Reader Mail: Letter of Thanks

[CWIS'S NOTE] I am going back through my email trying to find stuff I haven't seen before, including photos, letters, and guest entries. This email actually just arrived today. I'll have more in the days and weeks ahead. 

Reminder: Email me at abysitter@gmail.com. But if you are sending me something that you would specifically like to see posted on this blog, please state that in the email. I try not to post stuff that's meant to be private, for me, but sometimes I can't tell. Thanks!

Dear Cwis,

I am a junior in college in Boston. I have been reading your blog since the day I turned 18, literally. Maybe even a little bit before that, but I'm not telling…

I have appreciated your blog for a few years now. I recognize that your blog is different from nearly every other website or blog within the AB/DL community, at least the ones I've seen, in that you care about us as a community, and not just yourself. Also, the fact that your blog stays away from posting obvious photos of children, as so many Tumblr blogs and even some real AB/DL blogs do, is a plus. I respect you as a blogger more than I do most others. When you weigh in on a topic in the forums on RUPadded or Diaper-Bois.com your opinion gets more respect from me, and others, than that of a normal AB/DL person.

I'm not writing to go on and on about you, though. I am writing to let you know about an experience I had over the weekend, and how you played a role in it.

Last spring I got a message from a young AB/DL. He had just graduated high school, and was going to be attending the same school I do here in Boston. He had found me on RUPadded. He'd never met another AB/DL, since there really aren't any near where he lives. He saw me online, hit me up with a chat message, and asked if I'd be interested in getting to know each other. I, of course, said yes… he seemed really cool, and he's really, really attractive too, certainly not a downside in our community. We agreed we'd meet up when he got to campus.

The summer dragged on, and on and on. I had the opportunity to meet up with a few other diaper boys, and had a lot of hot fun - but I couldn't wait for [Chad] to come to campus! We talked a lot online, and eventually that turned into texting, which turned into phone calls. As July finished up and August started we were talking on the phone nearly an hour every night. It was, as you might say, magical. It seemed like we were connecting in a hundred different ways, and I couldn't wait to meet him.

He arrived on campus last week. After his parents left he called my cell.

"You on campus, bro?" he asked me.

"I sure am," I replied, excited.

"Ok," he told me. "FaceTime me and show me."

I was like… um?

I was in my dorm. I connected to wi-fi and called him on FaceTime. He answered, and I could see he was standing in front of a building, outside. He looked at me, and as his eyes adjusted to his iPhone screen he looked disappointed.

I was so sad.

But then he said "Bro, you're inside a room. How can I tell you're on campus?" And I could see he was disappointed not in me, but in the fact that I wasn't in a clearly identifiable spot on our campus. I was surprised by this. He and I had talked once about the need to be safe, but I didn't realize how serious he was. I walked across the room to my window, which has a clear view of a main building on campus, and stood in front of it, holding the phone up to show myself and the view. He immediately cracked a smile.

"I don't know the campus very well yet," he told me. I replied by telling him my dorm and room number, and he immediately looked confused. I started to explain how to find it and he interrupted me.

"We are meeting somewhere public, right?" he asked.

I was surprised, again. We'd talked. A lot. And he'd never given me any reason to think that he didn't trust me. Now he wanted to meet somewhere public? Ok…

I suggested a meeting spot, and he agreed. I hauled ass to get there and was sitting at a table, waiting, when I saw him walk in. He walked down the stairs, looking all around. Eventually our eyes met and he cautiously made his way to me. I stood up and offered a hug, which he accepted. Then I sat down. Before he did, though, he pulled out his wallet and his driver's license. I was like… ok what? He held his license out so his finger was over the address, but I could see his name, date of birth, and picture. I wasn't really sure what I was supposed to be looking for. I said "COOL BRO" and he put it away. Then he stood in front of me, not sitting down. He finally said "Can I see yours?"

At this point I had to laugh. I knew exactly what was going on. He'd read some of your blog posts about checking ID, and was doing it. I showed him my license, letting him see my address and everything. He seemed much more comfortable, and finally sat down.

"Sorry, bro," he said, "this is my first-ever meet up."

We talked for a few hours. I even got up to get a cup of coffee, and he got up to pee twice. We talked about so much. It was surprising that we had that much to talk about, since we'd already talked for hours on the phone, but we did. While it's true that we talked about college a lot, I'd say that at least half of our conversation had to do with diapers, and we honestly didn't even notice that other people seated around us might have been able to hear.

It was while we were talking that I realized how much your blog really means to people in our community.

First, it was clear to me that my new friend was pretty new in the community. I really was his first diaper meet. And he went over his criteria for meeting: first talk online; then text; then phone; then FaceTime or some kind of proof of identity; and then meet - but somewhere in public. Never in a private place - like a dorm.

"I read that on Abysitter.com," he told me matter-of-factly. "You don't EVER meet up with people in private if you're not 100% sure they're who they say they are."

My friend has never talked to you. But he's been reading your blog since high school, and told me he's even scrolled back and read every entry since the beginning. He didn't seem aware that you are just one person, and kept referring to your blog like it was an AB/DL community site. When I told him I'd texted with you before he looked pretty surprised. In fact, you might even get a text from him, because when I explained that your number is right on your blog and you'll text with anyone he was pretty stoked.

He told me how, when he was in high school, he got messages from a daddy. The messages were flattering, at first. But they quickly became creepy and, when he explained that he felt uncomfortable, they only intensified. He then found himself getting messages from other people on behalf of the daddy, people who tried to criticize him for not responding "nicely" to the daddy, and people trying to tell him to give the daddy a "second chance." These messages, too, intensified over time. It all culminated with the daddy and his boys trying to, basically, bribe him… basically offering things like free diapers, at first, and eventually offering to pay for a plane ticket for him to travel to visit.

He was a junior in high school, not quite 18, though legal in his state. He'd never met anyone into diapers before, and he told me that, after he started getting "messages from randoms" he started to be kind of scared of putting his information out there.

That's when he read a post on your blog about this very topic.

He explained to me that, after he read your blog post, it was like you'd been talking directly to him. He decided to make his first meet up with someone a special one, and to avoid daddies completely, at least at first. He chose me because we would be going to the same college and, while he had offers of travel expenses paid to meet others, he realized that any offer, be it free diapers or a plane ticket, would probably come with expectations - sexual or otherwise. He knew if he met up with someone on his terms, he could have a little control over what happened next.

"My biggest worry was meeting someone on my campus," he told me. He explained that he was concerned about blackmail. On the other hand, he'd found the dozens of pictures I've posted of myself to be a "an insurance policy against that." I had to laugh… this kid had thought it all out, 100% and then some. As he explained to me what he'd learned, I realized how much information your blog has that's of use to AB/DL's new to the community.

We'd talked for hours when I thought of your story about your first AB/DL meet up. Maybe he was waiting for me to invite him to diaper up and I was missing out on my only opportunity? With that I asked him if he wanted to go back to my room. He blushed, and asked me for what.

"Diapers?" I suggested, leaving it there.

He said he'd go, and we walked across campus together. I saw people I knew and they all had to come over to say hello, having not seen me since last semester. I introduced my new friend to all of them. One asked if he was my "little brother" and I told her "pretty much." I could see that [XXXX] seemed kind of happy when he heard that.

We got to my dorm and went up to my room. I have a single this year, and my diapers aren't well-hidden as a result. He saw one sitting on my desk right when he walked in, and started laughing, then quickly closed the door behind us.

"Wow, you've got balls," he told me. "What if your roommate gets here?"

"No roommate," I told him.

"Damn, I got three," he told me. "I'm so sad. I'm on my own, and I'll never get to wear diapers!"

With that I invited him to come over and wear at my place anytime. He looked excited and scared at the same time. And then he hit me with this:

"I think that once we get to know each other better I'm going to have to take you up on that offer."

I could see that, as much as I felt like we'd gotten to know each other, he was going to be extra cautious. And I understood why. For a brief second I thought "Damn Cwis and his blog… scaring people out of wanting to diaper up!"

But as he went through my supply of diapers, we talked, and your blog came up again. And he asked me if I'd ever read "Chris's message." And, weirdly, I knew exactly what he was referring to. I told him I had. And he told me that it was that entry, and others, that made him accept his AB/DL-side - and, he said, made him be willing to meet up in the first place.

"Without reading some of that stuff I'd still be racked with guilt, throwing away diapers just after I buy them," he told me.

I realized that your blog, and texting with you, has actually helped me a lot, too. So I had to agree with him.

"I'll be honest, bro," he told me. "After being harassed by a sex-crazed daddy and his flunky sons, I was thinking maybe meeting people was farther than I wanted to take this fetish. And if I went solely on what I read in forums on RUPadded I'd be afraid to meet anyone at all." He went on to explain that some of the entires you've written, and some of the guest entries he's read, have helped him realize how normal some of the people in our community are.

"And," he told me, "to be honest, meeting you has been one of the best things I've ever done."

Since that day we've chilled twice, and we even went on some diaper sites together, including your blog. If you ever need someone to take over your blog for a while hit up [XXXX] - he's an expert, and knows where every single entry is over the past few years.

This weekend we're going to spend Labor Day at a picnic - my friends are throwing it, and I've invited him to come along. And he has asked about spending Monday night at my place - in diapers.

He's been hit up by the daddy since he got here, but he's completely avoided him, simply deleting his messages. I got to see a few, and they really are creepy. I can honestly say that your blog helped someone avoid being victimized. And I wanted to thank you for that.

Far too many blogs just exploit our community, posting stolen pictures and pictures of minors. Yours rocks, Cwis, in that it does none of these things, and seeks to help our community instead.

I wanted to let you know that you are helping our community, and I got to see that firsthand over the past few weeks.

Please continue what you are doing….


Sincerely,
[XXXXXXX X.]