Thoughts on CAPCON: Con Drop

Con Drop. 

That's what CAPCON organizers refer to as the low feeling many participants will experience upon leaving the event, after being on a 'high' for so many days - the kind of 'high' that an ABDL can only get by being around other ABDLs. 

In a world where so many of us want to just… feel little… we entered a temporary world created just for us. For one long weekend we were in our element, surrounded by people who think like us, feel like us, and have had many of the same experiences as us. And it was magical. 

There was a space just for 'littles', with a giant ball pit, a high chair, a playpen, and even giant tricycles to ride around on. There were toys and games, fun play mats, huge stuffed animals, tables covered with coloring books and crayons, and all sorts of other things to make you feel little. 

There were classes galore on all sorts of topics, some pertinent to ABs, others to DLs, and even some to daddies and mommies. I especially enjoyed a class called "Still AB After All of these Years", lead by a panel of folks who have been in our community for many decades. I marveled at the sight of someone I remembered from my days in college; I'm not allowed to reveal participant info for confidentiality reasons, but let's just say that this person had their own website before we even had a community site, and was one of the first websites I found on infantilism. I remember thinking, then: "how intensely crazy must someone be to make their own website about this diaper shit?" Now I've had my own for eight years. If you had told me as a college student in the late 1990s that one day we'd be all sitting together celebrating our infantilism, I'd have laughed at you. Yet here we were… 

New this year was a nursery space, set up in a separate area from the main play area. It was quiet and soothing, with soft lighting and pretty colors. I walked through it and saw a changing table, a playpen, a high chair, and a crib. I'm told there was a big rocking horse, as well, although I somehow didn't see it. What I did see were ABies at peace. It was a beautiful thing. Next year I plan to enjoy that nursery myself, as a little - but more about that in a future blog entry. 

There was a pageant on Saturday night where littles had the opportunity to answer a question about what ABDL means to them, as well as show off a talent. There were quite a few talented littles, and we watched as they belted out the hits - including some popular music repurposed for the ABDL scene. At the end prizes were awarded, and raffles winners were announced, as well. There were some touching moments during the pageant, as participants become overwhelmed by their feelings, something I saw a lot of over the weekend. Many of us felt alone for so long, that realizing how un-alone we truly are is… well, overwhelming. 

There was another room filled with vendors. I bought my first-ever Nuk 5 from PacifiersRUs this weekend. You may remember that PacifiersRUs served as a sponsor of both my photo contests a few years back, and offered a special sale to Abysitter.com readers. Guess who didn't get one? That would be this guy. But I bought one at CAPCON, and I am kicking myself for not having bought one sooner. I also bought an awesome Batman lanyard and a backup Nuk 5 from LilKinkBoutique. Baby/Daddy Inky was selling products from a few different manufacturers, including some adorable patches that my good friend Baby Spencey will be adding to some overalls soon. The folks from Tykables were there selling diapers galore, and I saw quite a few people wearing Tykables t's. I remember talking to Todaler circa 2011 about how our ABDL diaper companies did very little to support our community back then, so it's especially nice to see Tykables stepping up and supporting this event. 

There were room parties, too, some private but most open to all. I enjoyed having friends to my own room - I even brought a playpen for the occasion, pictures coming soon. People met up in rooms after each nights events, or went to dinner; I was glad I got a rental car, because I went out to eat with friends and having a car helped. 

Speaking of friends… the best part, for me, was the people. 

I reunited with old friends, including a few I've chilled with in Orlando, or New York, or other places - even some I've babysat before, but who I haven't seen for a few years. 

Lots of first-time meet ups, too. It was funny to see some of the people who I've seen online so often over the years. There were people I recognized immediately just from years of seeing pictures. I met people who have submitted photos to my blog, or who've done Q&A's for it. I met people who've entered my contests. People I am Facebook friends with, or text with a lot, but who I've never met in person, I finally got to meet at this event. I wish I'd had more time to actually sit down and talk with some of them, but we often met in passing - one was volunteering at the moment, and another was in the bouncy chair. But recognizing people you've only seen online was pretty dope. Next year I think I'll host my own room party and hopefully get to actually spend time with some of the people I wish I could have gotten to know better at this event. 

I did get to hang out with some of the people I've gotten to know via the diaper sites, and I found out that they are as awesome in person as their online personas are. I did some diaper changes, and fed someone a bottle, and through all of that had some pretty deep conversations about all kinds of things. CAPCON seems to be a place where you can talk about just about anything, and from that came some very personal stories. If you know me you know I enjoy talking to people about the origins of our fetish/lifestyle, and I had lots of chances to do that here. 

I met some amazing new friends, too - some people who I suspect will become 'con buddies', and some others who may well become lifelong friends. I met people who I felt like I bonded with almost immediately, and as it was happening I kept thinking how none of it would be possible without diapers - diapers were the one thing that brought us together. 

I fucking love diapers. 

Con drop. 

It began this morning for many. Following the pageant, and a whole series of late-nite room party conversations had, new friendships made, Fetlife handles and Tumblr links swapped, and the high all of that brings, Sunday was basically a day for saying goodbyes. 

I watched people cry as they gave each other hugs, promising to keep in touch - and I knew that the con drop that I'd heard spoken of was beginning. I gave and received hugs myself. Then it was my friends' turn to go, and I watched them haul their luggage out on the trolley to the parking lot, and… boom. 

That con drop. 

As I post this rambling collection of things I noticed from the weekend, I am sitting in my room looking at the playpen I set up and was fortunate enough to get to watch some adorable li'l boys chill in. I'm seeing the empty baby food jars a new friend and I ate dinner out of last night. I look over at my phone and want to text someone and ask them if they're in their room like I have so many times this weekend - maybe I'll stop by on my way downstairs - but I remember that they're already out on the road. And I'm reading a text from someone promising to keep in touch, and I'm realizing that after a weekend filled with so many smiles and hugs and - well, just adorable littleness in person - going back to text messages is going to be HARD. 

Con drop. 

Already, though, I'm thinking ahead to the next con. There's US Littles in Colorado. And TeddyCon in the northeast. And CAPCON 2017. After an amazing weekend in my element, surrounded by so many others so much like me, I find myself like so many others leaving - wishing there was a way to make this feeling last. 

This weekend has made me resolved to one day have a permanent little of my own - a way to get some of this feeling every single day. 

Until then, there are con's… and you'll be seeing me at a lot more of them. 

To everyone who made CAPCON 2016 so amazing for me and so many other people here, thank you.