Q&A: Brandon

Cwis's Note: Up today I have a great Q&A entry from Brandon, a 28 year-old ABDL from Minneapolis. Brandon has a great handle on our fetish, and on a number of other fetishes as well.

One of the things I liked best about his story is when he explains how diapers are, basically, the singular best thing that ever happened to him. You'll understand when you read it.

Definitely a must-read, so read up...

Thanks, Brandon! 

Q&A With Brandon

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Name/Nick: Brandon/Tachbov

Age: 28City/State/Country: Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA

AB/DL/BabyFur/Other: I’d say 60% AB, 40% DL, but I’m becoming more AB-centric as time goes on.

Contact: www.rupadded.com/tachbov

YIM: Tachbov

• When did you first realize you were ABDL?

 An ABDL specifically? Not until I was about 13, but the internet question comes later. One of my earliest memories involves being stunned with jealously when I was about four and discovered the son of some family friends (who admittedly was younger then me) was still in diapers. He walked up to his mother and whispered in her ear. Next thing I know he’s flat on his back and getting his diaper changed. To this day I regret not causing a scene trying to get myself diapered as well. My mother did daycare for most of my childhood and we always had diapers around, I used to try them on and wonder why my penis would get all stiff when I did. Around the age of seven or eight though, the whole diaper interest seemed to radically fade until just before I hit puberty.

• What steps did you take to get your diaper 'fix' as a child and/or teen?

As a teen I exclusively stole Goodnites from a cousin for at least two years. For a long time they didn’t fit at all, I would just tear the sides and stuff my briefs with them. Then one day I noticed he went up a size and they TOTALLY fit me, it was a major turning point for my fetishism. Shortly after that I started buying my own Goodnites and then quickly moved onto depends and then buying real adult diapers online.

• Do your parents and/or siblings know about you and diapers? If so, please explain how, and how they reacted?

My Mother absolutely knows. As a sophomore in High School I left my cloth diapers in the dryer, my Mom of course found them and we had this awkward little talk, she was right on the ball too; immediately suspecting a fetish. I “convinced” her it was something I got as a gag gift, but she knew something else was up. Then in 2001, when I was a Junior in High School, my Mom discovered my whole stash, I had gotten lazy and left several dirty depends in a garbage bag in my closet. This time I jumped all over the bedwetting bandwagon, telling her stress was so bad at school I couldn’t take it and bedwetting was the way my body was coping. I had to go to our family doctor who obviously found nothing wrong with me; and this is where my story diverges significantly from most others, for you see, this incident was the most important positive thing that has ever happened to me. With my Mother now convinced I was being psychologically flayed alive at public High School (and I was, that was no lie), I was finally allowed to apply to a brand new experimental charter school for the fine arts. There I met every single friend I have today, there I met a mentor who helped me get into college, there I met my business partner, and there we built the foundation for our careers. All of these things happened to me because I got lazy and left a bunch of wet diapers in my room for just anyone to find. Fucking crazy huh?

• Have you dealt with the shame and regret that is the binge/purge cycle? Please explain.

 Oh ya, it’s part of the package deal. I’ve had two traditional purges where I tossed all my cloth diapers and plastic pants, both as a High Schooler. These days though my interest in diapers goes through a binge/purge cycle. I go months sometimes without wearing or even thinking about diapers. These periods usually coincide with very chill stretches when I’m pretty satisfied with my daily life. When I’m either in a funk or REALLY busy however, I must wear diapers (frequently) to defrag and find true relaxation. I’m in one of these heavy use periods right this moment, sitting here responding to a diaper questionnaire while thickly padded and wearing corduroy shortfalls.

• For collegebabies/DLs, did this interest affect your college experiences? If so, how?

Not in any way. After a semester I kicked my rooomate out of the bedroom area of our dorm (he made up a bedroom in the living room, no big deal) and after a three month hiatus, immediately bought a pack of Molicares. I wore to class all the time after that, it was never an issue.

• How has this fetish affected your social life and/or dating? Married life? Parenting?

I’m very socially awkward so dating for me is rough anyhow. As such, nearly everyone I’ve been sexually involved with was also an AB/DL. I’ve often wondered how my fetish would work into a more traditional relationship, but since I’ve never had to cross that bridge, I’ve never had to worry. My day to day social life is pretty accommodating though. I’m crazy for blanket sleepers and have never been shy about wearing them around people. I’m a fairly eccentric guy and the whole kids pajamas thing isn’t weird in the slightest according to my friends. In fact, I’ve found most people wish they had the guts to wear footed pajamas, I’ve never had a negative reaction when a friend of a friend sees me wear them for the first time. I have told a single friend about my wearing and using diapers and she was immediately understanding, because seriously; who in the world could we possibly be bothering?

• Some experts believe that we become the way we are because of traumas experienced at an early age, including abuse and/or neglect. Do your life experiences bear this out?

I’ve gathered that my potty training was done very fast in anticipation for my sister’s birth. My Mother did not like the idea of having two children in diapers so I was wrenched out of them at too early an age (for me). I feel pretty strongly that this led to my interest and later sexualizing of diapers and diaper related clothing. 

• For the little dunces, please tell us about what it was like to discover this fetish/lifestyle on the Internet. Please be at least 18 at the time of writing, but be specific about what age you discovered it, what sites helped you, and keep this part PG for obvious reasons.

Oh man, let me try to put this into perspective; I’ve had three massive, life-changing awakenings online where I found others had established a community around ideas I thought were privately mine. Going backwards they are; discovering Libertarianism, stumbling onto Transhumanism (H+, SERIOUSLY look it up) and the first of these was finding Diaper Pail Friends at the age of 13. I may have actually cried a little when I first discovered I was not the only one who had these odd desires.

• Do your interests involve a subset of this community, such as babyfurs, diaper disciplinarians, wet/messy, sissybabies etc.? Please tell us about it. I won't even try to be specific here; just tell us what you think people should know.

I have multiple paraphilias. Some of them are sexual and others are not. I have non-sexual uniform and equipment fetishes (I swear I only cycle every day because I get to wear a helmet, and special gloves, and special shoes…etc). I’ve read about a rarely used term called Pedovestium (attraction to juvenile clothing) that really seems to cover all the bases for me on the AB/DL side. I am so enamored with juvenile pajamas that I almost consider it to be a different fetish. The very first thing I did in college when I felt I had a private environment going was to FINALLY purchase a blanket sleeper. I got them from a now defunct website called Warmth Wear, they were custom tailored with my selection of options (something that immediately spoiled me), a few months after that I found Forever-a-Kid and was spoiled even further. Over the years I’ve ordered three blanket sleepers, five polo pajamas, a raglan-sleeve romper and most recently the corduroy shortalls I mentioned earlier. The shortalls were a big step for me, I had always wanted some but “didn’t want to get into” non-pajama juvenile clothing. When I saw an especially cute fellow on RUP wearing some adorable shortalls, I knew right then and there that I was absolutely a hardcore fetishist. It was kind of like having to “come out” to myself all over again.

I also have a compression/retention fetish (I LOVE wearing backpacks and life jackets because they squeeze me) and so another important article in my AB/DL dresser is my proprioceptive vest. I found it at funandfunction.com and it rocks me silly. It’s a vest designed to gently “hug” the person wearing it, and is extremely therapeutic for people with sensory perception issues like autism. While I am not on the autism spectrum, it still feels as good on my upper body as my diaper feels on my lower body. I love wearing it under my blanket sleeper, do yourself a favor and try it out.

• What % of your sexual activities and/or masturbation incorporate diapers? Has this caused problems for you?

Easily 100%. I can’t get off without thinking about diapers and the guys that wear them.

• If you get into the regression aspect of ABDL please tell us more about that. If you do not, and you have feelings about being lumped into a fetish involving it, explain how it makes you feel.

It differs from day to day and how tired I am. I can dress like a diaper boy and do pretty much anything, but I won’t feel that helplessness unless I’m curled up in bed trying to fall asleep with my Nuk firmly planted in my mouth.

Don't let yourself be limited by my questions. If you have anything else at all that you would like to say please feel free to say it here:

I guess the only thing I have left to say is that I am simply grateful for my fetish. I feel lucky to have it. The satisfaction and warm fuzzies I get from simply putting a diaper and pajamas on almost seems unfair. How can something so silly, innocent, and harmless make me feel SOOO good? I honestly pity people who don’t have an outlet like we do. If everyone had something they loved as much as I love diapers and juvenile clothes there would be no war; because we’d all be cuddled up taking naps.