So my boy and I were at Subway tonight and, as often seems to happen, two Mormon missionaries rolled up next to the building on their cycles, set the bikes alongside a sign, and came in.
They ordered and then walked over to sit at the table right behind us. And as they passed, that's when I heard it... a very, very familiar "crinkling" sound.
Even my friend, who isn't into diapers but is familiar with my fetish, did a double-take.
WTF? Dude seemed to be wearing Pampers.
When he got up to get a soda refill I had to stare at his butt.
I figure I'm going to hell for it, but as far as the Mormons are concerned I'm going to hell anyway. As is our country for allowing gay marriage. So fuck it. I stared.
And I couldn't be 100% sure, but this kid was pretty in shape - the Mormons do ride their bicycles like 20 miles/day or something, after all - but he had a pretty - er, padded - bottom.
I wanted to be like "dude, your diaper's showing" - just to see if he looked alarmed or confused.
Alarmed = ABDL
Confused = Not. And time to leave Subway, quick.
So my friend, being the dutiful bff of an ABDL, turned to the Mormon boys and struck up a conversation.
He asked what they did all day.
How far they rode.
If they went into any bad neighborhoods.
And then he asked them the question.
"What do you do if you have to pee and you're in a strange neighborhood?"
They both looked embarrassed. As I'm sure I did. But my friend pressed on.
"I mean, people must give you a hard time about coming inside..."
The boys explained that they do have some pretty close calls. But that they don't ever just whip it out and go. (They said something about God and their responsibility to leave neighborhoods cleaner when they find them). I could sense that my friend was about to run out to the car and get a diaper or something, so I kicked him under the table and told him it was time to go.
We talked on the way home, and he told me he was pretty sure the dude was wearing a diaper, too. He even thought he smelled baby powder. I told him that I didn't, and he told me my nose was probably immune to it. "I mean, you bathe in the stuff," were his exact words.
But I thought about it when I went home.
These kids ride around all over.
I see them in neighborhoods even the police don't want to ride in.
I've seen them biking, in pairs, in places where they may be the only white people who've ventured through without the safety of a car in weeks.
I've seen them riding in rich neighborhoods where every door has a "no soliciting" sign.
And I've even seen them riding on country roads.
Diapers might help.
[SIDE NOTE: FOR THOSE I TALK WITH ON THE PHONE... REMIND ME TO TELL YOU MY FUNNY MORMON HIGH RISE STORY. HEHEHE.]
So I went online, to Google, and I typed in
Do Mormons Wear...
And I was surprised by what showed up.
I was going to finish that with diapers but a lot of stuff came up on its own.
Including diapers.
But what came up first was...
Do Mormons Wear Different Underwear?
And that's where I found this page.
And it turns out... they do!
Mormons, it says, wear 'different underwear' to 'remind them' of their pledge to live by God's will.
WTF?
I'm not sure if I would want my underwear reminding me of something like that.
Although my 'underwear' often 'reminds me' that I'm not a grownup, so I guess I get the general idea. (Maybe me and Mormons aren't so different after all hehehe).
It goes on to explain that said underwear is not a 'secret' - but then does nothing to explain what's so different about Mormon underwear.
So I'm asking any of my Mormon readers... care to share?
What is so different about your underwear?
And... is it possible my little missionary friend was wearing a diaper to avoid having to go potty in public? Anyone else here ever done it or know someone who did?
Just wondering... pretty crazy right?
