[CWIS'S NOTE] Up today I have a Q&A with Joel. You probably know Joel from Twitter (@thatlittlejoel). He's a 19 year old college baby who's active on the platform and always coming up with fresh new content. Give him a follow after you read his story! Thanks for taking the time to answer the questions, Joel!
Want to do a Q&A for my blog? Email me at abysitter@gmail.com - just put "Q&A" in the subject, and I'll reply with the questions.
Q&A With Joel
Name/Nick: Call me Joel
Age: 19
City/State/Country: Wisconsin, U.S.A
AB/DL/BabyFur/Other? I lean further on the AB side. However, naughty thoughts come around sometimes so slightly DL. I would say 90% AB and 10% DL.
When did you first realize you were ABDL?
So, I was a bedwetter for the better part of my adolescence, from 2 years old, when I was potty trained, to about 14 and 15 years old. During my time of bedwetting, I wore pull ups and it was embarrassing. Whenever I made friends I would have to have the talk about my bedwetting when the eventual sleepover happened. Most times they were sympathetic and I even knew a few people who were also bedwetters. I did not have any traumatic experiences while bedwetting thankfully. Bedwetting was just something embarrassing that lingered a little too long for my liking. When I finally, finally beat being a bedwetter I felt something I was not expecting. I felt myself missing being diapered. Now it did not happen right away. I was happy I was not a bedwetter anymore. I did not have to worry about going to sleepovers and putting on a pull up secretly. But diapers started growing on me. Little bits here and there, diaper commercials, stories online, going to the store and circling the baby aisle. Eventually around 15-16 I fully grew into it. I liked diapers.
What steps did you take to get your diaper 'fix' as a child and/or teen?
I had a steady supply of siblings, people who had youngsters come into our home or people’s houses we went to. Like I said I was a bedwetter for a bit. I had goodnites until I stopped bedwetting. After I stopped bedwetting, I had a few pull ups left that quickly got used. After the goodnites were depleted, I stole pull ups from my sisters who were just beginning potty training. I stole diapers or pull ups from friend's houses. Even though I wanted diapers, I never got diapers that would not fit me outright. I mean they did not totally fit me considering, but I never got diapers or pull ups that were way too small. I do not know why, considering I could have taped them together or just put them in my underwear. Anyway I digress. It was nerve wracking stealing those diapers, obviously, sneaking into a baby’s room is weird enough and then taking diapers I mean if I got caught, which surprisingly I never did, would be devastating. Eventually I was too chicken to steal from my friend's houses. However, what is most probable is my conscious kicked in. Eventually I got a job, coincidentally, as a custodian for a daycare. I mean if you are reading this you should know where this is going, I took diapers. I was lucky enough to have that job for most of highschool but as I grew the diapers stopped fitting. So I boldly bought throw away gift cards from walmart and bought adult diapers from the internet.
Oofta I cringe about this, I have gotten caught a few times. The first time was when I was 14. It was winter. I just received a new phone and had been spending an awful amount of time on it. My mother one night asked me what I was doing and I was reading a diaper story on zity.biz. I quickly went out of safari and played dumb saying subway surfers or something. However, I did not realize about browser history. I think you can figure out what happened. Parents confronted me about those stories I was reading. I honestly do not know what I said to defend myself, all I remember was my safari was disabled and I was not able to go into the internet for a while. I was 15/16 when I got caught the second time. I found tumblr and started to find myself on there, I snooped the abdl’s on tumblr, in the beginning staying as an anonymous user for a little bit. As I started to become accustomed to tumblr I made an account and started just re-blogging content and just talking about my day. Nothing really exciting. Soon after, I found the age regression community and started to interact with their user base. I felt like I belonged there. I talked to others around my age and felt as if I could call some of them my friends. My dad found my tumblr. He wanted to go onto my phone for whatever reason and I let him and what do you know a notification popped up while he was on it. So of course he clicked on it and saw my profile and all that jazz. GOD I wanted to die. He talked to me minimally about it just asked what I was doing and whether it was healthy. I said it made me happy. It made me feel as if the world was a less scary place. He left it at that. He thought it was a phase The last and hopefully final time was when I was 16 I was close to turning 17, it was spring. I think what brought about this one, was someone died at our school and then someone committed suicide so the whole school was mourning and just being generally depressed. Now I did not know either of the people well but the emotions of everyone else got to me and I was not doing well emotionally or physically. I do not recall well what brought them to snooping around, all I know was they asked if I should go to therapy and whether the diapers and onesies and pacifier was again healthy or productive for me. I denied that I needed therapy, I was just sad and that those things just helped me cope. My dad looked up online and kinda said to me, “if this is not dangerous for you and if this helps that’s fine, just know as you grow up, how are you going to keep doing this if you have a wife or kids?
Oh... My... God.. (chandler bing) yes I have. I can tell you it is not productive, you would think after the first time or even the second you would get over it. But NOPE. Each time I purged I regretted it. In the beginning when it was just me, it was not so bad. I threw away a diaper or two and that was that. But as I started going onto social media, started buying more and more stuff it became worse. I deleted tumblr multiple times, I got rid of tons of diapers, threw away onesies galore, it was so unhealthy. When you are flying high it feels like nothing can touch you, but then something in your brain just clicks or someone finds out and the world comes crashing down on you. You feel yourself not expressing yourself, closing yourself off, just being negative or putting on a facade. Now I am not saying ABDL is everything to me, but it is a part of me. When negativity and questions of what ABDL is, you do not know how to answer. How do you answer to someone or to yourself why you tick this way or why you feel the way you do? And sometimes it is just too much and you throw it all away.
For collegebabies/DLs, did this interest affect your college experiences? If so, how?
It does not affect me significantly. Packing and moving is a pain because, “Well, hello, why is there a diaper in your clothes?” is something I do not want to go through. You gotta find ways to diaper up discreetly and throw them away. But, if anything, being at college has given me more freedom. I do not have to think about the print of my onesies, because nobody will question a dino onesie, it may just be my brand or a fun shirt I found at goodwill. I do not have to worry about the crinkle of the diaper because nobody pays attention to that. Nobody knows me, and they do not know I am trying to hide something from them.
How has this fetish affected your social life and/or dating? Married life? Parenting?Socially not much. I definitely have wanted to hang out and be a part of the ABDL community in person more and more, but it is hard for me to go out and do that. I do not go out much so it is hard for me to find others who share the same interest as that. I am still growing though I still live at home with my parents and I am okay with that but eventually when I am out of college I want to go out and find people who are a part of this community. My current friends do not know nor do they really need to, I do not think it would be productive to tell them. As far as the dating scene goes, I am a single pringle, dating is not really on my mind at the moment. I, definitely, get lonely sometimes and think about how awesome it would be to have someone to share this same interest but it is not something I would actively seek out.
Some experts believe that we become the way we are because of traumas experienced at an early age, including abuse and/or neglect. Do your life experiences bear this out?
Yes and no. I was adopted, however I was adopted at an age where I do not remember it, so honestly maybe in the way back of my head it is subconsciously laying the ABDL foundation. I have had a few moments of hey maybe it was this, my mother had cancer when I was 8 and I had to take care of my younger siblings but it was not something that scarred me. My mom said, I became curious about where I came from and I had an idea, of oh how fun would it be to meet her, but not something I adamantly wanted. You know kids being kids and dumb stuff throughout my life maybe could have triggered it. But honestly in truth I have had a very privileged life! My parents love and care for me, they want me to succeed, and live a healthy and active life. I have twin brother whom I love dearly, five younger siblings, four sisters and another brother, all who I am thankful for. I have grown up with everything I have ever needed and things I have wanted. My life experiences do not really reflect that in the whole scheme of things.
Some people have pointed out their observation that a larger-than-average number of multiple birth babies (twins, etc.) rep the ABDL lifestyle. If you are one of these, please explain what effect, if any, you feel this may have had on your ABDLishness.
I mean I am a twin, but I do not think it makes a big difference, more of a coincidence. I think maybe if anything how many siblings plays a part and how much responsibility you have helps with ABDL. If you are the oldest or have the most responsibility, you feel obligated to set an example and maybe you just do not want that. You want to be more carefree.
For the little dunces, please tell us about what it was like to discover this fetish/lifestyle on the Internet. Please be at least 18 at the time of writing, but be specific about what age you discovered it, what sites helped you, and keep this part PG for obvious reasons.
So I tried very hard to not interact with this community until I was 18, I am not going to lie it did not work. I did some dumb things and really I regret it very much. Diaper.Bois is one I found by chance. I read stories from Zity.biz and SoFurry. I found some artwork on youtube and other sites that I cannot recall. I found myself on tumblr and then twitter stalking my favorite people. Honestly the things you can do through the internet are crazy nowadays. My parents had the foresight to take away my internet for a bit so I mean I could not get into trouble for a while. So I guess I was lucky enough to not make bigger mistakes
What % of your sexual activities and/or masturbation incorporate diapers? Has this caused problems for you?
So story time, or not really story more of an anecdote. I made a decision to try and limit and separate abdl from sex. Part of it gave me an excuse if I got caught, like no this is not a sex thing it is a coping thing or something along those lines. It also gave me a way to separate it from pedophilia, which I know a lot of people would think not knowing about abdl. There is a stigma to it and I wanted to try to negate that. I see ABDL for me as an outlet to just let go and feel innocent and sex is not a part of it. Now that does not mean I have not masturbated in a diaper, I have, but I try not to do that as it makes me feel gross after.
If you get into the regression aspect of ABDL please tell us more about that. If you do not,
and you have feelings about being lumped into a fetish involving it, explain how it makes
you feel.
Just the innocence of letting go and letting yourself be free. Sucking on a pacifier and
being content. A comfort item or blankie to hold or wrap yourself with and feeling all warm
inside. Taking pictures and posing in onesies and overalls people telling you that you are cute
and so precious. Playing with toys and creating a world to play in. I mean there are so many
more examples that just make me melt. Just knowing and having something you can escape to is
lovely. I get to experience being a child even though I still really am a child. Life moves too
quickly to grow up and I want to experience moments where I do not have to be an adult.
Don't let yourself be limited by my questions. If you have anything else at all that you
would like to say please feel free to say it here:
I honestly cannot believe I am a part of this community. I have met so many cool people online and I cannot wait to actually meet them in person one day. You get to experience cool things. I never would have imagined working for an ABDL company, and it is all because I love taking pictures. I get to open up about ABDL and share my experiences. I am just so happy to be a part of such a fun and diverse community!
