On Depression...

Back in October I wrote a blog post about abandonment issues. It was sparked by an anon message on Tumblr, but I answered it here at the anon's request. I acknowledged my own issues with abandonment, and I heard from a few people afterward who go through the same. Turns out it's pretty common in our community. Purges... who knew?

This week I got a message from an anon asking about depression. I posted a response, and invited said anon - or anyone, really - to hit me up. Nobody messaged to say they were the anon - which is his or her right, really, thus the whole concept of 'anonymous' lol - but I wanted to post something here, as well, since I know that stuff can get easily lost on Tumblr. So here it is...

I should mention that depression is something that has affected me for a long time, and it can be pretty intense at times. I've been planning a blog post about it for a while, and have had a few people ask to write guest entries, too, so one of these days...

Question: 

Do you have any advice for a little who's been feeling especially depressed lately? I've just felt down, and I don't know what to do to pick myself back up. It seems like it's always especially worse during the holidays. You've reblogged a few of my posts and I read your blog, was hoping you might have some advice.

Answer: 

Depression sucks ass - take it from someone who knows it all too well.

I’ve heard people say they feel more depressed than usual during the holidays, and I think I understand why. My own depression is always worse right after the holidays. It’s like the equivalent of con-drop for me - so much excitement and fun all packed into a few weeks and then BOOM it’s gone. I think that, coupled with the pressure of New Year’s resolutions, and the knowledge that I’m still going to be surrounded by a couple of dumdum’s I’ve been stuck with for so many years - all of these things roll together and make this the worst time of year for me.   You didn’t say where you are, but if you’re in the northern part of the US, or somewhere else that’s in the dead of winter, like me, you might be experiencing ‘seasonal affective disorder’ - a lack of sunshine truly fucks with our brains. I miss Florida for that very reason.

I’ve found that you’ll have two kinds of friends in your life: those who love you, care for you, and understand your depression; and, those who really care more for themselves than they do about you. Understand that the second set of friends will be worthless when it comes to this, and stop trying to reach out to them. Figure out who the first set are, and stay in contact with them as much as possible. When we are the most depressed we need the most contact with people who love us. Reach out to them, and they’ll help you get through the hard times.

My blog isn’t intended to be an advice column by any means, but I’m glad you’ve reached out. I’ve been blogging for nearly 10 years and I’ve talked to so many people going through some really dark moments during that time. If that describes your situation, inbox me off anon anytime, and I’ll hit you back as soon as I can. Misery loves company, so at the very least we can feel down together. :P