Ineffectiveness

Not going to call anyone out, but it's pretty clear to me that a few people have come into some of the ABDL private groups on Facebook just to stir up some shit this week - on all sides, really. If you've come into the groups to take a stand, why not lose some of the vitriol and try to educate those who don't seem to understand why people are saying Black Lives Matter? Name-calling and insults aren't contributing shit to your argument, so if your entire presence in those conversations consists of you acting horrified at someone else's opinion,.. how very counterproductive of you. Telling people to leave the Facebook groups in disgust isn't improving the community in any way - it's just giving you a feeling of victory if they actually leave. Woo hoo, you won... what, exactly? 

Some people I've seen posting this week have suddenly realized that our community isn't all-inclusive. Honey, if that wasn't obvious to you a long time ago, you need to open your eyes. With its cliques and its exclusivity, this community is no different from any other. You think there weren't members who are prejudiced? Count the likes... you can see the prejudice in real time up and down your feed. 

One of the private groups on Facebook I belong to has 1,800+ members. Like it or not, its membership is made up of people from all around the globe, and all across the United States, including some of the most backwoods, ignorant parts of it. We are all connected by one thing: diapers. That doesn't mean that every single segment of society isn't otherwise represented here... they are, and it becomes obvious when something like this comes up. 

I've seen people on the BLM side, the ALM side, people who haven't taken a side, and even POC talking about leaving that group today, so I had to go there to see what was going down. It was ugly. Namecalling. Insults. People threatening to leave the group. People ordering others to leave the group. People leaving the group. People apparently being kicked out of the group. On and on...

I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE... DON'T LEAVE THE GROUPS. Don't take all your pictures down in a huff. Don't deactivate your Twitter account. Don't give up on the community in a fit of despair because a small number of its members have posted some ignorant shit. Let me open up my inbox so you can see some of the worst corners of the community come alive... a little time with some of the ABDLs who message me, and I think you'll realize that just about everyone in your extended circle is someone who is at least somewhat reasonable... and probably worth trying to help to understand your point of view, if you're up for the challenge. 

(I'm sure some of y'all get the same messages.)

Vitriol... anger... insults... name calling... all on full display in the threads in these groups (and on social media in general) this week, and all completely ineffective at actually helping someone learn more about your point of view. Take a deep breath before you reply to someone's post. If you want to say something to someone that is likely to put them on the defense, consider sending them a private message and open up a dialogue.

And seriously... stop with the quitting the community. Be a LEADER... not just by typing some words on social media, but by seeking out those in our community who are excluded from events and other functions, and including them. De-clique your cliques. And stay put in the groups... leaving just shortchanges our community as a whole. If someone's put in the effort to take a diaper pic they're obviously proud of, give it a like - even if they're not the race, age, or body type you're generally looking for on Grindr. Show support on an individual level, person by person, and not just the comments on a post about discrimination. 

This week has exposed a whole lot about our community - things I think a POC could probably already have told you a long time ago. People who previously found these groups to be their ABDL/littlespace refuge may want to unfollow them for a while. For everyone else... at least keep it civil. It might not be worth trying to educate Karen in the Fox News comments about why her opinion is outdated and even racist, but if its someone in our community... it just may be worth your time. Stop clutching your pearls and declaring your absolute shock that "those type of people" exist in such an "inclusive community." They've been here the whole time... you just weren't paying attention. 

By the way, this isn't the only argument we're going to face... if you think things are bad now, just wait until the lead-up to Election 2020... as much as I think we should all be on the same side, we're not, and things are going to get ugly. 

In the meantime, to all of those who've actually taken the time to try to educate our community in a civil way... keep it up. ✊🏾