble.  Step right over, rover.

I will never be a lifestyler.  I still can't see myself with a permanent partner whom I call master, and who - everyday when I come home from work - snaps a collar on me and transforms me into something else.  Nor can I see myself as a dedicated master who spends his time devising new ways to  engage my pet.  I don't have those needs, I don't have those resources.  I only had a chance to try out the role of pup for 15, 20 minutes tops.  But in short order I've picked up something to add to my bag of kinks.  And I have a feeling I'm going to have a lot of fun with this one.

Guest Entry: Champ

[CWIS'S NOTE] Up today I've got an article from someone new: Champ. Champ is an AB/lil' boy, 26, from southern California. You'll find him on RUPadded (http://www.RUPadded.com/Champ) and he has a Tumblr blog: http://lilboychamp.tumblr.com. This is his first time submitting to Abysitter.com. 

Special note: What follows is a true account from Champ's developmental years. In the essay you are about to read, he talks about activities which occurred when he was a child. This is not to be confused with Deeker-era stories involving "real-life sightings" of children, etc. While this is certainly not the first blog entry involving memories of childhood, I'd respectfully ask that anyone offended by this type of material skip the remainder of this blog entry, and that anyone who is turned on by that kind of material kindly exit my blog.

Thanks to Champ for such an introspective blog entry - this is awesome stuff. Anyone else who'd like to contribute on similar topics, or any ABDL-related topics, please get in touch.

GUEST ENTRY: Champ

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Champ here.  For as long as I can remember having complete thoughts, I have always had a desire to wear diapers and after eight years of sporadic wearing, I am ready to follow that desire and find out where it takes me.  But where I am now, and what happened in those eight years to bring me here is a story for another day.  Instead, I'd like to talk about my relationship to diapers before the Fall of my 18th year.   Back when I could only imagine the day when I would finally be free to wear as I liked.

I was born in 1986 and I'm told I potty trained myself at the age of two, before my memory starts.  My first coherent memories, and the first ones connected to diapers start two years later at the age of four - a full year before I would have my first fantasies about other boys.  When I was four, I was friends with a neighbor boy named Jake who was a little younger than me and I remember that I was fascinated by his sister's life after she was born. How they bathed her in the sink, how they put an alarm in her diaper to tell when she wet.  I asked him one day if he remembered what diapers felt like.  We put a pillow on him like a diaper but he said it didn't feel the same.  Not long after, I noticed that one of my big sister's old dolls was wearing a real baby diaper.  One day, when I was in my room for being naughty, I grabbed it from the toy chest and put it on beneath my pants.  It was a crinkly white pamper and I was surprised that it felt just like my underwear.  The crinkle was too loud, so I quickly took my pants off and removed it just in time to avoid getting caught by my mom as she returned to lecture me.  Later that day I brought an inflatable tugboat tub toy to the bathroom with me and peed in it, pretending it was a diaper, but it would be a long time before I got to try on the real thing again.

By the age of eight I knew that diapers were for babies and not for big boys.  But this only made me want them more.  At night I would sleep on my side with a pillow wedged comfortably between my legs.  I remember one particular dream in which I was locked into a  series of connected cages, like a McDonald's Playplace.  It was where they kept babies and somehow I had gotten locked in with no way out.  This both excited and terrified me.  In one of the cages I found a suspended rubber ducky and began rubbing up against it, only to wake up rubbing against my pillow in the same way.  Eight is around the age at which I began to fantasize about being tied up, often incorporating kidnap scenarios into make believe games I played with friends.  I always hated having to escape so it's no wonder I remember the dream so well.  

At age nine, I diapered my first boy.  He was a chubby kid with curly blonde hair and we were playing in my room when I brought out an old sling I had used when I hurt my arm.  I don't know what I said but it wasn't hard for me to convince him to let me put it on him like a diaper.  Again this didn't last long because my mom kept coming in to check on us, but boy was it fun.  

My interest in all of these aspects of diaper wearing only increased with time.  

By the age of ten, I was having fantasies about being kidnapped by all the girls in class and forced to wear baby clothes.  I remember one fantasy in particular where I was tied to a pole in nothing but a diaper and bonnet and teased by all the boys and girls that passed by.  I think that should have told me that I was more than a Diaper Lover and yet I am only realizing that now.

At eleven I finally managed to buy a pack of baby diapers.  They fit me perfectly and I just laid in one for a while enjoying the feeling before throwing it out in the trash.  When my mom found it she asked me why I had a diaper.  I later made up a lie which neither of us believed but being the great mom that she is, she had the sense not to push the issue.  As for the rest of the diapers they went straight into the trash never to be seen again.

At age twelve, I am sorry to admit I committed a sin.  I went to a private school with students from pre-school to eighth grade and once I discovered there were diapers there for the little kids, I snuck a couple home.  Sadly, this would be the last diaper experience I'd have until college.  It must've been near the end of my twelfth year because I was able to successfully reach orgasm when I rubbed myself through the diapers.  Every time I put one on, it was like heaven, but no matter how much I tried to make them last, it wasn't long before I started rubbing myself through them.  Once I had used them like that, I had to throw them away.  I did not like the idea of being in a dirty diaper, and I certainly didn't consider actually using them for their intended purpose.  

I look back on all the boundaries I've made and broken and laugh.  In the years since I was sure I would never use diapers.  Then I was sure I would never mess them.  I was sure I would never wear them outside of my dorm room.  And I was just sure I would never wear them in everyday situations.  I was completely sure I would never tell anyone else about them and positively sure that I could never tell a significant other about them.  I would just hide this part of me forever and lead a simple, stereotypical middle class life next door to the Joneses.  It hurt for a long time, being different.  It can be scary to look at yourself honestly and discover what it is you really want because you don't know what you'll find or if you'll be able to accept it.  But the attrition of all these years has finally washed away my shame, even though I'm still a little scared.   Want to know a secret?  Everybody feels this way sometimes, no matter how many fears they have faced and defeated.  It never ends!  But there's always a reward on the other side of a fear and after eight years on the fence, it's time for me to claim it.  Until next time, stay padded!

-Champ

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Again, check out the rest of Champ's pictures,

including a very hot diaper changing series, on his Tumblr.