I'm looking for a graphic designer for help with some graphics and illustrations for the blog and my upcoming Abysitter's Guide to ABDL.
Interested? Email me at abysitter@gmail.com. Be prepared to share a few examples of your work.
Discretion assured.
Thanks,
Cwis
The #1 and #2 ("Looking for blog contributors!", February 14, 2010 and "Visiting Orlando? Let's hang... FAQs", February 15, 2010) are both from a full year before. The #4 blog entry is my Christmas entry from 2008, and #5 ("Baby Pictures: Shawn - Part II") is also from early 2010.
But the third most popular blog entry - and rising - is "Message".
And I'm glad about that, because of all the entries I've written, none mean more to me than this one.
I'm linking to it from the front page of my blog, again, for two reasons.
First, I have a TON of new blog readers. Many make me aware that they've read back months, even years. Some even claim to have read from start to finish. Still, this is blog entry number 517 since November 2008; it would be easy to miss one.
Second, following my recent entry on independence ("Do Unto Others..." February 7) I've had an outpouring of messages, both from abies who are wondering if they're the subject of my writings and from friends of abies who believe they have friends in our community who may be. I have heard some stories that saddened me, and I've talked to some abies and DLs who are pretty depressed about the situations they're in. Since I'm sure I've only heard from a fraction of those out there... "Message."
Please read... comment... and use the buttons at the very bottom of the entry to share.
Y'all really ARE dope as fuck...
Carollo's victory: Diaper changing stations coming to Miami men's rooms - Miami-Dade - MiamiHerald.com
http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/02/06/2627594/carollos-victory-diaper-changing.html
While I sometimes find it cute that a person engages in role-play, and has to ask their daddy for permission to do this or do that, before you offer to submit pictures to a blog or website, perhaps asking your daddy first would be the right order to do it. I work full-time, have an active social life, and try to Pamp up on a regular basis. This blog takes a lot of my time, and being a part of your role-play experience takes away from that. But that's just me...
[Note: this doesn't apply if I hit you up and you want to solicit the advice of someone, or make sure it won't be a problem for whoever you are in a relationship with, before you commit to allowing your photos to be used somewhere. That is understandable, and a different situation entirely. But please, don't hit me up regarding showcasing your pictures if you are going to just involve me in a role-play scenario or are doing it to try to make someone else jealous. And I say this knowing full well that it will probably result in at least one or two people saying they weren't able to get permission to share pictures on my blog. If that is the case, so be it.]
But I digress.
I'm actually writing this entry for a different reason. It involves the ownership/possession issue, and it is an entry that people have requested that I write for a long time.
You see, I get hit up on a fairly regular basis from members of our community who are upset about one thing or another.
If a 'diaper group' kicks one diaperboy out of the 'house', they hit me up. It's almost guaranteed.
If a 'family' has a member that is dissatisfied with something - anything - I get an email or a text message.
I even get messages from people who were in happy relationships that were ruined by nurserywreckers from within our community, lol.
A lot of times the people who message me want to meet up for some babysitting to soothe their hurt feelings.
Or they just want to talk.
Sometimes they just want revenge, to sell out the secrets that the people they were formerly associated with probably would rather nobody know.
I listen. I give advice. And then I tell them to chill out, and be patient.
Because if there is one thing I have learned about relationships within the ABDL community, it is that they don't last long... or, they last forever.
In the past few months I've gotten messages from people within our community who are upset because they feel like some members of our community lack the ability to be independent.
And, to a degree, I agree with them.
They remember my blog posts from my MySpace blog, where I talked about my experiences randomly messaging people in communities I was traveling in back in 2006.
I met a lot of dope-ass diaperboys, and did a fair amount of sitting on my road trip.
But I was also frustrated by several messages from people who expressed the inability to meet up without first obtaining permission from a certain daddy, or a group.
I was new to the ABDL community at the time, having had most of my 80 or so diapering experiences with people who aren't really into diapers.
I didn't know how it works, and each message that I received made me wonder if some of the people that I was speaking with were... differently-abled?
Slow? I don't know how else to say it.
Who can't meet up with someone without obtaining other people's permission?!
I came to the conclusion that some of the members of our community I was communicating with were just role-playing. But a few others really didn't have the penis to stand on their own two feet. And that made me sad.
What really made me sad was, I got messages from several people who told me they couldn't hang out unless I met other members of their group. Later, when they were cast off from said group following an episode of diaper drama, they hit me up, all excited and ready to chill. Uh, no thanks.
It also made me sad because I became friends with a collegebaby who seemed like one of the most intelligent and self-assured people I'd ever spoken with in the community. We were friends on Facebook and shared phone calls and text messages for months; following a period of almost a week in which I didn't hear from him I went to Facebook and found that I'd been deleted. He had joined a diaper group which had 'rules' - one of them being no consorting outside of the group without permission. To say I was disappointed is an understatement.
And it also made me sad because I moved to a new city and almost immediately began hanging out with a friend who I've featured in the blog before. He is adorable, funny, and a loyal-as-fuck friend. Other people saw that, and were jealous of our friendship. Instead of just talking to him like he was an individual, an independent person capable of forming his own thoughts, the people who were messaging him did everything in their power to try to insinuate that he was under my control, and should hang out with their 'group' so that he could experience their brand of community. Before he could do that, though, he had to end our friendship. Rules, you see. So my little nug Vuk, for whom loyalty is ultra-important - the kid has separation anxiety and abandonment issues - took to sharing chatlogs and conversations with me that gave me some real insight into what members of our "community" consider that word to be.
Our community often consists of control. Controlling daddies, and boys who are desperate to be controlled.
But that is how a lot of our community is. We are desperate to make that ABDL connection, and when we do, some of us will actually allow others among us to tell us what we can and can't do. Some of us even prefer to live our lives this way.
I know this not only because of my own experiences, but because I have gotten emails from a number of people who belong to different groups or cliques. They are looking for something different, for a fresh start, for something new. They've read my blog, or they know how I used to do the Pampers-for-pay thing, and they hit me up with proposals: they will move to Orlando, cut ties with this daddy or that group leader, and follow whatever rules I give them.
That's a cute idea in theory, but in practice I don't think I would be able to handle it.
Don't get me wrong: I would love to have a full-time baby.
But by "full-time" I mean someone for whom our lifestyle is a major, or the major, part of their life. But not the ONLY part of their life.
I value loyalty just like anyone else does.
But I value freethinking and independence just as much.
If you want to meet me, I will never insist that you also meet any other person to give the okay.
I will never have to ask permission to hang out with you.
Nobody will make me feel guilty for being your friend.
I don't tolerate that bullshit.
And everyone in my life knows it.
And, I am looking for people like me.
I find people who are able to act on their own to be such a turn-on.
When Vuk declined an invite to meet someone because they'd told him that I was chatting with them on Yahoo talking shit about him - while I was actually sitting next to him watching the chat all the while - it was one of my proudest moments as a member of the ABDL community.
But that incident really underscores what our community can be: controlling, devious, underhanded, scheme-y... insert a whole list of negative words here, but I'm sure you get the idea.
I know that there are groups of positive people within our community pocketed all across the United States. I have talked to people who have told me that the groups that get together in their cities are one of the most positive aspects of their lives. I have been invited to events in Atlanta, Dallas, Chicago, Philly, and a few other cities. And with these invites came no requirements... no requirement that I meet a controlling member of the group first, nothing. Just a group of people who like to socialize in diapers, and like to invite others in.
That's what's up.
But I am well aware that, in many other cities, there are groups which revolve around control. Cliques, really. Once you're in, you must cut ties to the other people in your ABDL life. And getting out is kind of like leaving the mafia lol... you only leave in a cardboard Huggies box.
So I do my best to determine whether the people I am reaching out to are independent, or need to be dependent.
Often it is not easy to tell.
But I will tell you this.
There is nothing more of a turn on then an independent collegebaby who is not only capable of running his own life, but who insists upon it.
I have been very lucky to meet a number of young men like this.
One of my friends is a college student who travels all across the country. I have been fortunate enough to have him visit me here in Orlando. I know he loves to roleplay, but the idea of him ever needing to get permission before he can come see me again is as far-fetched is anything I can think of.
Another of my friends works in the airline industry as a pilot. He visits Orlando on a regular basis, and I've had more than my fair share of abysitting sessions. He is forever railing against the number of people he has almost met who stood him up because, at the last minute, they couldn't obtain permission from someone. And this has happened to him in cities across the country, so it's pretty much nationwide. The idea of him ever telling me he needed to get permission to visit is ludicrous.
I also have a close friend who is a member of a diaper group, and has been ordered not to associate with people outside of the group without permission. We have hung out many times on his visits to my hometown, but as often as he's posed in adorable diaper poses, we can't do pictures because he is afraid that he will anger others. This is a turnoff, but I tolerate it because he's so fucking adorable. Lol.
And a few weeks ago I babysat a hot straightboy, a freshman from the local university. It turns out he'd already had the chance to talk to others in the area before me, but one of the people he talked with had talked to him about expectations that he would have for him if he was allowed him to attend some sort of group event that was coming up in Florida.
"What is this dude, my fucking father?" he asked me. "I came to school five hours away from home so I could get away from rules, not have more."
I spanked him for swearing, and gave him all kinds of rules for the day. But he must've mentioned five or six times that his expectations were that any rules he was required to follow would only last as long as our session.
And then, my friends, is what I like.
So as much as I appreciate a loyal friend, and as much as I would like to have that daddy-type relationship, it could never happen with someone who was not able to stand on their own two feet.
Now that I've ranted and raved, it's time to explain why I am really writing this entry.
[Note: If you read this far, you really deserve a special prize. I wish I could give you something through the blogosphere. But I can't, so I'll just give you more blog entry... keep reading.]
Within the last month or two I have been hit up by community members with a variety of different grapes.
• One was upset because he had sent a message to an ex-boyfriend and had not gotten a reply. After messaging him one or two more times, worried, the DL finally got back to him - to let him know that he was not allowed to write anymore, because the ex's new boyfriend did not approve. My friend was understandably upset, because he had considered them friends even after the breakup.
• Another was upset because he had made special flight arrangements for a layover in a city where he was supposed to be met by someone he'd spent a lot of time talking to on FetLife. He had traded in some of his frequent flyer miles to make these arrangements. When he arrived he spent the night in the next day alone in a hotel room. It wasn't until he returned home that the person he was supposed to meet apologized. It turned out that person's "daddy" had gotten upset upon learning that his "son" was going to meet up with another AB his own age, and that the "daddy" hadn't been invited. He explained to my friend that he wasn't allowed to call him because he had been "grounded for breaking daddy's rules."
WTF?
The kicker was that these two had talked for more than a year, and the daddy had never been mentioned.
• A third was upset because he had been talking to someone in his hometown for a long time. Over the summer, that person had joined a group/family/clique in a whole nother city. His friend had recommended that he try to "get in" too - so that they could continue to hang out. My friend was offended, understandably.
• Another felt that he had a special dad/son relationship with someone. He had paid for the young person to fly out to visit him several times, and even paid for things like his cell phone. It probably should have been obvious to him that he was being used, but it wasn't until someone blew up the kids situation on a message board: he had a different "daddy" in several cities - and they were all, combined, bankrolling the operation.
• Yet another messaged me, extremely disappointed, because some of his ABDL friends were planning a trip to a convention, and had not invited him to go. He was just looking for advice on whether he should ask to join them, foot the bill for the trip on his own, or avoid it altogether. But I got a sense of how disappointed he was, and how his identity was really tied into the identity of the people he considered his friends in this community.
• Finally, I talked to a young AB who called my phone at 3 a.m. one morning, over and over until I answered. Wtf? I was highly annoyed at first, but the kid was sobbing and we talked for a few hours. His situation was simple: he had had a number of friends in a group in his city, and considered them his brothers, the best friends he'd ever had. Earlier that night he had gone into a chat room without logging in - the chat room showed "guest" - and it stayed in for thirty minutes while some of the others made fun of him. Worse, they were planning a weekend trip, and someone had told the group not to tell him or another member of the group.
"I feel like I lost my family," he told me. He went on to explain that he lost his real family around his junior year of high school, when they had kicked him out after finding out he was gay, and this had basically been a replacement for him. "How can I ever trust them again?"
I have actually gotten other messages a lot like these in past months and years as well. But so many coming so close together made me realize that our community has a real problem.
It's a problem of a need for dependency. A problem of lack of independence. A problem of loyalty. Maybe a problem of all of the above?
For those who are less independent, more easily controlled, and desperately in need of a sense of community, the problem is probably unnoticeable.
But for anyone who's ever invested time and energy into a diaper-based friendship only to find it undermined by the other person's [insert controllable quality here], it sucks.
It happened to me four years ago, and from the messages I get I can say it happens often.
I'm sure there are way more messages that I haven't gotten, which makes me wonder how many times this has happened to people who haven't complained.
What is it about people in our community that makes it so easy for them to screw over other people?
Why do some members of our community feel such a desperate need to control others?
Why do some members of our community have such a desperate longing to be controlled?
Is belonging to a group of people who share your love for diapers so important that you are willing to flush your values down the toilet?
From the messages I get, it kind of seems like it.
And that sucks.
Think about whether YOU are someone who could be the "other person" in any of the scenarios above.
If you are, examine your character.
Both your ABDL character, and your character as a person.
Or, at the very least, evaluate the character of those you call a "community."
And hey... if you read the scenarios above and you thought "Damn, some people have problems..." good for you!
And if you are a collegebaby, or a college-aged DL, who is able to be independent, and has some self-assurance and enough self-esteem to get through life on your own terms... HIT ME UP! I want to hear from you.
You guys are what makes our "community" great.
I've been lucky enough to meet a few dozen of you, and I look forward to meeting many more.
There is nothing hotter than a collegebaby with independence, drive, ambition, and ideals.
And if you are a loyal friend but treat other people - all people - nicely, that is a turn-on, too.
- Cwis
abysitter@gmail.com
Happy Birthday To You...
Happy Birthday Dear [______]
Happy Birthday To Youuuuuu.
Proud of you, bro...
Read on...
"Did George rape Dirani with a nightstick? He vehemently denies this. Dirani's anus suffered injuries which may be the result of such a rape; George claims they are the result of constipation. According to his version, Dirani was suffering from constipation and so his interrogators forced him to swallow a laxative, and then forced him to wear a diaper. Dirani claimed that he was forced to wear the diapers even when they were full of excrement. This method of humiliating a prisoner by forcing him to wallow in his feces is known from various other torturous regimes – it was used, among others, by the Americans in Abu Ghraib. George's explanation – constipation – sounds somewhat dubious."
Read the whole article:
Disgraced ex-military interrogator threatens to reveal government secrets
http://972mag.com/disgraced-military-interrogator-blackmails-government/34643/
"Steven Slade, 44, a former Windsorite living in Scarborough, was arrested after he allegedly spent two months chatting with undercover officers posing as 14- and 15-year-old children. Police said he came to Windsor from Toronto on Feb. 1 to meet the fictional children.
Slade previously spent time behind bars after an arrest in Sept. 2008. At the time, he lived the 400 block of Bruce Avenue.
In that case, neighbours were concerned about the way he conducted himself in the neighbourhood.
One suspicious mother checked him out online and found his public Facebook profile, with a picture of him wearing only a diaper.
The mother contacted him as if she was a young boy and started up a discussion.
She then turned it over to police. The investigation ended up with Slade facing two counts of luring what he thought was a 15-year-old boy into having sex.
He was on probation for that conviction when he allegedly committed the latest offence."
The 12 Most Disturbing Fetishes To Keep You Up At Night - Oddee.com (keep you up, strange fetishes)
