[CWIS'S NOTE] Up today I have a Q&A from someone brand new to the blog: LittleSkywalker. You have probably seen his pictures around Tumblr, where he is a frequent advocate against the marginalization of stuffies. He took this seriously and did a great job on it - be sure to read all the way through for a special message to the community at the end.
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Q&A with LittleSkywalker
Name/Nick: LittleSkywalker
Age: 23
City/State/Country: San Francisco, California
AB/DL/BabyFur/Other? AB/DL
When did you first realize you were ABDL?
I probably realized it when I hit puberty as most do. But I genuinely remember being back in preschool, and trying to steal diapers from the other kids that were still in them. One of my best friends at the time was still in pull-ups, and I vividly remember one day making a secret plan to switch my underroos with him. Sadly, I can’t remember if it happened, but most likely not. But its safe to say that as soon as I got out of diapers, I was rearing to get back in.
What steps did you take to get your diaper 'fix' as a child and/or teen?
I actually don’t remember much other than taking them from family members who still had young kids, and trying to sneak them out of their houses. When I was a little older, around 16 and I could finally drive, was when I think I first bought Goodnites at the drugstore. Of course at the time like everyone, I was petrified. But now I walk up to the counter like it’s no big deal. The things we learn with age *sigh*.
How does being an ABDL interact with your “normal life”?
You know, diapers don’t define me. And I think that gets lost on a lot of people. I’m a normal boy aside from the crinkles coming from my pants. I like to run, swim, hike, play video games, eat pizza, photography, painting, you name it, i’m “normal.” Diapers are normal for me in a way as well. Of course I see them as special and they do make me feel all warm and gooey inside. But they don’t define me, nor does being little. I like to go out and be big sometimes, go a bar with friends, or just have a quiet day at home reading a book. Not everything in my life revolves around my littleness. Not that there isn’t anything wrong with those who do like to go all out in that way, it’s just not for me. That being said, If I was in a position to socially to go 24/7, I think I would, but it would pertain to diapers, and not be a baby 24/7 if that makes sense.
Do your parents and/or siblings know about you and diapers? If so, please explain how, and how they reacted?
My parents have found my diapers before, nothing much had been said of it. Other than why are they they there: “Uh, I don’t know” usually was a good enough answer to end the conversation as it was an awkward topic. But it has never been formally brought up or spoken about.
Have you dealt with the shame and regret that is the binge/purge cycle? Please explain.
Absolutely. You’re like, ah this is awesome! And then you think you’re a freak. It took me probably until I was about 18 or 19 to finally stop that cycle. For anyone that has been through it, it’s pretty shitty. You spend your allowance on diapers, and then throw them out. Not a really good place to be in. For anyone going through that now, I don’t think there’s a way to avoid it, other than knowing it’s ok. I think one of the things that helped me most was a photoset that someone posted. It was a photoshopped version of an Abena bag, and it basically replaced the instructions with phases like “This makes you happy, and some people get their happiness from far worse places, i.e. drugs, alcohol. This doesn’t hurt you or anyone else, so be yourself” or something along those lines.
Tell me about Stiles, and your Jersey
Stiles is a fictional character from the MTV show Teen Wolf. He’s the ultimate spaz, a bit (or wholly) neurotic, but also endearing and loyal to his friend Scott, and his pack. I see myself as him, in a lot of ways. I think overall we behave the same, and share a lot of the same characteristics, which is why i’ve kind of adopted him as my spirit animal. The jersey, is his number and name, and I guess it kind of just expands upon my obsession. Additionally, outside of the swim team I was never very good at sports (a la Stiles) but unlike him, I let my inability and lack of coordination result in not even attempting to try out for any teams. It probably one of my deepest regrets, so I think the jersey also sort of helps me relive what could have been.
For collegebabies/DLs, did this interest affect your college experiences? If so, how?
Eh…you can say it did. When I had my own dorm/room was when I was finally free to wear…um..freely. It never affected my love life, but my roommates did find out. One of my buddies was using my bathroom, and he came out and loudly announced “WHY ARE THERE DIAPERS IN YOUR TRASH?” And I was mortified, I just explained that they were for some wetting issues which got a follow up “ARE YOU WEARING ONE NOW?!.” After that conversation, it wasn’t brought up again, but everyone knew. So I was comfortable with wearing around them from that point on.
Some experts believe that we become the way we are because of traumas experienced at an early age, including abuse and/or neglect. Do your life experiences bear this out?
Fun story, I was adopted when I was super little, so I think abdl subconsciously came out as a coping mechanism for me to deal with that. Overarchingly I have a few abandonment issues, which I also think comes out of that. Consciously, I’m totally fine with being adopted. But maybe my subconscious wants something more.
Do your interests involve a subset of this community, such as babyfurs, diaper disciplinarians, wet/messy, sissybabies etc.? Please tell us about it. I won't even try to be specific here; just tell us what you think people should know.
Diaper disciplinarians/daddies make me happy. For me, a big aspect of being little is the caring and loving aspect, but who doesn’t like being forced to wear diapers now and again? (or all the time in my case). Diaper waistbands coming out of boys pants when they are otherwise dressed like a big boy also gets to me…in the best way possible.
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| Stenson and his caretaker |
Tell me about Stenson
Stenson is my best friend, and I love him with all my heart. Even outside of little space. I’ve gone for years without a stuffed animal, and frankly, I don’t even remember having a special one as a child. It was just something that I don’t think I ever had or used much to create a bond. Over the years, i’ve started to grow more into an AB than DL, and it’s quite an awesome transition. I’m still big inside my head, but there’s just something about a stuffie that gets me feeling little. I have two stuffies, one named Sammy, who is a sea otter, and Stenson, who I recently got from Build-A-Bear.
Sammy, was a stuffie that I got a trip with my ex, so as much as I love him, he shares some great, and not so great memories. I keep him around to remind me of a good time in my life, but it wasn’t healthy for me to continue to look at him every day and think, wish, or miss my ex.
Stenson was an impulsive purchase, which turned out to be the best decision I’ve ever made. I genuinely don’t think i’ve ever, ever, been more in little space. When he came, my heart had butterflies from excitement. I don’t think i’ve ever experienced anything more wonderful as an abdl other than the excitement that I got from when Stenson first arrived. Since then, we’ve gone on a few adventures, and he sometimes comes with me to work in my backpack. Stenson makes me feel more like a little boy than anything else, and I love every second of it. Who doesn’t think a boy carrying their teddy everywhere isn’t cute? Exactly, nobody.
What % of your sexual activities and/or masturbation incorporate diapers? Has this caused problems for you?
0-5%. Which is why I pretty much ignore all the messages and asks I get that are just like “i’m horny.” That’s nice. I think there’s a large majority of abdls/littles who use diapers to feel safe and comfy. Everyone likes to get off now and again, but honestly, that sort of thing isn’t really for me.
If you get into the regression aspect of ABDL please tell us more about that. If you do not, and you have feelings about being lumped into a fetish involving it, explain how it makes you feel.
Oh hell yeah. I love the idea of being dressed down and being taken down a few pegs. There’s something special about being taken out of your big boy clothes and into something soft and crinkly, with a cute onesie and a paci clipped to your shirt. Regression for me is sort of 50/50. Half forced, half willing. Forced part is being made to wear the cute clothes and diaps. The willingness part falls to you, where you can continue to be 23, or accept that you’re really only 4 inside. I choose the latter :)
- A note:
I want everyone who reads this, to know a few things. I think there is a perception in the abdl community that not everyone is cute, or not everyone is worthy of being “tumblr famous.” Alright, well, that’s bullshit. Some of the nicest people i’ve ever talked to have like 10 followers, and everyone is cute when they’re little. You don’t need cute clothes, you don’t need expensive diapers. You don’t need anything to be little, except being yourself. That being said, i’m acutely aware that was raised by a well off family, and that it’s easy for me to say these things, but I think the overall tumblr community could be a bit more open to accepting everyone, rather than just the twinks or jocks with every diaper imaginable.. Everyone has worth :)
Just remember, it’s what’s on the inside that matters.
